Posted by PuraVida on June 13, 2001, at 13:57:41
In reply to Re: running out of options, posted by krista on June 10, 2001, at 17:40:37
Hi Krista,
I noticed your post, and wanted to respond, though I don't know how much help I'll be. A lot of people on this board are struggling to get their meds right, but I think on the other "social" board there is probably more support emotionally from folks that have or are dealing with thier depression better than I am right now.
I, too, suspect I've had depressive tendencies since I was 5. I used to cry and cry, and have physical stomach pain every morning, even though I really did love my school. Same thing has reoccurred in my life, I've been through many, many jobs, relationships, etc. When I am really depressed, I see only the what-ifs - how I could have done better, what "should" be, "if only this, or that." When I think this way I KNOW I'm depressed. I can say this now because, right now, I'm not, but I have been in and out of it enough to know that those thoughts are NOT rational. Life is NOT that hard, it is the depression making you think so. You've survived this far, and I'm sure you've had some wonderful times somewhere in your life, under all the gloom.
My goal, at the moment, is to accept that I am sick, and that like all of the other sick people in the world, I can do my best with what life has dished out. If that means lying in bed till noon, I try to be easier on myself than a "normal" person, because to be hard on myself with "shoulds" will only get me more depressed. I think everyone in the world has some sort of challenge in their lives - really, no one is "normal"
What kinds of meds are you on? I've found some success with alternative methods, in addition to the meds - mainly cognitive therapy, doing volunteer work, getting a hobby and taking care of myself physically. I'd be happy to share.
> > Andrew,
>
> I feel the same way, I have been depressed since I ws 5. Barely made it out od school. Have never been able to hold a job.
> I also have the same feelings toward life and the world as you do. I wish I could be more postive about things.
> Antidepressants help a little to curb the depression, but I still feel it. I used to lie there in bed everyday for hours staring at the celing
> in almost physical pain from the depression. It's the worst feeling in the worls, you feel like death wont even take away the pain.. You scream and cry
> but it doesn't go away. I have tried lots and lots of antidepressants and none
> allow me to lead a normal life. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't live in this world without being able to support myself. I feel that this world is too hard for sick people
>
> krista
poster:PuraVida
thread:53933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20010612/msgs/66337.html