Posted by kerry B on June 29, 2000, at 23:26:54
In reply to Re: Rick E, How come?, posted by Rick E. on June 29, 2000, at 22:34:24
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> >
> > Sorry Rick!!!!!
> > I went into your reply the other day and my computer must have made the error!!!! It came up with some medical site and I thought you must have thought it would be good for me to look at!!!!Sorry!!!! My mistake!!!!!!! I actually just checked your reply to re:schizoaffective and found it. Thanks for your nice words. No, I don't look up too much stuff on the net as I know it's not good to do that, As for the doctor, he hasn't even made a follow-up appointment to see me, as a matter of fact no-one has so I feel like I'm in limbo. I developed this illness a couple of years ago and thought a few times I was on top of it but every time I come crashing down again, this time in a bad way, it's like at the very beginning. I had the psychosis back, the moods and all the rest and I just feel bad about it because of what it puts my family through but there is nothing I can do about it. I do try to get through each day, as long as I'm left alone without anyone nagging at me, I feel more comfortable and if I don't have to go out anywhere, that's great. I don't think I can talk to the doctor, I feel he is out of date so to speak, one heck of a nasty old man with no time. Anyway, thanks again, I will carry on the best I can in the situation and try to believe it is just temporary and you are not ignorant!!!! By no means!!!!!!!!!
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> Kerry,
>
> ***WHEW***
> I was really worried that I had done something wrong there...glad to hear it was just an accident. I understand, I think, the feelings you have about putting your family through this, something that someone said to me once has helped me tremendously (in addition to a VERY supportive mother and girlfriend)...
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> What you are afflicted with is very much a DISEASE, in the same category as CANCER...and you and your family really must come to that understanding. First of all, you did not wish this on yourself, any more than anyone would honestly wish cancer on themselves...having survived cancer, I am sure of this. Would your family have to make adjustments in their lives if you had cancer? You bet they would. And you might still feel somewhat guilty, but for many reasons in this world, mental health is seen as a sign of weakness...but it is not in any way that. No more than a cancer victim is considered weak. Yes, it is unfortunate that bad things happen to good people...I wish, like you, that I could just have a couple days in a row where I just felt like a human being again with real emotions...but sometimes sacrifices have to be made in life, they're not easy, for sure, but nevertheless necessary.
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> I lost my leg when I was a young boy, and I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that it had NOTHING to do with the way I lived my life at 8 years old, nor was it a sign of any weakness that I got cancer. Now, at 30, I have developed this depressive/anxiety state, as well as some probable other undiagnosed conditions.
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> I guess what I am trying to say here are words of encouragement. Maybe it is not temporary, who can say for sure. I know my leg is gone forever, and for that reason, I was forced to accept that fact. My mental health situation, however, may be temporary and may not be. I am just now preparing myself to deal with that fact. Try to relax, as difficult as that can be at times, and just know that you are an individual person, unlike any other, and to compare yourself and your life to any other is an unjustice to yourself. Hopefully, with the right medications, you can feel good again. Maybe it won't be as good as you once felt. In any case, carry on...be as positive as you can...fight mentally the disease...take care of yourself, don't beat yourself up for something that you certainly did not ask for. And hopefully, when your family sees that you are trying to remain positive and beat this disease, they will understand during those times when you feel down and find it hard to remain positive.
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> I wish I could offer more medical type advice to you, but I just don't have the knowledge...I am pretty new to all this myself. There are a lot of people on this board that do seem to have an intense understanding of meds tho, so the more info that you can provide them with, I think the more help they will be able to give you there.
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> Good luck and God Bless...
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> Rick E.
Hi Rick,
Just another note of thanks. You are really an inspiration to me after all that you've been through, wow, you are so positive. I learnt a lot from this last message! It's true, we can't change what we're dealt out so we do have to live with it the best we can and having support as you did, helps. I got onto the health team today and there was quite alot of confusion as to why I had no follow-up appointments or support so I have to wait until after the week-end for something to happen. I go to work on Sunday so that keeps my mind in some sort of order which is a good distraction. Anyway I shall survive!!!
Thanks so much again and may God bless you......
Kerry
poster:kerry B
thread:38609
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000619/msgs/38789.html