Posted by med_empowered on August 11, 2005, at 17:22:59
In reply to Re: Low blood pressure » pretty_paints, posted by ed_uk on August 11, 2005, at 15:23:22
Sorry about your side-effects :-( Clozapine can be really, really rough. On the plus side...EPS and tardive dyskinesia are rare on clozpine (I think the official line is that Clozapine doesn't cause TD, though I've heard some conflicting reports on that. Anyway, its incredibly rare). The low blood-pressure thing and the sedation, salivation must be awfully tiring and I can understand how you feel like you you're moving backwards, but I really think you seem to be making progress. As for the hospital...its understandable to miss the hospital; everything was laid out for you, everyone was focused on helping you get better but...its not some place you should be long-term. The reason clozapine and the newer antipsychotics are used is because they give patients a much, much better chance of living a happy, successful, independent life than the old drugs or long-term hospitalization. Try to "re-frame" the situation; instead of looking back at the hospital stay and missing it, try to appreciate what you have now--more freedom, more responsibility, a more rich and varied life. Also, try to make some friends and acquaintances and do what you can to enrich your social circle. WHen I get lonely, I actually miss my hospital stay a bit, too...but then I remember: I hated it there. The staff was bitchy, my shrinks was an *ss, and everything was controlled without any regrad for what *I* might want or need, or what was truly important to *me*. But then, when I make it a point to get out more, spend some more time with friends...I start to feel better. A lot better. Even when we fight or just have boring days together, being around people I know and like and trust in the "real world" setting makes me realize that my hospital stay wasn't that great, and that I really DO NOT want to go back there; for all its ups and downs, life "on the outside" is definitely the way to go...IF you have social support. The only thing I really miss about the hospital is the social support; the staff wasn't so great (sometimes mean, sometimes just condescending...they did what they could, I think), but the support of talking to bright, imaginitive, but troubled people who, like me, were trying to make sense of their lives and their place in the world gave me an experience of support and peace that I will probably never be able to re-create. But..that's OK. I took what I could from the experience, bitched about it alot, and now I think I'm all the better for it. So please....before you gloss over your hospital stay and begin to miss it, remember that the world outside has a LOT to offer you, and you can take what you learned from the hospital, and what happened there (good AND bad) and go forth and do better and be better than you ever have before.
poster:med_empowered
thread:539956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050811/msgs/540380.html