Posted by PoohBear on July 22, 2004, at 13:01:54
In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR? » dusty534, posted by corafree on July 22, 2004, at 11:44:28
> I feel like this site has led me to true friends, understanding I have an illness; not saying how can we help you when you don't help yourself, as my family of origin has said, since Dad passed away. Maybe he guided me to meet you here. You have helped to fill my 'empty heart' ... pretty mushy, but really true. Thanks ... wish you were here Dusty. Corafree
Cora:
We're all here for you and I personally will pray that you get some emotional support sent your way.
It's very hard for family to "understand", given the prejudices that society at large has against mental illness. It really is a spooky subject full of millenia of taboos that cannot be easily washed away in a generation or two. It's like looking at people that slip away into Altzhiemer's: Were are they? Are they still "in there" somewhere? The questions involved deal with the very bedrock of who we really "are", ie, more than just flesh and blood.
Here's a link to another good book that may help answer some of the questions you're facing:
"The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?"
I myself have never attempted suicide, though I ideated about it constantly (before Effexor), which was scary enough. My sister-inlaw on the other hand, hung herself 5 1/2 years ago (her fourth attempt...) and we (her extended family) are still paying the price as we adopted her two teens and have had to raise them to adulthood, a process frought with pain of adjustment to a new life in a new culture for the kids and our family growing instantly from 3 to 5 for us...
Dealing with my own depression has given me sooooooo much empathy for those who are depressed and understanding for those who would contemplate ending their own lives. I can understand the kind of depression that leads to a hopeless tunnel vision where the goal of ending the immediate pain filters out any other consideration (like what happens to the survivors). I guess in a way that's ultimately the reason why I've never been able to conceive actually going through with suicide, because to me, deep down inside, it's the ultimate selfish act. That's just my opinion, I'm not dissing anyone else...
Ending one's life is just like a car wreck: one dies while everyone else in the car (the rest of the family) survives. And just like in a car accident, they survive, but only with scars and lots of questions, some more so than others, depending on their internal constitution.
Your family can't support you now; perhaps they will be able to in the future. You'll have to make your own life and reconnect with others who can support you, much like a plant that is transported from a nursery to someone's yard. The surroundings are different, but with enough sun, water and nutrients you'll put down roots and thrive. Right now you're root-bound, stifled by the tight "pot" you find yourself in. But even a root-bound plant can do well. It has to be unpotted and the roots scored with a knife before it's planted so that the roots will grow out, not in. You need to grow out.
I hope this all makes sense and is encouraging, as it's meant to be.
You are much loved, God bless...
Tony
poster:PoohBear
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040719/msgs/368997.html