Posted by headachequeen on October 3, 2004, at 16:15:33
In reply to Re: Thanks for the advice, posted by bridgey1128 on October 3, 2004, at 13:51:21
> If she has muscle and is 170...that isn't too overweight for 5ft 6. I hope she isn't trying to look at the scale and is just telling by clothes if she is losing weight. Kids are cruel and mean. I know cheerleading is important to her but honestly, it's not the end of the world. She's only 16. Yes, I know, try to explain that to a 16 year old. I am 5'6" and at 170, because of the muscle I have, I look good. I weigh 230 right now and look like I weigh about 190. I guess it depends on your body type. Can she not just get bigger uniforms? I mean heaven sake. It's not like she isn't healthy enough to cheer is she? When I was in high school we had a chick on the squad who was pretty chunky but dang she could cheer better than any of them and ended up being Captain her senior year. It sounds like maybe she has some serious outside influences that have to do with her self image. Life isn't all about the outside image. Skinny doesn't equal healthy either. As long as she eats healthy and you said she has been exercising (hopefully not obsessively) her weight shouldn't matter. She's not morbidly obese, just slightly overweight for her height and if people can't keep their mouth shut about her gaining a few pounds then what snobs!! Maybe she needs some better people to hang around with. If she has real friends they will understand what she is going through thick or thin..excuse the pun. It sounds like you are a really supportive mom and she is blessed to have you. I hope she has a few good friends she can trust as well. She is going to need them.
I have been thinking along the same lines, Bridgey and I have to add that I have seen photos of Bridgey.. it is hard to believe her weight when you see her photos at 190...
When I was in high school I was on the cheering squad too until I was kicked off for breaking one of the rules... it seems that riding the football bus was simply the greatest sin of all time but the game was seven hours from home and the station wagon left without four of us...were we supposed to walk????
I think that at 5'6" and less than ninety pounds I looked worse than your daughter would at 170 unless she is sloppy, based on the program she follows as described, I doubt very much that she is that...
I was so grateful for the Aran-knit turtlenecks and the tartan pleated skirts and even then it didn't sink in that perhaps I needed help and that I had an eating disorder...
eating disorders didn't exist then...
I remember gaining a few pounds and panicking...
so I can sympathise on many levels with your daughter...
yes the teen peer group is brutal...
and yes the teen self is more brutal...
but she needs to remember and to learn that she has to accept herself..
if she has self esteem people will accept her as is where is and when is...the captain of our cheering squad was almost six feet tall and this in an society in which most of the girls were 5'4" or less...
she was beautiful and she knew it and so did they. Everyone wanted to be Morag...
Another of our Cheerleaders was severely crippled... she walked with a sort of hunched over style... yet she was accepted as a cheerleader and she was one of the most popular girls in school right up there with Morag and the rest...
If your daughter accepts herself as she works on this problem and holds her head up and has fun the rest will want to be with her..
they will want to BE her...
I know... I learned it... and lived it...and another problem is to make sure the weight loss doesn't go too far....
I know, you didn't need that now...
my husband keeps reminding me how thin I was when he met me... and he worries that I am going to obsess about weight again...
keeps telling people that he thinks this has gone far enough...
well I don't want to be the ninety-pound scrawny person again EVER
I see my school photos and wonder how on earth no one noticed...
but I would like to lose a few more...
and then it is a matter of holding the line...kat
poster:headachequeen
thread:5053
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20041002/msgs/398589.html