Posted by Noa on July 12, 2000, at 15:18:57
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced? » Dona, posted by Kath on July 8, 2000, at 19:03:14
I had a previous post that seems to have gotten lost.
Dona, you are dealing with so much at once. Major losses, and a major surgery to recuperate from.
I can pretty much date my total depressive paralysis to when I had knee surgery over 5 years ago. It was much less invasive than yours, just removal of a torn miniscus. But it immobilized me. I had already been somewhat immobilized by the injury and then 2 reinjuries, and hadn't really gotten over it. After the surgery, I became phobic about exercising because the last time I had reinjured it was during my first day back at exercising after recovering from the previous reinjury.
So, I became very sedentary, and this added to my depression. In addition, being sedentary caused me to put on weight. The additional weight contributed to my developing sleep apnea, which really exacerbated the depression because I was almost completely deprived of REM sleep, and also had oxygen desaturation. Meanwhile, I believe this is about the time my hypothyroid got worse,
All of these things seem to feed on each other and make things worse. I then became refractory to my AD treatment, and started the "quest" for the right med combos.
Anyway, since you have been under such extreme stress, I think this isn't the time to "evaluate" your total ten year battle with depression. Isn't it likely that right now, your view of how hopeful/hopeless is your prognosis would be highly colored by your current situation, which is so heavily laden with stress and loss?
What supports do you have in your life? Now is the time to access whatever support you can. This place is good, but you also need supports in person, too.
Are you satisfied with the rehab services you are getting for your knee replacement? Might they have any emotional support services for people rehabing from this kind of surgery?
Finally, I must mention the endocrine thing. If you have had a refractory depression, it isn't a bad idea to see a good endocrinologist and check into thryoid or other possible contributing factors. You can get recs for good endos at the following site:
http://thyroid.about.com/health/thyroid/library/weekly/bldoc1.htm
Good luck. And, keep in touch here. The support can be great.
poster:Noa
thread:39712
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000708/msgs/40199.html