Posted by Krysti on November 23, 2002, at 15:08:19
In reply to Re: Is there ever a normal after BP - fluffy, posted by fluffy on November 23, 2002, at 13:37:19
Hi fluffy,
You have to believe me when I tell you, this is not something you are making up. It is also not something you can control yourself. I finally believed that about the anxiety when I read somewhere on the internet about it and it said that you can not just wish it away. I think most people with anxiety and bipolar are control freaks. Most people think they should be able to control it on their own. It is just not possible. It is a chemical imbalance that needs to be treated. The good news is when you find the meds that work, you will feel so much better. I promise when that happens you will be able to look back and see that this is not something you brought on yourself or made up or could control.
Just curious, why does your doctor have you on Zoloft? Did he have you just on a mood stabilizer first and then added Zoloft later for depression? What all meds have you been on and for how long? I just went back and read your posts and it does seem that you started feeling more anxious after you upped the dose of Zoloft. That is what happened to me when I went on the Lexapro. I know what you mean about thinking it's all in your head - I was wondering the same thing when I went on the Lexapro and was started to feel more and more anxious every day. Now that I am off of it though, I feel a hundred times better and know it was not just in my head.
I am still doing very well on the Trileptal - only time will tell if it's going to last - but let me tell you, when you feel "normal", you will know. You won't be second guessing yourself like you are doing now. That is one thing I am going to try to remember next time if I don't feel right. That if I'm thinking I don't feel right, then I'm not. Learn to trust yourself and how you feel. Know that this is just a chemical imbalance and you're on a mission to find the right meds to correct it. Whatever you do, don't listen to other people tell you there is nothing wrong, that you can fix it yourself, blah blah blah. Remember, other people don't live in your body and your head and without going through it themselves, cannot possibly understand it. Stick with people who are at least supportive of you and will help you through it. And remember, we are lucky because it is treatable.
The mood stabilizer is the first key to it. Were you more on the depressed or hypomanic side before you were diagnosed? Were you on meds for your anxiety before you were diagnosed? It is very important to figure out how a specific med is making you feel. The doctor can only go by what you are telling him/her. If possible, you should keep a journal every day, write down what meds you are taking at what dose and how you feel. Then at least you will feel more in control and can see for yourself how you are reacting. It won't seem so much like it is all in your head then. The medications will have an effect, positive or negative, on your hyperness/anxiety/depression. The goal obviously is to find ones that have a positive effect. You need to trust yourself and communicate with your doctor what affect they are having. Most medications will have side effects that go away after a couple of weeks, the ones I can live with are sleepiness and nausea. If a med is making me anxious again or depressed, forget it (that is my opinion anyway). That's when I either change the dose, the med or add something else. Also, depending on your symptoms, different mood stabilizers are better than others for the anxiety. Also, some treat manic-ness better and some treat depression better.
Hang in there, things will get better. I can tell from your posts, you are a fighter : )
Krysti
poster:Krysti
thread:127130
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021122/msgs/128953.html