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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2008, at 0:00:44
Can you settle a friendly argument a person says to need someone is bad and that to want them is better. Not just a person all things. I say need as I need $l00 is stronger than I want $l00. What do you think or would you say? Love Phillipa
Posted by Daisym on January 30, 2008, at 13:37:29
In reply to Want or Need Which Word Is Better?, posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2008, at 0:00:44
I'd say neither is "better." Need implies must have - I need air. Want implies would be nice - I want a donut. The words have different definitions so it is hard to judge which is better. If we only get what we need, life is dull. If we get everything we want but not what we need, life is dangerous.
I struggle with deciding when to apply each of these. Do I *want* those shoes...or do I *NEED* those shoes...?
Posted by Racer on January 30, 2008, at 17:11:14
In reply to Re: Want or Need Which Word Is Better?, posted by Daisym on January 30, 2008, at 13:37:29
> Do I *want* those shoes...or do I *NEED* those shoes...?
Honey, you *know* you *NEED* those shoes!
(I agree, it depends -- I think the secret might be finding the right balance of having what you need and what you want. I need food, shelter, sleep -- much as I hate to admit it, I *need* medications -- but if my life were limited to those needs, I'd be pretty sunk. I want many things, some of which I think I am better off without.)
(The one thing I am more inclined towards absolutes on, though, are people -- I think I do need my husband, because without him, I'm not sure I could survive in my current state. That's something I figure I'm working on in therapy, and I very much hope that someday I get to where I want to be with him: *wanting* him, rather than *needing* him. *Needing* someone puts pressure on them, *wanting* someone is more satisfying and more flattering to the other person. Does that make sense?)
Posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:04:57
In reply to Want or Need Which Word Is Better?, posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2008, at 0:00:44
I don't know that either is better. But I think people are generally happier if something isn't essential to them.
That being said, I quite like needing people. And I sort of like when people need me. Remember that pang the first time your kid made his/her own lunch, or any of the other multitude of times that they take steps towards needing us less? We're so happy for them, but there's a sadness to not being needed too.
Posted by Kath on January 30, 2008, at 20:50:05
In reply to Re: Want or Need Which Word Is Better? » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:04:57
I guess it depends on each situation.
I'd rather 'want' someone than 'need' someone.
With my ex I 'needed' him in order to feel okay about myself. THAT was not good.Kath
Posted by Sigismund on January 31, 2008, at 1:19:22
In reply to Want or Need Which Word Is Better?, posted by Phillipa on January 30, 2008, at 0:00:44
It's difficult these days, PJ.
We're not supposed to be needy.
And in some parts of the world we are encouraged to express ourselves, which means want's OK.
But I'm with you. I prefer need.
Posted by Sigismund on January 31, 2008, at 1:20:56
In reply to Re: Want or Need Which Word Is Better? » Phillipa, posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:04:57
Want can mean lack.
Posted by caraher on February 2, 2008, at 8:29:15
In reply to Re: Want or Need Which Word Is Better? » Dinah, posted by Kath on January 30, 2008, at 20:50:05
On some level these words are interchangeable, and as Sigismund points out "want" can indicate lack of something. But I think in most of my everyday speech I use "want" to indicate the lack of something desirable but perhaps not essential, while "need" generally implies that dire consequences (for me) accompany that lack.
This is the end of the thread.
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