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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Joan797 on August 7, 2006, at 22:57:58
My nightly routine in which I avoid all physical contact from my husband by pretending to be deeply involved so I don't have to go to the bedroom.
Posted by susan47 on August 7, 2006, at 23:29:30
In reply to Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie, posted by Joan797 on August 7, 2006, at 22:57:58
> My nightly routine in which I avoid all physical contact from my husband by pretending to be deeply involved so I don't have to go to the bedroom.
>
I used to go to bed earlier than him and pretend to be asleep. It's a terrible way to feel about the man you pledged to live your life with. It's not right. It's a violation of your true self every time you allow him to have sex with your body, and soon that's all it is. Because love is not about sex, love is not about validating DH. Love is about him knowing how to build your trust in him. My DH never knew or cared how to do that. His efforts all came from superficialities which he'd been taught and he just didn't want to see anything else. I was always a stranger to him. Always. And it was always, always always, somehow, my deficiency, my fault which caused this rift in our relationship.
So I grew to hate him.
Rightfully so.
Unfortunately.
And having sex with him,
made me sick, every single time I would
get physical symptoms, my body talking back to me,
now isn't that sick? That's sick.
My body rebelling.
Hurting and oozing in ways that it shouldn't.
Because there was no trust.
His love, Joan, was a needy love.
It was my job to validate him.
As a man.
And soon, that man made me sick.
Posted by Joan797 on August 9, 2006, at 6:31:10
In reply to Re: Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie, posted by susan47 on August 7, 2006, at 23:29:30
I've also pretended to be asleep as well.
Part of my lack of feelings for him has developed over time. I am losing respect for him daily. Last night I received a call and was informed of yet another case of his lies and gossip hurting someone I know. I hate to be associated with that. He has some medical problems but refuses to go get any help. He would prefer to sit and complain about them. When I voice this, he states that I don't care. It's the constant mind f*cks, I just can't take the mind f*cks anymore.
Posted by ElaineM on August 10, 2006, at 13:00:01
In reply to Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie, posted by Joan797 on August 7, 2006, at 22:57:58
> My nightly routine in which I avoid all physical contact from my husband by pretending to be deeply involved so I don't have to go to the bedroom.
>
>My daily routine in which I try and make myself forget that I both have no one to make physical contact with, while fearing the idea of that ever changing.
Sadness -- similar but different.
Your posts (or at least the topic) make me think of the song "Better Man" in a way. Is it weird that I can empathize without ever ending up with a husband myself?
Posted by susan47 on August 11, 2006, at 19:11:59
In reply to Re: Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie » susan47, posted by Joan797 on August 9, 2006, at 6:31:10
> I've also pretended to be asleep as well.
>
> Part of my lack of feelings for him has developed over time. I am losing respect for him daily. Last night I received a call and was informed of yet another case of his lies and gossip hurting someone I know. I hate to be associated with that. He has some medical problems but refuses to go get any help. He would prefer to sit and complain about them. When I voice this, he states that I don't care. It's the constant mind f*cks, I just can't take the mind f*cks anymore.Lately I dated a guy so much like this man you married, and yes, I was also married and the daughter of etc, you know, it's just so incredible to believe that men have dirty mouths. Really. Really dirty mouths, dirty minds, egocentric thoughts. It's all always about them. And they Never See It. That is what is so amazing about the whole f*cking thing, the most amazing, incredible part of all of this, is that when we ask the f*ckers to grow up and learn to cry .. they hate it. They won't do it. Until you break their f*cking heart, and then baby, it's all your fault. You're the crazy bitch who's coming between me and Happiness.
I hate the f*ckers.
See?
See how strong I feel about this? About the woman who was my mother, now caretaking not only my sick old man, the DF, but now also doing the same to my ex-DH, who is so alike and so blind in so many f*cking ways, and if he is finally growing up, good-for-f*cking-him and his new Soulmate. I owed this woman something from a previous life. And I owed this ex-DH, as well. And his children. I owed them all and now, Baby, it's pay-back time. I get to pay my karmic debts.I should feel as lucky as I am.
Posted by Joan797 on August 15, 2006, at 6:30:50
In reply to Re: Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie, posted by susan47 on August 11, 2006, at 19:11:59
I can't believe the gender police haven't eaten us alive for this thread.
Posted by susan47 on August 15, 2006, at 20:39:18
In reply to Re: Popcorn, Wine, The Couch, and A Movie, posted by Joan797 on August 15, 2006, at 6:30:50
Well don't bring any more attention to it and maybe they'll all stay where they won't understand and don't belong.
Because it isn't about gender, not really.
And when it isn't about you, there's no reason to be upset.
Not really.
This is the end of the thread.
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