Posted by maxx44 on November 20, 2003, at 20:50:52
i'm bipolar with refractory depression. 3 years ago i was given a trial of risperdal starting at 2mg. i immediately became incontinent, had odd flu-onset type fevers and swiftly became a zombie. i informed my phd and md of this and they looked me over, saying i seemed more stable. they ordered no blood-work, etc. so for 3 months i slept flat on my back 18 hours/day. i really felt something was terribly wrong. when i noticed i could not walk a straight line, i knew this was trouble. i decided i knew more about whatever was going on than my drs. and tapered myself off over a week. i went into a state i feel was schizophrenic---absolute terror that even 100mg of librium didn't stop. my back 'went-out', i couldn't walk without a cane. my motor functions were shot. i put myself in a hospital as suicidal ideations were increasing. a week on a firm mattress and the constant movement required resolved my back problem, but i noticed i could neither run, nor stoop---my leg muscles felt like ripping bungie cords. i foolishly felt this was simply the result of 3 month's near immobility. prior to risperdal onset i routinely bicycled up to 20 miles/day. my hospital dr. discounted my conviction that i was hit by some adverse 'atypical' event and after 20 days i was out. i found i was still over-sleeping, sometimes around the clock. i was simply too frightened to wake up. before risperdal i had daily bowel movements, now it was every 3 days---so i started a web search and ran into 'neuroleptic malignant syndrome'---a life-threatening toxic reaction in 1-2% of patients, and generaly seen in affective disorder clients starting neuroleptics. the symptoms were very similar to mine, but more severe with a 20% mortality rate. i noticed key symptoms of leg rigidity and fever. the lethargy and adhedonia persisted, and still do, years later. then in 2002 i ran into an article titled 'atypical neuroleptic syndrome', wherein it was noted that due to the weaker dopamine blockade of 'atypicals' a newer 'spectrum' view was required vs. classic NMS. i printed this and my md was surprised---never heard of it. last month i saw him and he said he had just returned from a 'shrink-meet', and several papers were presented on 'atypical NMS'. as i have significant 'muscle-wasting' from 3 years of perhaps walking around the block, he scripted dexidrene to get me moving, and i'm now walking 3-5 miles/day, but it hurts. dopamine is very important to cognitive, goal-motivational and motor skills. i have not recovered those. i am not boasting, but i have a history of founding industries, 8 figure net worth, international prestige at writing---as well as poor biz judgement, spending sprees, going broke---but i always bounced back----now? my old standby anti-ds (nardil, imipramine) do absolutely nothing---obviously my dopamine hardware was required for their efficacy. it doesn't make me feel better that this allegedly hits 2% (some say 7%) of clients. no one may call this malpractice, as my drs. were going by the book. i've a bp daughter happy and stable on zyprexa---on the other hand my oldest son (bill landreth on the net) is stable smoking pot. always refused meds. i just want 'me' back. everybody's different, but any input would be appreciated. thank you.
poster:maxx44
thread:281894
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031116/msgs/281894.html