Posted by finelinebob on August 26, 2006, at 17:42:28
In reply to Re: NOA!!! =^), posted by Noa on August 26, 2006, at 13:10:37
> I think I started healing and stopped being terrified of and on constant vigilance against my 'beast' when I stopped trying to make it disappear altogether and accepted that 'it' is part of me.
>
> But our beasts are different--your beast is definitely trickier to deal with. But it sounds like you have developed the support contingencies you need.Well, that's the problem with the Beast. It ain't singular.
The Beast I was born with? I'm trying to get it to sit, stay, lie down, rollover, play dead. If you gotta live with it, might as well make it a companion -- contentious, for sure, but as tame as possible and see if you can find some value, joy, amusement, whatever with it. I decided I don't want to be normal, if being normal means giving up my Beast. I couldn't be the person I am today without it -- I'm not so sure I could have reached where I am from a purely "healthy" path.
This other Beast is an intruder and is definitely NOT welcome in my life. It will leave its clawmarks on my soul forever, but I **will** exterminate it. Whatever level of Hell it came from, I'm gone to send it back several levels deeper and see how it likes that medicine.
poster:finelinebob
thread:677313
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20050828/msgs/680331.html