Posted by dippy on September 10, 2005, at 21:56:15
[background: just got back on Wellbutrin 300 XL, Klonopin for anxiety for the past few years, sometimes Ambien]
I had another meltdown today. Uncontrollable crying, repetitive negative thoughts (worry), no desire to get out of bed and shower, and social fear.
A lot of changes are happening in my life and I just can't deal with it. These depressive episodes are always during a "life altering" decision or event. In other words, I don't adapt well to change. Along with change comes fears and anxiety.
I suppose that I am genetically predisposed to depression due to an extensive family history. It surfaces at these life moments.
How can I accept and appreciate the good things? How can I not take myself so seriously? I feel mentally beaten up and on the edge of a virtual cliff.
This older man I was friends with used to inspire that carefree spirit in me. He died about a year ago. I'm over the pain of his death and everything- that's not a problem. I just need someone like him to come along and make me realize that life is not so scary.
That felt good to vent. Goodnight Babblers!
poster:dippy
thread:553490
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050909/msgs/553490.html