Posted by Angel Girl on March 16, 2002, at 12:04:43
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!, posted by Reneeb on March 16, 2002, at 11:03:30
> Hi Angel Girl, I am so glad to hear from you!! I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now ,but as you can see there are many people here that want to help you. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are feeling. Can I ask you where you live? Maybe one of us is close by and could help.
>
> Take Care,
>
> ReneeHi Renee
I live in Toronto, Canada. I'm glad more than ever after last night that I found this forum Thank you Dr. Bob for giving us a place to help each other. I personally don't know what I would do right now without somewhere I can go where people understand me. I find the lack of understanding very frustrating. Last night I had an extremely rough night. I posted a message here, or at least I thought I had, in extreme anger. Not anger about here or anybody here but expressing my anger towards my life that continues to sprial downwards. When I think there is nothing else that could possibly go wrong, the bottom is kicked out from under me once again. Last night I found out that two of my dear and closest friends have decided to abandon me due to my severe depression. They no longer feel capable of dealing with my extremely low moods and although it is completely devastating to me, I can't really blame them. I don't like being with me either but I don't have any choice. :( I don't make it very easy on everbody. I feel like this is not me, somebody else has taken over my body and my mind. Where did "I" go???? I want "me" back. I'm tired of this new person. I haven't seen the real me since last July. I'm so incredibly sad and I'm crying. I want this all to stop. I'm so sick of this ride. I don't even know how this happened to me when I wasn't looking. And now I have this new mood of anger. This is sooooo not me. I've never been like this before. I HATE this. Why doesn't this dosage of Effexor XR work like it did when I was on it before????? I'm sooooo discouraged. I think about suicide every single day, not to the point of actually wanting to do it, but it is always there like a constant companion. I almost lost my dearest friend last night when I took my frustration out on her but thank God she knows it's not me but my illness. She understands me because her husband has been suffering for 8 years, although he is much better than he was years ago. She is my gift from God. Why can't everybody see that all I need is LOVE????? Why is that so hard for them to understand???? I've told them a million times. But I don't feel it. Maybe I don't even know what love is anymore. :(
Angel Girl
poster:Angel Girl
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020313/msgs/98304.html