Posted by Mariposa on May 25, 2003, at 7:02:45
In reply to Re: Dif person lil' jimi » Okpolosi, posted by lil' jimi on May 24, 2003, at 11:44:39
> hi okpolosi,
>
> you have impressed me again ... you should be proud of yourself ... i feel soooo .......
>
> ...... HAPPY! that you are doing so well!!!!
>
>> i find this all very very encouraging and hopeful .... the inspirational thing for me is your struggle, over which you've managed to survive and grow to this point where you can be so positive and constructively analytical.
>
> i read this as you making progress .... real progress!
>
> on the one hand, you suffered your symptoms so long and on the other, you suffered such bad SEs ..... shouldn't that serve to validate that you deserve to get to feel good ?.... finally!
>
> analogy: you had been down so long you hadn't realized you'd been holding you breath ... and 'under water' (depressed) .... so that when you manage to find the surface, it's disorienting .... and when you get to break the surface and finally breathe, it seems alien, because it's so unfamiliar.
>
> so now it is almost too fantastic to imagine that that much suffering could really be gone forever .... that we could be so blessed ...... why us ?
>
> and this change is so great that that suffering person we know does not even seem to be related to this new alien breathing person .... ..
>
> hey, what's that sound? there! There it is Again! ...it's ... laughter (!) ... and it's so close! ...it's ..... coming....from ....
> ...
> .......me!
> Impossible!!!
> HA!
>
> and yes, ms okpolosi, i'd say we are rapporting here alright .....
> as you have broached your issues with your dad, you have opened me up to considering my issues with my mom ..... aye, indeed there's work to be done there ..... she died june 3rd 2002 ..... you'll likely be hearing more about this, thank you in advance for that ..... and for all of this.
>
> and, No, it has never been easy ... i guess important things never are ..... but with lex it at least seems possible now.
>
> i say we save our energy we'd waste worrying about deserving our new-found advantages, and instead use the advantages and that energy to steel ourselves for this anxiety about possible poop out ...... because worrying about our success is something which isn't rational but which we may control, whereas the risk of poop out is real, and it is rational to try to anticipate it and prepare a beneficial response ..... since we can have this much anticipation and its lead-in time and the strength and sanity to be able to prepare ....
>
> what have people done when the other ADs have pooped on them? (oo, sorry for the bad mental picture) my gp mentioned effexor, but i'd hate to go there.
> would a benzo supplement make sense? ... or maybe wellbutrin supplement? ....... i suggest these things Just in case we must see our paradise begin to melt .... never hurts to have back-up plans and the plans should help lessen the anxiety ... anxieties.
>
> Okpolosi, you're alright! you hang in there and just tough it out that we are goin to have to feel good now. Okay?
>
> more later,
> TAKE CARE!!!
> ~ jim
>
> p.s. my prayers to 2bornot2bnuts, in her time of suffering: May she find refuge from misery
> ~ jWOW!!! Are we getting better or WHAT? I too have found myself actually laughing....seems like it's been so long.....That thread about misic in the head and O-CD's just killed me, I LAUGHED so hard when I read that!!!!!
And you are so right on w/all you have said here....I should quit looking the gift horse in the mouth and just get on and RIDE!!!!! because who knows, that horse may break a leg over that next hurdle.
I guess it's just that I have been all curled up for too long, not used to being happy....so I have to look for the BAD in everything, and right now it's that dreaded "POOP OUT".......
And we just don't hear enough from long term users to aleviate those FEARS.
Anytime you want to discuss the past, family anything, I'm there for you, or anyone else. I feel obligated now to help those who have helped me, or those who are struggling to get to where we find ourselves now. I'm rambling aren't I...
Each of us has our own story, problems, issues, reasons, delusions, and I know it helps so much to realize you ARE NOT ALONE!!!
poster:Mariposa
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030525/msgs/228999.html