Posted by ST on April 1, 2004, at 4:58:38
In reply to Please help me... I don't know what to do..., posted by taintedangel on April 1, 2004, at 1:22:53
Wow. You are really going through quite a bit. I think we all have horror stories of when we first started seeking help for our depression. It gets better, then worse, then really worse and then when we almost give up it gets better. Don't give up! You will figure this out with the help of someone qualified. When I first got help, someone diagnosed me as bi polar, then the counselor I was seeing insisted I wasn't. Come to find out, I am bi polar, but it manifests itself so very differently in each person it affects that sometimes counselors and doctors don't recognize it - especially if that doctor is not a psychiatrist.
First off, it is of utmost importance that you see a doctor who specializes in chemical imbalances in the brain. This means a psychiatrist, not a general MD.(no campus doctors, family doctors,etc.)
A psychiatrist will be able to evaluate you and come up with a diagnosis for you (which may or may not change as he/she gets to know you better). This will be the jumping off point for you to find the right drug or combination of drugs. It can be done!
I am so sorry your mom is ignorant about depression/chemical imbalances. She loves you and wants what's best for you, but she is sadly mistaken if she thinks you are doing this for attention. It sounds as if you are really in pain. These are your feelings and they must be taken seriously, regardless of where she feels they come from.
One of the best things I ever did was arm myself with tons of information - and I didn't even have a computer when I first started figuring out what the hell was wrong with me. You can get online and find tons and tons of information about mental illness, depression, doctors, treatments, pscychiatry, counseling, etc... When you team up with a good psychiatrist, you and he/she will be able to explain to your mom what is going on.
See if you can get a reccomendation from someone for a good psychiatrist in the area. Maybe your school can do that. Or another student. The more you open up and talk about what is going on, the more you'll realize that you are not alone. More people are suffering like you than even let on.
Good luck and please keep us posted on your progress. And you you will have progress!
Sarah
> I have felt depressed for many years and just before Christmas I totally broke down so I finally told my doctor back home. He started me on Effexor 37.5 then uped it to 75. My anxiety went away but the depression still persisted. I flew back to school shortly after this so he advised me to see the campus doctor two weeks after i got back. Well within those two weeks I started getting very violent mood swings that scared everyone in my dorm- especially myself. So I went to see the campus Dr and he thought I might have bi-polar and that the effexor increased the cycling of manic and depression episodes. So he lowered the dose so I could be weaned off and start something else. Within a couple of days I went totally insane and even had to have my parents fly in from out of province to come stay with me. After seeing another campus Dr she decided i didn't have bipolar to increase effexor to even more than i had before. Within a couple of weeks I felt so much better and was doing really well. Then shortly after I took a nose dive and practiacaly went crazy again but this time I locked myself away hoping no one would notice. My mood swings aren't quite as violent but they are very odd and frequent. I spontaneously stopped going to classes and slept nearly all day long. I started feeling good the last two days but i am very, very restless and jittery and can't sleep even thogh i am exhausted. Also with the last few weeks or so- around the time the Dr uped my dose again I have had a low sex drive and have not been able to orgasm at all. All this stuff is bringing me down and i'm afraid I'm gonna flunk out of university. No one seems to understand all these things and it's frustrating cause they think I make things up or that I am a freak. My mom thinks I'm just looking for attention and this is all imaginary etc- this hurts me even more. I feel like I have nobody to talk to... I know this probably seems like a long boring story but beleive me i have shortened it significantly. Anyone who has advice for me I would be extremely grateful to
> Thanks!
poster:ST
thread:331152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040329/msgs/331177.html