Posted by gare on May 21, 2002, at 11:12:16
In reply to how long until you felt better?, posted by sly on May 21, 2002, at 10:38:23
yes, at the beginning i asked myself the same things when i began to wonder what it would be like to jump into oncoming traffic while i was out for a jog....but i believe that was just the real me being dramatic and not really the Effexor.
i wonder when people describe feeling numb if that is somewhat similar to the zombie phase that i had experienced - basically a month of not really having motivation - desire was there but certainly there was a lack of motivation and a plethora of sleeping.
i tend to think of suicide only when i don't get my way and i have come to realize it's the little inner child who is throwing a temper tantrum and i have to somehow find a creative way to soothe him rather than indulge him in his reactions to the way things are.
i hope that you are seeing a therapist and that a psychiatrist prescribed the Effexor for you as opposed to a family practitioner, as they tend to not follow up with how you are feeling on Effexor and allow you some room to talk about your feelings.
if you do get anxious or feel that you can't stop thinking about suicide, please consider visiting your mental health services unit in your hometown or call a suicide hotline. ironically, i use to volunteer for one and it can help when you have no one else to talk to.
i hope that you can work through why you have these thoughts as opposed to just giving them more power and time to develop a progression of how, when, where, etc.
i know it sounds silly to try to stop what you are thinking, count to twenty or even one hundred very slowly, but go somewhere completely different than where you were thinking suicidally, and just breath.
i took Effexor because i couldn't escape from my racing thoughts, my anxiety rollercoaster. my mind was my worst enemy and now even though i do have a disasterous thought about every four days or so, i can control it and ask myself why am i feeling like that? what am i missing or didn't get that i could possibly fullfill myself in the moment.
then i notice it's time to bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies and curl up with my cat, Pooh, who gives me the perfect excuse to not commit suicide, as i would never want to imagine him be mistreated by anyone ever. he's the best thing in my life.
i hope you can find that one best thing in your life that will give you purpose to work through your thoughts, realize that yes they seem strong but they will only be as strong as you let them be.
the dilemma is knowing this and not being overpowered or disillusioned.
if you can, please talk to someone about your feelings.
gare
poster:gare
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020517/msgs/107158.html