Posted by Eddie Sylvano on September 24, 2002, at 9:06:46
In reply to Deep sadness, posted by Guy on September 23, 2002, at 23:46:12
> Does anyone else feel a constant, deep sadness about the loss of your old self (when you were feeling well and did not have to take meds)?
---------------------------Could it be that some of the symptoms that are bothering you are casued by your medications? I remember when I first started taking Effexor. I went from being morose and anxious to being just sort of neutral, but very drugged feeling. I felt the same way you do about it (what a shitty tradeoff!), but after switching to different medications I got back some of my clear-headedness, and after a couple of years, I've learned to live without medications, and still not be morose and tired a lot of the time.
As a previous post mentioned, depression is like a mind control drug that keeps you from seeing things realistically. It takes away your hope for the future, demoralizing you. It saps your strength (so much so in me, that I initially thought I must have a terminal disease of some sort). If it's any comfort though, most people eventually do get better, and your despair is artifcial, in a way. The future holds promise, as well, with better understanding of the mechanisms behind depression, and more options for treatment.
As for mourning the loss of my previous self, it's something that I'm predisposed to do, but I try to avoid it. I've found that I'm much happier if I don't dwell on my past, but try to focus on enjoying the present.
poster:Eddie Sylvano
thread:120891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020922/msgs/120920.html