Posted by ayuda on January 10, 2003, at 12:03:38
In reply to Lexapro worked but still sad sometimes, posted by bozeman on January 9, 2003, at 23:27:43
bozeman --
I did about the same thing as you. As a child, I was put on tranquilizers for my anxiety, but didn't ever get a "diagnosis" of depression until the time in college that I didn't sleep for a month. I was sent to a psychiatrist, but I discounted the doctor's diagnosis -- it didn't make sense to me, I didn't FEEL depressed, I felt like a nutcase, which was different to me (now I think it was mostly anxiety, exacerbated by stress). He put me on a tricyclic, and like you, after I was sleeping fine again, I went off it.
I wasn't until 15 years later that I permitted a doctor to treat me for depression. In the meantime, my mom, a nurse, suggested repeatedly that I try Prozac, and I also stubbornly refused, saying that I didn't want to be dependent on drugs and could handle my problems my way.
In 2000, I was first put on Zoloft, and like you said, within a week, it was like I was a normal person for the first time in my life. All my life, people told me that I held onto anger too strong and too long, they would say, "let it go," and I would tell them I didn't know how. Now I understand. And like you said, now I can confront people and handle problems without the shaking and excessive angry reaction, without staying mad forever. It's like a rebirth.
My only regret is that I didn't try the medications earlier in life -- I might have held onto a relationship, instead of chasing every boyfriend away with my excessive worrying and unyielding anxiety about their every little action or word. I hate to say that my mom was right -- I should have sought treatment earlier. Though I still think that anxiety is my bigger problem than the depression, still, having both treated makes me so much happier to face each day (but like you said, not every day -- I worry about the lifelong need for meds to live a normal life, and that scares me).
So, congratulations to you for finally coming off your own stubbornness -- I know what you went through. I think that the next step in this world is for the stigma of being treated for depression to be erased -- I see so many people every day who could benefit from ADs, but people still label those of us who have sought treatment as crazy. No, we are the sane ones, for we have realized that we have a problem and are allowing ourselves to be treated. When I tell people -- which I do rather freely -- that I am on medication for depression, they ask me why I would admit that. Why wouldn't I? I tell them that I didn't ask for the chemical dysfunction that causes clinical depression, and it is something that can only be controlled through medication -- it is a physical illness. There are still a lot of people who don't know that they also need to be on these meds.
Good luck to you, too!
ayuda
poster:ayuda
thread:109458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030106/msgs/135187.html