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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 15, 2008, at 20:47:47
I've...well..(geezz...I can't even start a bloody sentence properly..!..okay....enough of that...that is my 'negative' voice dictating to me.) I feel so small, irrelevant, meaningless. The ones I work with, they sit there and cut down almost any and every political belief or value I have. They are totally insensitive..."tell" me like it is, never ask. Maybe this is the Dexedrine, and I should stop. Continue to be Born Loser with women. They are repulsed by me. I am losing 38 years of faith, fast. I have little use for this uncaring world. How many times has that been said?? "Sick" people tell me I shouldn't care so much for people, stop being such a "bleeding heart" and a "liberal" or a "socialist" they say to me. But, that is who I am....and for the record 'liberals' are not 'socialists'!! They are two distinct categories. I fall between them. And I am darn proud of it. Just tired of feeling like I am being persecuted for it because we live in a so-called 'capitalist' society. Tired, rundown, repeat....repeat.....repeat.....repeat....I can barely stay awake for more then 10 hours!
Okay....sorry for the rant. I am trying so hard. It's harder as you go along...not like when you are (or what I thought it was like when I was) 23 and think you have all the answers, or at least have a chance. If you really do care....it all starts to grind you down pretty bad after awhile.
I am kicking VERY hard at that darkness, and I hope it bleeds daylight soon!
<sigh>Jay
p.s. I still have all of your suggestions, book ideas and comments by my side. Still trying to figure which way is up. Thanks....Jay
Posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2008, at 22:43:54
In reply to Unimportant and small..., posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 15, 2008, at 20:47:47
Jay try 61 pathetic and I'm no better off than you can't even work. Phillipa coward But Jay you are half my age and a delightful person you will make it I know you will.
Posted by karen_kay on January 16, 2008, at 9:27:58
In reply to Unimportant and small..., posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 15, 2008, at 20:47:47
i'm sorry you're feeling this way, jay. don't let that negative self-talk get to you. you're a very important person and don't ever let anyone (including your own brain) tell you different!!!
you know, i've got a really good feeling about this year. hang in there, if that's all you can do for now. and when you feel more up to it, stop just holding on and push out of this hole (i hope that doesn't offend you hun!) you're in dear.
don't forget, there are many people who care about you. and i know one very importnat person who cares about you a whole lot (hey, i'm talking about myself!!!). just because your views are different than others, accept that you are right and they are wrong (that's what i do :) and don't let anyone change yoru mind (unless of course you decide your view is worth changing).
you're very important, worthy and you've been through a hell of a lot!!! that takes strength and courage, 2 of the most attractive features a person could ever hope to have!
please take very good care of yourself jay. you deserve it!
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 16, 2008, at 17:34:29
In reply to Re: Unimportant and small... » Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe, posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2008, at 22:43:54
> Jay try 61 pathetic and I'm no better off than you can't even work. Phillipa coward But Jay you are half my age and a delightful person you will make it I know you will.
>
>Ohhhh Phillipa...my DEAR, you are FAR from 'pathetic'....you are one of the kindest and sweetest persons on these boards. I see you supporting people every day in so many ways, I think you deserve an award or something for it!
It's a new day today, and I've had the chance to sleep awhile, as I have the day off work. Sometimes a good sleep helps. I probably wouldn't be working if I didn't 'luck out' into the job I have. If you had the same chance, you'd probably be working too, but so many jobs are just not worth the pain and hassle. Even on meds, when I am feeling more stable, I couldn't do it.
I am also having some 'challenges', hah, with some new meds. Having diabetes in the middle of it all makes it difficult too, because blood sugar levels sometimes go whacky no matter what med, and even just a few points can cause some concern.
So, hang on tight there dear.....
Best,
Jay (trying to put on his bravest face, but it doesn't usually work!)
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 16, 2008, at 17:53:12
In reply to important! » Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe, posted by karen_kay on January 16, 2008, at 9:27:58
> i'm sorry you're feeling this way, jay. don't let that negative self-talk get to you. you're a very important person and don't ever let anyone (including your own brain) tell you different!!!
>
> you know, i've got a really good feeling about this year. hang in there, if that's all you can do for now. and when you feel more up to it, stop just holding on and push out of this hole (i hope that doesn't offend you hun!) you're in dear.
>
> don't forget, there are many people who care about you. and i know one very importnat person who cares about you a whole lot (hey, i'm talking about myself!!!). just because your views are different than others, accept that you are right and they are wrong (that's what i do :) and don't let anyone change yoru mind (unless of course you decide your view is worth changing).
>
> you're very important, worthy and you've been through a hell of a lot!!! that takes strength and courage, 2 of the most attractive features a person could ever hope to have!
>
> please take very good care of yourself jay. you deserve it!
>
>Thank you Mrs. KK. I like your advice....as I read the same thing when I was going through a HELL years ago, reeling from some personal loses. "I'll just hang around until something comes up...I guess.." is what I remember writing. It's so hard to do, especially when the mental part actually feels 'physical'.
Well, I hope it IS a good year for you indeed. I hope it is for all of us. About the political stuff I wrote...my real point being was that, especially in my workplace, I was feeling oppressed from saying what I felt. I think we all hate that.
Thanks again dear, and please take good care, okay? You TOO deserve it...;-)
Best,
Jay :)
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2008, at 18:59:24
In reply to Re: Unimportant and small... » Phillipa, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on January 16, 2008, at 17:34:29
Jay you are a gem understand the diabetes too. It affects or can affect mood too. And always being cautious about eating is stressful too. You will make it I know you will. If you don' t have my address feel free to babble okay? Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on January 17, 2008, at 15:55:06
In reply to Unimportant and small..., posted by Jay_BrAvEsT_FaCe on January 15, 2008, at 20:47:47
Still here for you. Proud of you for keeping on, when it's so hard.
If we'd get a little bit of sunshine happening it'd go a long way to helping moods I think.
luv, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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