Posted by Tomatheus on July 21, 2006, at 3:15:31
In reply to Thoughts on Depression and other diagnoses..., posted by stargazer on July 21, 2006, at 0:30:53
Stargazer,
I think you made some valid points, but I also can't help but feel offended by some of what you've written.
I can't speak for others who post here, but I can say that when I'm feeling severely depressed, I don't feel coherent enough to write or post anything at all. When I'm feeling either moderately depressed or mildly depressed (usually mildly depressed) is when I write and post my messages.
When I'm not taking any meds or taking meds that only help me slightly (which covers most of the time that I've spent posting here), the severity of my depressive symptoms varies considerably -- sometimes even during the course of a day. Are there days when I feel so depressed (during the entire course of the day) that I can hardly put words together to form a sentence? Of course! Are those the days that I post? Hell no! When I'm feeling that way, I'm lying down in bed. I don't have the kind of energy to even read messages here, let alone write them.
If I'm feeling well enough to read and respond to the posts here, I usually write using a style that is consistent with my educational background. Most of the time, I try to make my posts as easy to understand as possible. However, if for example, I'm writing to someone who's been studying to be a psychiatrist, I may use a more "technical" writing style.
By the way -- and this goes for everybody -- if I ever use a term that you're not familiar with or write something that sounds too confusing, please ask me to clarify what I've written. It is *never* my intention to confuse anybody. I do, however, like to respond with as much helpful information as I can.
I agree with your observation that some of those with depressive disorders who post here are going to sound like they're functioning better than others. Generally speaking, those who post highly coherent messages with lots of information are probably doing better than those who have difficulty posting much of anything -- at least at the time that they're writing their messages.
But one *cannot* assume that those who are capable of posting coherent and highly informative messages *some of the time* are not suffering from a real psychiatric disorder. And one certainly cannot assume that just because a post reflects a relatively high level of education that the person who made that post cannot be experiencing depression or another psychiatric illness. When one reads a Psycho-Babble post (or anything else, for that matter), all the reader can "see" is the final product. But there are some things that the reader cannot (usually) see, including the writer's exact state of mind, the amount of time it took the writer to compose the message, and the extent to which the message was edited.
As I said, the severity of my depressive symptoms can vary consideribly from day to day, or sometimes even over the course of a day. Some days, I feel so depressed all day that I can't get out of bed. On other days, I may feel severely depressed for just part of the day and moderately depressed for the rest of the day. And yes, believe it or not, there are sometimes days when I feel just mildly depressed and not incredibly far from "normal" for most of the day (usually following nights of partial sleep deprivation). Don't you think that I -- more than anybody -- would want to feel only mildly depressed (if not better) all of the time? If you want to call my illness an "inability to cope in a chaotic world," I guess I can't stop you from saying that, but I do feel offended by what you said, and I find it to be highly inaccurate. I would *love* more than anything to be a full participant in this "chaotic world" that you refer to, just as I was when I was in remission and before my depressive symptoms began to surface more than six years ago. There was a time when I was in remission, and even though I felt that life was often challenging and stressful, I enjoyed the things in life that I knew I was supposed to be enjoying. And no, I was not hypomanic. I know the difference. I've been there, too.
The rest of my responses to your post are below...
> One is that I am amazed at the amount of medications, combinations of meds and research that is done by so many of you (you sound like drug researchers using the lingo and no one understanding what the hell you are saying, except other 'researchers' you converse with) to try and come up with a plan for what meds you think you should be on. On one hand it is a good thing to educate ourselves and be informed consumers... on the other hand I don't know how much it is helping unless your doctor goes along with you and prescribes what you feel is the 'best' medication. I wouldn't think most doctors would prescribe meds they are not comfortable with since the potential for side effects is so great, not to mention the risk of liability.
First of all, the conversations that I have with my doctor are my business and my business *only*. If I wanted to state specifically which of my "ideas" my doctor has gone along with and which ones he hasn't gone along with, I would have done so in previous posts.
But in response to what you wrote, I will say (with no offense meant toward my doctor) that the only treatment plan that *ever* worked for me was one that I came up with after doing my own research. Unfortunately, the treatment that I'm referring to is no longer available to me. So, even though the research that I did is no longer helping me, it did for a while, so, yes, I do think that my research was worthwhile.
> Blind faith perhaps, but I still believe that finding a good doctor holds the key for long term management of depression
Not if none of the treatments that your doctor can prescribe to you will work. I think that someone here once said that a master chef is only as good as his (or her) ingredients. I believe that the same is true of psychiatrists with respect to medications and other treatment options.
> So are we talking more about depression here or the inability to cope in a chaotic world where we have so little control in our lives (I feel like this) that we look, we research, we try and control which medications we take, without concern for side effects, interactions, long term effects and basically agree to become a human guinea pig for the sake of feeling better. We all are trying to feel better that is our plight, but at what cost to ourselves????
>
> Forget about knowing which med caused what side effect(s), how about spending an equal amount of time on researching which organs will fail due to metabolism in the liver and/or kidneys.Once again, I can't speak for others here, but I have spent some time researching how various meds affect the functioning of the liver, kidneys, and other organs. I've also spent some time researching how my *illness* (which, in my case, I believe is caused at least in part by the abnormally high production of MAO-A) affects liver functioning. In one post that I wrote a few weeks ago, I even suggested that taking a particular medication at an abormally high dose could significantly increase one's risk of liver failure. So, I don't think that it's the case at all that I haven't researched and/or am not concerned about the long-term effects of taking meds. But the adverse effects (both short term and long term) of taking no meds should not be ignored, either.
> It is starting to sound like we too smart for our own good...
>
> Time will tell...Thanks for listening..Yes, I do agree. Time will tell.
Tomatheus
poster:Tomatheus
thread:668858
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060717/msgs/668870.html