Posted by jcalder on February 21, 2005, at 12:23:15 [reposted on February 21, 2005, at 23:58:08 | original URL]
In reply to Re: lexapro and marijuana use » jcalder, posted by Impermanence on February 19, 2005, at 20:15:29
no, he didn't have alcohol in his system when he punched holes in walls, etc. he would just wake up like that, he would go into the kitchen to make his lunch and if we were out of donuts, pepsi, or anything small like that he would just go off. if i said anything at all, watch out!! that is why he went to talk to a psych and got on the meds. it's just hard to accept that his meds gave him enough confidence to leave me when i didn't even know he wanted to. like i said, we had problems, but i thought the problems revolved around his anger issues and depression, and i just always tried to help him with those issues, tried to make him happy, not unhappy. most of the fights we got into were because he either got way too pissed off about nothing and smashed up the house, or because he would just sit around and watch tv and not help out at all with the house, kids, etc. the more i talk about him and how he is, the more i question why i care anyways if he wants to leave me, maybe he is doing me a favor. i just can't help feeling sad that if these meds are really going to work for him, i can't believe he wants to experience it alone when i feel that i am the one who has tried so hard for all these years to help him feel good, and encourage him to talk to someone and maybe get on some meds, and now that he has done it and feels like he can be a normal person, he doesn't want to share that with me and the family, he wants to do it alone, it's like he just wants to start a new life and see if he can make it better this time, and that's not fair when he has a life and family he is leaving behind. i have accepted the fact that he is gone, and the marriage is over. it just still hurts, and i just wish i had a real reason. i think that's what i really need, because i'm just not buying what he's saying, i don't believe you just wake up one day and realize the woman you have been married to for 1o years and the mother of your children is the wrong one for you...doesn't make sense to me. about the weed, so smoking the pot while you take psyche meds doesn't have any kind of affect on your brain or the way the meds work or anything like that? and if he has so much self confidence now and sees things so clearly, why on earth would he think it is ok to just send whatever little bit of money he can when he can? this family is accostomed to him bringing home at least 1000.00 per week, and he just up and leaves one day and has sent me less than 500.00 for a whole month, how is he expecting us to survive? that's not enought to cover my daycare for a month, let alone the mortgage, utilities, groceries, diapers, etc. so if he sees things so clearly, wouldn't he be able to figure out that he needs to do something to send us some more money, wouldn't he want his kids to be taken care of? or since he has come to this new found discovery of how unhappy he is with me, he doesn't think he needs to pay up? sorry to drive you crazy...but when something like this just happens out of the blue...it really throws you for a loop...it almost consumes me, i'm getting a little better though, day by day...
poster:jcalder
thread:459674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20050217/msgs/461615.html