Posted by Maxime on March 20, 2007, at 19:25:24
In reply to Re: I want peace *HUGS*/Maxime, posted by stargazer on March 20, 2007, at 8:16:08
*hugs*
It it so hard and it does wear a body and brain down.
I've seen psychopharmacologists and I have tried just about everything (except ECT). My depression has been dx'd as treatment resistant and/or atypical.
EXHAUSTED.
Maxime
> Maxime,
> YOu sound like me, I just told my doctor yesterday that I think working for so long with depression never allowed me to get better.
>
> I have always been good at hiding it and the more I repressed it the more I denied how huge a problem it has been over the 20 years I have been taking meds. I thought, hey I can still work, kind of, but I was really just continuing to not get better. I now see what a full time job it is to try and find answers. I could never do what I am now doing to research, try more meds, etc. My fear was always getting worse while continuing to work.
>
> With my age (50) it is harder to repress and deny the severity of it, since my defenses are not as effectively controlling my symptoms anymore. This is probably a combination of factors, one of which is the aging effect. The Other is my anger has surfaced and I am really pissed off my treatment has been so marginal for all the years I followed my pdoc's advice and continued to try meds and push for better solutions.
>
> I think knowing I have so little time left to find a solution that I am fighting with every ounce of strength to figure this out so I can have some quality of life before I die.
>
> Either way, I'm pushing the envelope now to get my pdoc to help me or else I need to see other specialists who I have yet to find in my area. Even my pdoc is at a loss as to who he would recommend for me to see. I think I may either have to enter a research study or find a leading psychopharmacologist/MD who is really at the top of the field.
>
> Stargazer
poster:Maxime
thread:741101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070320/msgs/742619.html