Posted by bridgey1128 on November 8, 2004, at 15:31:28
In reply to Re: Big Stomach:( » headachequeen, posted by iris2 on November 8, 2004, at 12:37:50
Actually that is why I refused to take anything that would make me gain weight. I wouldn't BE happy fat. So it would be pointless for me to take a med that would cause a trigger. My weight has always been a depression trigger for me and now that is is going down I can live with a few extra pounds as it goes down because I know that I can lose it. I can't live with a medicine that will make me fat because that is one of the reasons that causes me to BECOME depressed in my cycles of depression so that would be a stupid logic for me to say I would be ok to take a med. I would rather be crazy and deal with a little hyperness and racing thoughts and occasional depression than deal with being fat. I know that sounds rather shallow but when I had lost all my weight I had hardly any bouts with depression so I know that was a major cause of it. Now my mania was another story. Of course, I guess my bipolar II doesn't seem to be as "bad", so to speak, as some people's and my rational mind still works even though my emotional one does not. It's like they are two separate entities. Even when I am in a deep dark depression, my rational mind is telling my emotional one, quit being so stupid, you know this is just a cycle. You know you have people who love you and support you. You know you will come out of this so don't do anything that you will regret. All the while I am sobbing and feeling like crap. My feelings are still taking over but the rationality is there so I know it will pass. I guess that is why I have never killed myself. Even when I have been in a rage, throwing things and hitting things (not people). Punching objects (I must have some seriously strong bones because I have never broken any fingers or knuckles and I punch hard). One time in high school I punched a concrete post. I had to ask my psych teacher for a bag of ice for my hand and I don't think he bought my explaination that I had hit it on something. I think he was wondering who lost the fight, although I never got into fights. I ended up with 3 golf ball sized bruises on my knuckles but I did not break them. The most recently stupid thing I did was hit myself. I was so angry I punched myself in the jaw. Still, not breaking anything but left a big golf ball sized bruise on my right jaw. I didn't realize that was going to bruise because I have hit myself before and it never had bruised. I felt REALLY bad because I didn't want someone to think my husband had hit me because he would NEVER lay a hand on me. I also felt bad because I had to lie to my mom, and yes she bought it. I told her I caught my foot in the sheet as I was getting out of bed and smacked my face on my side table. Which, actually, I have done before, it just didn't leave a bruise. I must also add, that I do not make a practice of lying, but that I am a very honest person. Hence the foot in mouth disease. :P The bluntness. Anyway, I hope that you can find a med, Irene, that can help your situation without causing the extra weight in the tummy. I know that must be frustrating for you. Because of my shape, I don't tend to gain weight there first. I gain it in my butt,legs and boobs. I have also found that working out doesn't help me lose weight either so I gave up on that one a long time ago. The only thing that has ever helped is the Atkins diet. I know people find it hard to stay on, but I find the longer I am on it, the less I want starches and things and the less hungry I am. I do find that I need to stay away from diet drinks a lot. My body tends to see them as the real thing. I am thinking I might need to take extra potassium listening to you guys. My vitamins have a lot of other things in them but because I drink so much water and the vitamins don't have that much in them I might be potassium deficient. I might just end up peeing it out. :P Oops! I'm glad you are feeling better Merry! Welcome back to the land of the living! And how is M doing L? Is she doing better? Poor Kat has had it so rough. :( And yes the drug allergy thing I do believe IS a redhead thing. I am allergic, I have found to a lot of different antibiotics. When Dr's ask me what antibiotics I am allergic to I just take a deep breath and go down the line....Penicillin, codeine, keflex, cipro, sulfa drugs...morphine makes me want to scratch my face off. All the favorites. Luckily I can take Levequin. So all is not lost should I get bronchitis again this year. I have been fighting it off! GO AWAY!!! Anyway, I hope everyone else gets better soon.
poster:bridgey1128
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041108/msgs/413380.html