Posted by shadows721 on April 6, 2004, at 17:01:00
In reply to Re: i am lost and in pain (PS), posted by wayne on April 6, 2004, at 13:09:13
Love doesn't lie, hit, play games, and keep you in limbo. This is an addictive relationship from the get go. You are mistaking physical attraction (lust) for love. You are replaying a past hurt from childhood with this woman. You don't even realize this right now. It is unconscious. You want what you can't have, but this time it will be right game. It will not ever be right. I can tell you this truth, but you are seeing this from the emotions and not the mind. Think of yourself as your own best friend and what would be the advice. Get out of the house and do something. Don't sit by that darn phone. Yes, it hurt's like bloody Hell. It will pass. You are in the worst of it. This lady is playing some heavy head games with you and she knows she owns the keys to your pressure points. Believe me. She is using them well or you wouldn't be in pain. People who truly love each other don't hit blow the belt over and over again.
Let me open your eyes a bit here. Personally, you should be ticked that this woman is playing with your emotions like a light switch. Your relationship is on then off when she chooses. Are you just going to be a toy for her pleasure? She will see you when she feels like it. She is blaming you for stricking back against her physical abuse. She is trying to make you believ her lies. Let me make myself clear - This woman is abusing you emotionally and physically. You are addicted to the drama of lets fight and have good sex game. It's a game of emotions. It's just like a drug highs and lows.
Go to a social worker and work on what's really going on here and stop this self destructive cycle. You may keepp doing this in future relationships. You are the one getting hurt here. Stand up for yourself and stop this woman from abusing you any further. Rent movies, take a drive, see family, journal - do what you must to stop this destructive relationship. You are in pain, because you are in the low of the addiction. Questions to ponder - "Why are you allowing this woman to control you?" "Why are you so attracted to this destructive relationship?" "Why are you really attracted to this particular person?" "Who do she really remind you of?"
Assignment - make a list of all her characteristics good and bad. Then, by each one see whose characteristics they are really reminding you of from your childhood. Trust me - strong attraction = a person from your past. It's called a trauma bond. It's replaying out your past with someone similiar. But, in your subconscious, you will make this relationship right this time.
Use this relationship as an education tool. This pain is directing you to look at some other pain from your past that you are refusing to face. Why? Because, it is just as painful. You may say, "No, this can't be true." Trust me, it is. This pain has all the markings of a past pain that is unresolved. You may go back to her, but keep what I am telling you in the back of your head. I am telling you the truth. I know. I've been down your road.
As for this woman, she is also playing out an abuse onto you that is not yours. She is hurting you, but she is really wanting to hit someone that hurt her from her past. This is why you two are attracted to one another. Does this sounds healthy? No, it isn't and it will never be. It would involve both people to face up to the people of their past pain to straighten this all out. Do you think both of you are willing do to all that? If you did, there would be no more drama i.e., no ups and downs anymore. There may not be this fatal attraction anymore either.
shadows721
poster:shadows721
thread:332439
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040402/msgs/333407.html