Posted by cjb on June 3, 2000, at 15:51:55
In reply to Re: effexor,ritilan and children, posted by Sara T on May 28, 2000, at 17:10:23
> > I love my boys to death and I also hate them at times that it hurts and I seem to stay in confusion when trying to do whats right and best and finding someone who I can trust to tell me what might be right or best.
> > Thanks, I will check out the sight you listed.
> > cjb
>
> Oh Cjb,
> I know where you're coming from. I look at my son and I wonder "what if?" He's so near normal, it is hard to see him when he regresses and his disability shows itself. It is hard to know if what you're doing is right. What other routes have you investigated? Is your child in therapy to improve his self esteem? One woman I know has 2 sons with ADHD and they have done extensive family counseling.
> After all, it doesn't just effect him, it effects the whole family.
>
Yes, we have been through counseling we have had behaviour modification suggested. I was strongly interested in the 1-2-3 Magic and still am but it just does not apply to my two boys. It doesn't matter what I take away what type of punishment I give and enforce they both have anger levels that causes their adreniline to reach a high so fast that nothing else matters at the moments that they are mad.
With counseling, it seems that since I divorced their father when one was 4 1/2 and the other 2 1/2 that that becomes the first focus of attention as to what might be wrong. And I think to some point it is a factor but a very small point. My oldest son who is will be 11 in one week has had more counseling than my youngest but they all seem to think he's okay or alittle depressed from the divorce- which at the same time forced me to leave to go to work full time and we moved out of the childrens home and my sons cousin was killed by a school bus that ran over him---all of this happened within 6 months and it wasn't long after I began looking for counseling for my son but I don't feel like I have found someone that is really trying to do anything.
I can start rambling on and on and jump from one thing to the next when I am trying to talk about life with my boys. All I know is that they are not easy boys to raise and that their actions are not because I'm not doing things right----it may get so tough and so depressing at times that I might question my parenting abilities but deep down I know there is more to it than that and that I have to keep searching for what might help them and me.I want them to have a happy childhood and develop into happy healthy confident adults and I will always keep trying to achieve this goal.
I have not started my youngest on the effexor yet and am not sure I will. If I do I will do it before school starts again so that he is here with me and I can monitor how it is truly effecting him throughout the days. My oldest is not on anything right now and we still have our up and down days but its summer and that has eliminated some of the things that would cause arguements between us and cause his anger outbursts to occur. And we will keep going one day at a time.
cjb
>
poster:cjb
thread:34720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000603/msgs/35884.html