Posted by med_empowered on November 29, 2005, at 2:21:45
In reply to Re: I am SOOO confused., posted by Phillipa on November 28, 2005, at 19:54:42
hi! OK, first off...dont beat yourself up. Feeling sad/being depressed isn't a mental illness, in my book; really, its part of the human experience. If it gets too bad, some form of assistance (medication, therapy, counselling, etc.) might be in order but..the more you look at what you are experiencing as *bad* and somehow a sort of *mental illness* the worse you will feel. And try not to feel guilty about not being 100% all the time, etc. You sound like an awesome person--this includes being an awesome mother, wife, and all around human being. Whatever it is you're dealing with, you'll have your strong family to help you out with it.
With medication...I really dont know what to tell you. I think maybe we experience the same sort of deep, dark misery underneath anxiety. I had a brief "fit" of that today--it was bad, but then talking to my friends and calling a couple people I haven't seen in a while made it a whole lot better. I kind of think I've benefited from self-help and creative writing in my spare time in dealing with this; before you opt to go the medication route, you might want to consider something similar, or talk therapy or something (these could also be combined with medication, of course). Switching your benzo might help...your klonopin dose seems really low, but it could be making this problem worse..maybe a switch to ativan would help? But I dont think its essential.
Bottom line: what you are experiencing SUCKS--but its normal. People get miserable, and its great that you realize this and are acting to change it (remember the old saying "most people lead lives of quiet desperation" ? NOT YOU). I sometimes find that its better to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling without judging it or classifying it..just let it go, without any sort of attachment to the emotion(s) or any value judgements placed on them. I'm not perfect at this--in fact, I'm not even *good* at this-- but it really has helped me tremendously. Its like...you can uncover this inner source of calm, peace, strength and tranquility that I *thought* might exist, but had never before really experienced. Good luck!
poster:med_empowered
thread:583091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20051126/msgs/583240.html