Posted by Shanti on March 15, 2002, at 7:58:37
In reply to Re: ANGEL GIRL, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!! - Shanti, posted by Angel Girl on March 14, 2002, at 23:41:55
good morning angel girl and everyone else!
a beautiful day here today (Windsor, ON, CANADA) it may rain but my spirits are good so i can do it!(although when i just woke up i could feel some anger building but instead of letting it get to me i came here to my computer and saw all the replies and feel great (ps beardedlady - thanks for the compliment - that was nice - but remember it's our interacting with others that makes a "great" because if i didn't post i wouldn't have gotten the compliment!!
now angel girl - will you share the meaning of your name i bet it is beautiful
where in canada do you live?
i started these pills about 1 month ago - i was reading about all the side effects and got scared but remember (i live by this motto)THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF!
i take 75 mg so far so good i will know by next week however how effective they are because you see, i am so in tuned to my body that i can tell when my "demons" as i call them come a calling - my therapist pointed out somethng though - i try and and say it is not me because i am always happy and willing to help others until the time arrives ! then look out - every man/woman/child for themselves! but she pointed out something to me - it is still me so instead of trying to denying that part of me and push it away i need to accept that the anger, etc. as a part of me and i tell you that is very hard but i keep trying and working at it because i know one day i will actually be able to as one would say intergreate the what i call the good/thebad/the ugly!as for the twitches/jerks a lot at first not so bad now - that is why i say that affirmation - to help me along - as for the affirmation - but first remember this is my thoughts and you may totally disagree but as i like to look at life - why not try it you will never know if something works until you try and let me tell you i have tried gizzlion (as in many million) things to help me along and if you keep trying and don't give up you can do it to.
the book i got the affirmation from is by Louise L. Hay - You can heal your life - angel girl - go ckeck your library for it - if it's not there i would like to somehow get you a copy - this is my third copy the other two i lent out and never got back but that's ok if these people eventually read it wonderful if not i think it is their loss my book is so tattered but to me that means it is well read and well used - when my daughter was born she started with breathing problems i looked up asthma in children and guess what - it is a fear of life - therefore, i say that affermation and low and behold her breathing is better and i found out (to me) that it was because she was afraid of life and think about it coming out of a safe warm place into my world of chaos (moving/depression, etc) funny because whenever i say it to her before her naps she falls asleep contently!
do you like to read angel girl, if so go to the library or book store stand in front of the self help section for a little bit and before you know it you will be drawn to some book that will help you - this is what i do and i always seem to find the right book at the right time of my life!
For me to get through this i do a lot of mental work (i believe that is actually one of my problems (or is it one of my strengths? - i think too much (just look at how much i write and trust me i could go on and on!!!!)anyway, for me once again, i do a lot of mental work and that really helps - i found that you truly have to look deep inside your self first (it's quite a ride when you do this because you will bring up a lot of past hurts, behaviours etc but you know what you have to do this to get better and remember when you bring them up a lot will be due to your upbringing but don't blame whomever because they probably didn't know what to do) and also, the first 5 years of your life is what shapes the basis of your being or foundation for me it was a mother who selpt with men when her husband was away (would bring men into the house and lock us in our room while she had sex)/ then left her family for booze, drugs, rock and roll (i'm being kind!) we then went to live in foster homes, etc. so as you can see my upbringing sucked but after 28 years i sought help and i am here today to write about it and enjoy my life - i refuse to repeat the same experiences with my children as i experienced - and that is very hard to overcome when you are talking about chaning your very foundation but it can be done trust me!
while my son wants the computer so i have to leave but i will leave you with one thought/request.
my goal is not to return to work in Oct. but instead to stay home and raise my children you see i am not afraid anymore (going back to when i was a child) and i can do it so instead of going to work to get away from the responsibility of raising them/ with the birth of my daughter i discouvered that i can be a good mom and raise my children even though i don't have the "tools" like most other people (my foundation) soooo, dear friends like i said last night about 1 person represnts 10-100 for those out there who want to cheer me on please think good thoughts so that i may stay home and raise my children the way i believe life should be.
peace,
shanti
poster:Shanti
thread:13781
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020313/msgs/98128.html