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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 28. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
The other day at work, my dad felt faint and had trouble speaking. They took him to the hospital and it turns out he had a small stroke.
After tests, he will need to have surgery on an aterry in his neck. I am scared as I am sure he is too. I am also scared for my mother who depends on him for everything.
One of my 2 brothers is supportive, yet my the other one somehow manged to make an argument out of the situation.
I live about 2 hours away, but I want to be able to help him.
Thanks for listening.Linkadge
Posted by ClearSkies on January 12, 2007, at 12:11:38
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
Link, I hope that he makes a quick recovery. It's very good that he was taken straight to the hospital for treatment, I understand that that is instrumental.
Unfortunately, I'm all too aware of how illness in a family doesn't always bring everyone together. I see it all to often with my own family.
I'm sending healing wishes for your dad. Please keep us informed on how he's doing, OK?
ClearSkies
Posted by corafree on January 12, 2007, at 12:16:39
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
I'm so sorry L.
All of the 'who's gonna be caregiver' thoughts ..??.. I understand this so well.
I was, I was, and I was once more. It's very hard. There R two kinds of people. I was that one. Oh ... I probably still am.
I hope your Dad is ok and your Mother too.
Do your best. Thinking of U all.
cf
Posted by dessbee on January 12, 2007, at 12:41:11
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
Hi Linkadge
I am sorry to hear about what happened to your dad. My thoughts goes out to your family and I hope your dad will get well soon.
Take care
dessbee
Posted by happykat on January 12, 2007, at 13:11:08
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
linkadge,
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I'm glad he got to the hospital soon after and that the docs have figured out what's causing it. I hope the surgery goes well and will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
It's really tough having a family member that makes things harder than they already are. There seems to be one in every family. :(
Take care.
Regards,
happykat
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 14:24:14
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared » linkadge, posted by happykat on January 12, 2007, at 13:11:08
He's always been Mr. Invincible to me. I knew something like this would enivitably happen, but It still hit me hard. He could have died.
He's always kept everything bottled inside. My mother was the sick one, so he just assumed the "well" role.
It still seems so unreal.
Linkadge
Posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 14:41:48
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared » linkadge, posted by happykat on January 12, 2007, at 13:11:08
Wow, not sure what to say other than I hope everything turns out alright. My elderly dad had a heart attack a few years ago. It didn't look good, but now he's alright with medications, frequent check-ups, and and a physical therapy program. Scary stuff.
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 14:51:13
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 14:41:48
He's only 58. I am just friegtened for his emotional health. If that happened to me, I would have a tendancy to become very depressed. I don't know how I can keep his spirits up.
Linkadge
Posted by Gee on January 12, 2007, at 15:38:16
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 14:51:13
Wow Link, sounds like it's a pretty intence time for you. For some people, stress makes them stonger and others it just tears them apart. Or your dad may be falling apart inside be pretending on the outside?
How are you doing with it?
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2007, at 16:39:57
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
It sounds like they did everything right, and that they found out about a problem that needs tending because of this stroke. I'm sure he is scared, but I've known a few people who had that surgery quite successfully. And it's waaay better that they found out this way than if it had continued to get worse.
I'm glad he's in good hands, and I'm sending positive thoughts his way and yours.
Stress does bring out conflict as well as togetherness in a family. :(
Posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 16:42:00
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
Link did they give him clot busters? I'm here for you very scarey. And you have my e-mail Love Phillipa hand on will you go there?
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 16:50:03
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared » linkadge, posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 16:42:00
Right now hes on blood pressure meds and cholesterol meds, they just added low dose asprin.
I know he's scared because to see a formerly non health contious person become very health contious is kindof scarry.
He's had a really sh*tty life dealing with my mother, so I was hoping he would retire well.
I hope he sees at least a few more good days.
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 17:04:24
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 16:50:03
Link is he moving and speaking? Or weakness on one side? And are they still planning surgery or meds for now? I have a feeling he will be okay. Even if it surgery a carotid enarectomy is not that dangerous anymore. Love Phillipa
Posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 17:34:00
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 16:50:03
I hope so too.One always hears things like an older person is set in his or her ways, but my dad transformed his health habits after his heart attack, and is doing alright now. Joined a "cardio club", eats better, relaxes more... In a way, his crisis forced him to re-assess a lot of habits that were causing him trouble and grief. Hopefully, your dad will too.
> Right now hes on blood pressure meds and cholesterol meds,
they just added low dose asprin.
>
> I know he's scared because to see a formerly non health contious person become very health contious is kindof scarry.
>
> He's had a really sh*tty life dealing with my mother, so I was hoping he would retire well.
>
> I hope he sees at least a few more good days.
>
>
> Linkadge
>
>
>
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 17:53:22
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 17:34:00
He can talk fine, I don't know if he suffered any brain dammage. I don't know how severe the stroke actually was. He hasn't lost any movement or anything.
The surgery is on an artery in his neck. I don't know how risky the procedure is.
I just wish I could be there to offer the family the support it needs.
Linkadge
Posted by leo33 on January 12, 2007, at 18:37:36
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by Gee on January 12, 2007, at 15:38:16
sorry to here that linkage. My father had a stroke in 1993, and although it was bad he has fully recovered and you would not know he ever had one. He also survived prostate cancer after that. Your father sounds strong inside and that attitude can see him through this. Maybe you can use this as a purpose for strength.
It's understandable to be scared, i would be too. And I pray that he will recover. Take care.
Leo
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 12, 2007, at 18:54:32
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by leo33 on January 12, 2007, at 18:37:36
hi Link,
I think you're really brave for admitting that you're scared. It's hard to say that, but I can tell that it comes from a place of love.Several years ago my father had severe blood clots in his lungs and also in his brain (mini-strokes). There was a time when we could leave his hospital room, and come back 5 minutes later, and he would be surprised, and get teary, because "no one had visited him in 3 weeks". He has recovered from having zero motility and zero memory (he picked up his milk carton trying to figure out how to turn the TV down) to a very good recovery. He can get up and get dressed by himself, make breakfast of bacon and eggs for him and mom, and keep track of current events far better than I.
My husband's dad had a massive stroke in his Left Hemisphere, could not talk or walk for several months, but eventually recovered so that he only had a slight limp and some very mild stuttering (he was able to travel, and drive, and golf, etc.)
I wish your family could be together to support each other right now. I understand, though, how our best intentions can be misread by others when we're under so much stress.
hugs for you and your family. (feel free to pass them on if you're not a hugging kinda person).
You know that medically he is in very good shape not to have overt neurological signs of the stroke. He is young and will be strong enough to recover from surgery. The reason for the surgery is so that he can enjoy many more years. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your dad as far as surgery and recovery is concerned.
He's so lucky to have such a smart and caring son like Linkadge.
yours,
-Ll
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 19:16:38
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared » leo33, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 12, 2007, at 18:54:32
Hey, thanks for the support folks. I'd like to impart the same kind of hope in him, but I am afraid that if I try to tell him how it will be ok that he will sence my fear and perhaps become more afraid himself.
I want him to be concerned to change his diet etc, but not so concerned as to effect him emotionally.
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 20:57:06
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 17:53:22
Link I spelled it wrong before but probably a carotid endardarectomy. He should be fine. Next day or later that day probably out of bed. If he's talking and moving sounds like a precaution they are taking making plaque built up in the artery. My thoughts are with you and you family. They have excellent rehab programs today too. Don't care if it's Canada or the USA. He will be fine. Yes he has a big responsibility with your Mother but she's doing a lot better give her credit for that she will hold together. Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 21:14:52
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared » linkadge, posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 20:57:06
Link a dietician and the nurses will discuss diet and stuff like that so you don't or won't have to. Just tell everyone you love them very much. Love Phillipa
Posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 22:24:32
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2007, at 21:14:52
Hey, thanks again for the support.
Linkadge
Posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 22:50:43
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 19:16:38
I wonder if your dad might be able to find and join a group like my dad's Cardio Club? He just loves meeting his buddies at at the crack of dawn at the gym now, and they take nutrition/lifestyle/pep-talk classes together, too. They sort of look out for each other, and it's turned into a real social thing.> I want him to be concerned to change his diet etc, but not so concerned as to effect him emotionally.
>
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 12, 2007, at 23:06:36
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by laima on January 12, 2007, at 22:50:43
Sorry Link and leo33, I didn't mean to click that "pernicious box".
phooey.
Anyways, Link- keep us updated.
I think your dad will be motivated to take better care of himself. You won't need to nag him for a few months. If he starts slipping, you can remind him, and maybe try to set up some kind of activity that you both can enjoy together?
I was amazed at how different my dad's outlook on life was when he got out of the hospital. Don't feel like the burden is all on you to keep him healthy-- Phillipa's right, the hospital will give him some rehab/therapy/dietician information to help him make better choices.
best to you. I'll be thinking of you and your family,
-Ll
Posted by NikkiT2 on January 13, 2007, at 4:49:34
In reply to My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 12:07:21
being scared is perfectly natural..
My thoughts are with you all - and sending loads of positive healing vibes over the water..
Nikki
Posted by AuntieMel on January 13, 2007, at 13:17:51
In reply to Re: My dad had a stroke. I'm scared, posted by linkadge on January 12, 2007, at 17:53:22
You say you wish you could offer support.
But you do, even if you don't realize it.
You give support by taking care of yourself, by going to school, by working to get well.
You give support by letting him know you love him.
That's all he really needs, you know. As we say down here "anything else is gravy."
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