Posted by headachequeen on January 31, 2004, at 17:42:11
In reply to Re: topomax » headachequeen, posted by Sad Panda on January 31, 2004, at 13:00:25
> > what is the difference between BipolarI and BipolarII ???
>
> BP1 is the classic Manic Depression.
>
> With BP2 there is little & sometimes no mania, sometimes there is extreme iritability & crankiness instead, so it can easily be confused with the various types of depression.
>
> What are your symptoms?
>
> Cheers,
> Panda.
>I am going to try and answer both Panda and Sooshi in one post here...
and probably we will all end up as confused as I...
my depression treatment started years ago as a diagnosis of Seasonal Affective Disorder because my depression that according to that wondrous psychiatrist is not a depression, always peaks in late Februaary early March. At that time I was put on some anti-depressant or other whose name I now forget... this was back in the eighties...
it did do one thing that was good, it suppressed my appetite and when I am depressed, or unhappy as so many of my acquaintances seem to view it, I go on eating binges and I have only now realised after reading information published to coincide with eating disorder week, that I was a binge eater, oh the things I am learning about myself that I really don't like---
I was losing weight on the stuff, but it was prescribed only during those winter months... January the doctor would start me on it and wrap up the treatment in April as a rule... he was good at listening and we would talk about my feelings and symptoms and I really respect his efforts
eventually he switched me to Luvox and I was using that for several years whenever the symptoms overtook me, and they often overtook me when it was not winter but no one seemed to think that this was anything out of the ordinary... he and I would talk and he would impress upon me the fact that I was not crazy as I would often insist...
it was overwork, stress, and so on...
and he would insist on helping me through it all... but then he retired and the man who bought his practice had a thing about women of a certain age...
EVERYTHING was to do with women of a certain age and I apparently fell into that age... even the tumour that had to be removed was first diagnosed as being pain that related to being a woman of a certain age so the depression I felt was also that of a woman of a certain age... he would under duress prescribe the Luvox while muttering about women of that age who wanted attention their husbands would not give them...
if I were to break a leg it would be because of my age.... so I changed doctors and the new one was fabulous...
he did not think anything had to do with the fact that I was in my forties and had everything to do with real symptoms and he did not feel that prescribing the meds in March would help; the new trend he said was to prescribe antidepressants year-round for SAD... so he did and then slowly began to change from Luvox to Wellbutrin, then added Effexor...
when I was diagnosed as being epileptic the wellbutrin had to go, so in came zyprexa... the immovane had been introduced to turn off my mind at night so I could sleep...
and by this time the SAD had been ruled out...
I have incredible highs brought about by successful creative spurts... I bring them on myself, celebratory as it were... they are not the bi-polar manic highs...
but I do have incredible lows, I become so depressed that I cannot leave my bed or my room instead I stay in the darkened room for days on end until I am able to face the world again and I do not know what triggers these spells for lack of a better word...
tears start for no reason... I can be in the middle of doing something or with people I enjoy in the midst of pleasurable activity and suddenly the tears start and the feelings of rejection and extreme loneliness and being shut off from the world set in...
I have found myself sitting on the floor in my own home rocking back and forth crying for no reason...
the list goes on and on...
a piece of music...
the smell of pipe tobacco of a particular brand...
cigar smoke...
these will send me into a total downspin toward total depression from which I cannot climb toward normal behaviour for days...
by the same token a piece of music or a certain scent or aroma or a certain accent or inflection on words can send me into such a sense of contentment and memory that I am totally at peace with the world for a while...
My manic periods are of such joy and delight with myself and my abilities... I do not do the wild spending or disappearing acts... I simply want to share the happiness of what I have accomplished with those around me...
my down periods are withdrawn and afraid and black and lonely...
those times when I do not appear to question or support are the times when I have taken to hiding from my fears or the blackness... and the past month or so there have been many such times..
my psychologist says that there is no need for years of therapy and has cut me loose, saying that I do not need him any more. If I have bad times I should call him and he will set up an appointment...
guess all the dark days are in my head and time to get over it...
wish the topomax would work for this hyomanic thing...
kat
oh and by the way...
I decided to do my own little torture test of it...
for the past couple of days I have not been taking it...
took only the tegretol and the 'tingling' in my hands and feet not only continued despite the lack of topomax it increased. Today the so-called 'tingling' was so intense in my hands that it was painful...
wondering now if the topomax somehow moderates the tingling from the tegretol...
have decided to arrange an appointment with the neuro to ask him about it and to see if he will increase the topomax and lessen the tegretol...
at times I can hardly use my hands the pain is so intense...
and without the topomax the pains in my stomach and the nausea returned full force...
so I rest my case: tegretol makes the topomax seem like a walk in the park on Sunday afternoon in the fifties...but they tell me I do not suffer from depression...
and would not benefit from psychiatric care... I needed instead a psychologist and meds...
which set me to wondering why the provincial health plan pays the psychiatrists so much money and does not recognise psychologists...
they also told me it would take years of psychotherapy to overcome not being depressed...
and then told me I could go home in a week or so...
poster:headachequeen
thread:50878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20040131/msgs/307859.html