Posted by Wendigo on May 5, 2005, at 7:12:57
In reply to Re: Alcoholism - side effect??, posted by Corafree on May 4, 2005, at 22:22:39
Thank you, thank you for the responses to my alcoholism worries...I was certain that at least someone would respond, "Get to an AA meeting, stat!" All the "Are you an alcoholic?" quizzes I've found and taken on the internet confirm that I am indeed an alcoholic, but then (according to the quizzes) so is anyone who has ever felt remorse after drinking, has drunk more than they meant to, or has drunk as an attempt to relax...I don't doubt that I could easily slip into alcoholism without the Effexor side effect, but certainly with it I've shown a scary lack of control. Scary because it doesn't seem to scare me, just my husband. I'm striving for moderation, and it's absurd that after six beers (albeit "light/lo-carb") I'm thinking, hey, this is moderate drinking...I barely have a buzz.
Anyway, wanted to say I appreciate the nonjudgmental responses, even from those who are recovering alcoholics themselves celebrating x number of years' sobriety. I've been through the parallel 12-step program for eating disorders, beating my head against the wall, working steps and surrendering over and over to a higher power, but I have to say that the only thing that broke a ten-year cycle of binge/purge hell for me (and I did see a cognitive therapist at some point) was Effexor XR (75 mg). That was the first time I ever took anything for depression (as soon as I weaned my 11-month-old daughter from nursing). I also began taking oral contraceptives, which probably also helped in the hormone department. After some time I stopped taking Effexor to see how I'd do because we'd moved and I wasn't looking forward to finding another doctor...I was ok for a while but began feeling anxious about my eating and finally found a new doctor and explained my history and requested a prescription for an antidepressant. This time I asked to try Prozac, because I'd read about its efficacy with bulimics. I took it for about six months without problems, then decided to stop it and the birth control during Lent (a "born again" Catholic, you could say, although my spiritual walk/stumble is another story). I became pregnant with my son, found an ob/gyn and explained my history, but didn't get back on anything until my 6th month of pregnancy, when I panicked about my eating again. In case I didn't emphasize it before, the postpartum 11 months after my daughter was born (during which time I nursed her, without any medication) was a nightmarish. I hate that her first months are tainted in memory because of my illness but it's true; I was completely out of control and completely miserable. I can't imagine the quality of my breast milk because I would basically starve myself for days at a time and then binge, then starve and binge, also exercising like a madman. I only wish I had tried an antidepressant sooner, but that's hindsight. Anyway, I told my doctor I couldn't do that again, that I wanted to prepare in advance for the postpartum phase with my second child, so I began taking the Prozac during the six month of pregnancy and continued throughout postpartum. I can't remember the dosage, but I took it for about a year total, and that's when I first noticed the alcohol cravings/lessened alcohol effect. I was concerned because I was still nursing, but told myself it was okay if I drank a bit after I fed my son for the night... I stopped the Prozac and took nothing for a while, during which time I know I felt less of a desire to drink and consumed much less when I did drink.I began taking Effexor again because I had become more reclusive and depressed; didn't want it to adversely affect my kids (avoiding playdates, "fun" social activities). I also noticed some eating anxiety again and anytime that monster rears its head I'll do whatever necessary to knock it back down. I'd rather take Effexor for the rest of my life and wrestle with potential alcoholism than be consumed by the bulimia/bulimarexia again, but that's just me. I'm currently down to 75 mg (down from 150), and it seems better right now. I noticed that if I could just refrain from alcohol for about two or three days after drinking, it didn't seem to be so important to me, but during the first day or two I would feel like, oh no, I'm a total alcoholic, which means I should completely abstain from alcohol for the rest of my life or else who knows what could develop...I'm kidding myself if I think I can drink in moderation, etc. and that kind of thinking really depresses me because I don't WANT to give up the pleasure or freedom of moderate consumption, it's so black and white that way but I know it may be the only sane solution. The idea of abstinence in the eating twelve-step group never worked for me, giving up something only seemed to trigger a binge. Going to meetings seemed to trigger a binge. I don't know.
I do appreciate your support and am relieved to hear that someone else (absolute/fuji) has experienced this; the quotes from Elroy (I think) also helped. This has been my only real problem with either Effexor or Prozac, and as I said before, if I had to choose between the lesser of two evils (eating disorder vs. alcoholism) I'd take alcoholism.
Thanks again.
poster:Wendigo
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050504/msgs/494004.html