Posted by shar on July 18, 2000, at 16:39:30
In reply to Re: WHY???????(long), posted by noa on July 18, 2000, at 15:26:08
I agree with Noa. The trauma you experienced is still affecting your life, and still needs to be addressed in some way. Wrapped up in the awful guilt you said you sometimes felt, is the pure grief you probably experience at losing your dad.
Those are very powerful forces to be reckoned with! I encourage you to be proud of yourself and acknowledge your progress, and the courage it takes to work at these issues.
I've been in therapy a long time, lost my dad at 14 and that has always been one of the central issues I have to work on. I felt my heart was broken, really broken. I've made progress. It will take as long as it takes, and there is no shame in taking as long as it takes. I am in therapy now (again), and may just always be sort of in and out with it.
I hope you will not feel badly anymore about it taking so "long." You've probably heard therapy compared to the layers of an onion--you get one issue worked out and find out there is another beneath it. Maybe you will have a really little onion! (I think mine is as big as my car!)
Good luck to you! You have my admiration for facing this head on and doing something about it which will improve your life.
Shar
> One of the ways to deal with trauma is to talk about what happened. Sometimes, talking about it over and over and over. Somehow, the words can help build power over the feelings that have been locked up inside.
>
> But if it is retraumatizing you to talk about it, tell your doctor how you feel. Talk about the experience of talking about what happened. That is important, too.
>
> Keep us posted.
poster:shar
thread:40608
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000717/msgs/40876.html