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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by susan47 on August 10, 2006, at 19:25:24
It has to absolutely has to come full circle, now.
Because I have to say it.
Something.
The something is, that I sdhould have been allowed to tell him how much I loved him without feeling like that would end the relationship. Somehow I felt as soon as I said it, things would go wrong, badly wrong. Which is, of course, exactly what happened. Now I need this one thing.
I need this and I believe
that You will give this to me ...
and I will not allow myself to believe
that an institution, an entire institution,
is observing, making notes, diagnoses, plans
horrible bewitching bedevilling beguiling .. bewildering plans
for a future in which I will not exist.
Posted by Joan797 on August 15, 2006, at 6:36:15
In reply to Full Circle, posted by susan47 on August 10, 2006, at 19:25:24
Justification or validity to our feelings? Or is it that we simply crave acknowledgement of them? Somehow I keep thinking that if I tell someone how badly they have hurt me, they will in turn feel bad and appologize to me and of course we will become so much closer for it. Which is in all reality the biggest pile of b*llshit around.
Telling him you love him and not being scorned for it is exactly what you deserved, but in your t-patient relationship it was a sticky situation that I don't think he handled well. Could he not have taken that information and worked with you on it instead of totally shunning you into some sort of humiliation?
Posted by susan47 on August 15, 2006, at 20:45:38
In reply to Re: Full Circle » susan47, posted by Joan797 on August 15, 2006, at 6:36:15
Well, perhaps not. Perhaps I heard things differently than they were voiced, differently than they were meant. Because after all, I was the patient, and I was quite emotionally invested in this "relationship", and therefore, sometimes I may have been a bit off-my-rocker. Which is why I ended up coming to B-land. Because I was completely off my rocker at that point.
And remained there, for quite a long time. A long, long time but not as long as some, I'm sure, and over my infatuation with myself and my ex-T, and my pain over being such a jerk he had to be an *sshole back, right to the very bitter end, he seems to have been a bit of a schmuck but who could blame him? Who in Real Life, could blame him? Certainly not me.
I'm not in any kind of position to criticize or judge anyone.
Not really.
I didn't know the rules of the game.
I tried to play this Game, Doctor please I know you can help make me better, but I didn't bother to check into the rules.
And once I knew them,
I refused to follow the rules.
Rules were meant to be broken.
Change doesn't come when you live within the rules.
Life isn't like that.
Not for everyone.
Not for me.
(((Joan))) Selfish hugging you, it's only because I want one back
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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