Posted by iris2 on October 21, 2004, at 10:32:34
In reply to Re: Topomax and bipolar II, posted by rainy on October 19, 2004, at 16:35:12
> Bridgey, may I add a different interpretation to foot in mouth disease? Mine is the kind that comes with loss of judgment. Like in what might be called a confirmation class (13 fourteen year olds, all of us Unitarian Universalists, if that means anything--very liberal). I used the term "poop-head" to illustrate what not to call some one in a put down. (Sorry, Dr. Bob.) I further allowed myself to be suckered into a two minute discussion of a sex act before I stopped it (I used to be a medical social worker in a family planning clinic)and further, told five of the worst behaving students that I wanted them to shut up. All of this while my husband, the minister, had left me alone while he went to get pizzas because the parent who was supposed to bring them didn't.
> I lost my so called clear thinking when he left me alone with the hungry, already unruly kids. I simply could not restore order. I blame the almost immediate return to adolescence on my part on the Topamax, as well as my personality.
> Would it have happened if I hadn't been on meds? Would I have obsessed about it for two weeks if I weren't "stabilized" in the depressed stage of bipolar II?
> I say things that are inappropriate and don't even realize I've done so until later, although I realized these guys right away. That's a little different than the runaway talking that Bridgey writes about. Maybe they're both a function of the disorder and have nothing to do with the medication?
> linda
>
>
> Some symptoms of bipolar II are, but not limited to, extreme irritability, excessive talkativeness (foot in mouth syndrome), I find that I have had that problem. It's like I couldn't stop talking. It was a compulsion. Even though I knew I might be getting on people's nerves, I was SOOO wired and hyper because I was around other people, I couldn't stop talking. Bipolar II isn't like manic depression, which is bipolar I. You don't have feelings of grandeur, where you feel indestrucible. I have, however, gone out and spent money I don't really have, although it hasn't been excessive like one would do in bipolar I. Not hundreds of dollars at a time or staying gone for days at a time and not sleeping. Depression has hit me REALLY hard at times though. Suicidal, worthlessness. Not wanting to get out of bed, but I had to make myself because I have two kids. Anger. I get really angry when I am depressed. I become violent to myself. I used to be a "cutter". I was never that bad compared to some people though. I get irrational and I am prone to anxiety attacks. Those are just a few examples. I guess individual people react in different ways but similarly. Bipolar II is more depression than "hypomania". It's not a full blown mania like in bipolar I. That is why is takes us so long to be diagnosed.
A couple of nerves were hit here. First I am Unitarian Universalist and second it all kind of adds up to me being Bipolar II.I am all of the symptoms Bridgey wrote. Inappropriate speech and what I call constant "chatter". I thought the "chatter was mostly from the Ritalin which is the main reason why I wanted to find a new med, Strattera that would motivate me a little and give me energy without causing the "chatter". The inappropriate speaking I thought was from my own immaturity and so little going on in my life that I had not a lot to talk about. Since I talk so much and cannot stand silence when I am around people I thought this was it. I do not realize until later how inappropriate what I said might have been or sometimes how much I chatter although I have made great effort and strides not to chatter so much and to realize when I do so that I can stop it. I do notice that when I do not take the Ritalin I generally do not have this "chatter" problem.
So I get extremely irritable, talk excessively. I get so wired and hyper around others it IS like a compulsion and I cannot stop the talking. I lost my best friend this got so bad for a while. It is one of the reasons I stopped taking so much Ritalin. I probably felt a little better on more but know one could stand to be around me now I myself.
I recently told a couple of guys I hardly knew, on a hike, about how my mother buys my underwear as a tradition every year which might not have been so bad except I continued and told them of this very sexy underwire/lacy/garter thing she bought me when I was 17 and how I showed it to my brother and he said I would not have to wear it I could just hold it up for a guy. These people had met me one time before. They joked about it for some time and I cannot tell you how embarrassed I was. It was not in any context of any conversation either! The Ritalin might make me "chatter" more but it does not put the words in my mouth.
I get anxious and angry when I am depressed too. I used to cut or bang my head against the wall. Then for a while I threw stuff all the time and screamed at my dogs. I am getting better. I have not cut for years now or banged my hands or head. I rarely throw something but I still yell at the dogs and the thin air. The poor dogs get yelled at for nothing and one of them is afraid and hides. I feel so guilty afterwards. I never have a feeling of Grandeur or hypomania. I never have much energy at all. The only time I get some strange amount of energy is very few times when I have become so irritated and had a kind of anxiety attack about how bad the mess and clutter in my house is and I spent like an hour or two just throwing things away. I would have more energy in that hour or so and get more done than I do in months. The anxiety would keep me going and usually I cried the whole time. Then it would abruptly end and I would be all sweaty with no energy again. I do the shopping thing too. I have NO money as I am on disability but every now and again I throw caution to the wind and just go out and buy things that I generally need but have been doing without. And I buy them all in one day not just say to myself I need this one thing. I usually overdraw on my account and have to ask my family for help. I know if I had more money that I would not have near the inhibition and spend a lot more.
I am over speaking again. I can always tell when my posts are so long that I have taken my Ritalin within the last hour, which is exactly true.
Wrote all of this because after reading what the two of you wrote about Bipolar II I thought I should actually have this diagnosis. What is anyone’s opinion?
Irene
poster:iris2
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041018/msgs/405434.html