Posted by Simcha on June 13, 2004, at 12:02:34
In reply to Re: Am I in Denial? Complete Treatment for Depress » Simcha, posted by Racer on June 13, 2004, at 9:13:47
Thanks to both of you who have replied. It really does help to hear from others who have similar histories. It's a nice reality check.
I just get frustrated at times when I speak with people, who are professionals, who act as if medication is a crutch, or a temporary necessary "evil", or as if somehow I'm misguided in believing the medication really gets at the root cause of my condition. Somehow I just know that without the medication I would be taking a great risk of having a major depressive episode that would be extremely crippling. The episodes that preceded medication were getting progressively worse. Medication is what pushed me over the edge into remission and it gave me a peek as to what it is like to live without depression for the first time in my living memory.
I also get frustrated at having to keep up with the pills, the scripts, the appointments, the insurance, the pharmacy, my doctors, and all the logistics that go with being on six medications almost daily. I also have asthma so I need these meds almost daily too. Oh, and from time to time it is necessary for me to take two more meds if my condition warrants it. It's enough to cause me considerable anxiety at times. I also always wonder what all this medicine does to my organs like, my liver, my kidneys, and other organs that may be affected.
I decide, one day at a time, that it is better to live without depression and to be able to breathe freely than to live medication free. I'm medically dependent on my medications. In our culture it is frowned upon to be dependent on anything. I have had a particularly difficult time accepting that my life necessitates dependence on medication for living well (or living at all for that matter).
Simcha
poster:Simcha
thread:356230
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040608/msgs/356284.html