Posted by Francesco on August 12, 2003, at 8:01:58
Today I stopped Wellbutrin (after seven days of craziness). I don't know if I did the wrong think but I didn't manage to tolerate it. I hated all the people around me and I simply couldn't wait two months. I experienced all the range of the worst sensations I have ever experienced, kind of psychotic. In the first part of the day I was very aggressive and in the second really stupid and dumb. I felt like people were very distant from me, like objects, and I writed like a 6 years old child. No sense of humour at all, it was horribile. I seriously compromised a relationship already compromised by my previous attempts to find the right med. This girl doesn't want to see me anymore and the worst thing is that I can easily understand her. Anyway. I'm looking for suggestion at the moment.
Reading your posts I could understand several things. I'm not depressed and I'm not obsessed. My main problem is adhd but I have more than a doubt about being also bipolar II and soft (hope so) borderline personality (what a bad word to say). my main syntompts are that I can't concentrate when I really want to do it and I have also some problem about deep relationships (love-hate, fear to depend and need to depend). I feel quite good when I'm with people and quite bored when I'm alone. I become stressed when I think about the things I should do and avoidance and procrastionation are my favourite strategies.
Sometimes I feel depressed thinking about my situation but it usually lasts only until I don't have a nice chat with somebody. I strongly depends on other's acceptance and support. I am quite witty and sharp but I can't do anything with it. I am very fond of with daydreaming and that's the reason why I like so much to write. I'm not anxious if I don't do what I should but rather I feel good (very strong 'don't care attitude', kind of happy nihilism).Let's talk about ADs now. Anafranil helped a lot for me but the cost was to high. Lot of weight gained, lack of sexual desire (I should rather say "sex avoidance" or "sex phobia"). I devoloped also social phobia which, as I said before, is not a problem I usually have. I became very 'snob' and mysantropist, people didn't like me at all. But I took it for so many years that I forgot it was not a problem of mine. I became anxious too and quite obsessive, and my life was sad but 'efficient'. another problem is that when I was on it I usually drank a lot to contrast my social phobia and hostility towards people. When I'm not on meds I don't find alcohol so necessary and I don't crave for it. Another 'strange' thing is that I usually feel more depressed when I'm on ADs and the depression I experience is far more worse and more 'absolute'.
Trying also Prozac with some success with AHDH but it also made me too excited and agitated (without any reasons). So I stopped it within 6 months (remember also some psychotic episode when I was on it, maybe also because I used to mix it with alcohol).
Lot of problems with Paxil (I became a potential serial killer) and Celexa (I forgot I was living).
Any suggestion ? I'm not sure about trying stims also because in Italy, where I am, they are not easily prescribed and I fear that my experience with them could be similar to the one I had with Wellbutrin.
Maybe a mood stabilizer ? Maybe only benzos ? Maybe nothing at all ? Maybe cannabis ? I just don't know. I'm 27 and sometimes I think I had experienced more mood states than a 75. Thanks
poster:Francesco
thread:250201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030812/msgs/250201.html