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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 11 to 35 of 35. Go back in thread:
Posted by 10derHeart on December 27, 2006, at 21:22:33
In reply to Re: I feel upset, posted by Deneb on December 27, 2006, at 20:34:34
Wow - what a beautiful thing to write to Dinah!
Made me get all teared up on her behalf :-)
I'm glad you are doing some IRL stuff, too. It does help to listen to others' stuff and forget about our own negatives and worries for a while, right?
Sometimes, we can get soooo immersed in Babble, the bads seem soooo bad, you know? Sometimes stepping away and trying to see the bigger picture, where today fits in, where one 'episode' of upset fits in, to your day, week, month, life, can help.
I'd wish no more scared and upset feelings ever for you if I could, but we all know life just doesn't work that way. Each time you learn a little bit of something, though, at least I see it...
I really like the way you started this thread, too. Restraint, simplicity in feelings - at least for me - are scary and hard when you've not confidently used those a lot in the past and can't be totally sure of good results. You *are* brave. ((Deneb))
Posted by TexasChic on December 27, 2006, at 21:28:25
In reply to I feel upset, posted by Deneb on December 27, 2006, at 17:07:29
Hey sweetie! I'm glad you're feeling better. Those plummets into depression are so hard to handle. At the time you feel like nothing will ever be any better. But if you remind yourself enough times that it is temporary, you will eventually see the pattern for what it is. It may take a while, but it's there for you to see. The hard part is dealing with that feeling while its happening. But you know, sometimes just posting here and saying, "I'm upset, please comfort me" is enough. The reason isn't even necessary unless you just feel the need to rant about it, in which case people here are good for too! You have alot going for you Deneb, even if you can't see it right now. You're way more brave than I was at your age, and I have a lot of admiration for you because of it.
-T
Posted by Honore on December 27, 2006, at 22:11:32
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on December 27, 2006, at 21:28:25
Deneb, it's great that you can say you're upset, rather than other, more drastic things.
For one things, words and concepts have power. If you tell yourself you're upset, you can see that it's really bad, and you feel really rotten and lousy and you want to be comforted, but it's not the end of the world.
And maybe it'll be just that much easier to remember that we care. And, like Dinah says, maybe the feeling will pass-- the sun will come out-- or who knows? --but your mood will shift.
I'm proud of you for trying out a new way of describing what you're feeling--one that lets other people in so much more.
Honore
Posted by Dinah on December 28, 2006, at 9:33:00
In reply to Re: I feel upset, posted by Deneb on December 27, 2006, at 20:34:34
Thank *you*. You made me smile.
Enjoy your sister while she's there and have maximum fun.
Posted by Farkus on December 28, 2006, at 11:09:15
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Farkus, posted by Deneb on December 27, 2006, at 20:38:12
You are very welcome.
I am quite proud of you for your original post and your followups. In posting to you, I reason if I'm going to mouth off about behaviors I don't like - which I have - I also needed to acknowledge when I see a behavior that I think is good. I am sorry you had upset feelings but how you voiced (and what you didn't voice : ) ) in your post here --- that was great!!
Again, I'm proud of you.
Posted by Deneb on December 28, 2006, at 19:28:21
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on December 27, 2006, at 21:08:48
Yes, I'm feeling better now. Thanks Phillipa.
Thanks 10derHeart. Doing IRL stuff with my sister helps. (((((10derHeart))))) You're a very caring person.
Thanks (((((TexasChic)))))). You're always there for me. It means a great deal to me.
Thanks ((((((Honore))))))). Getting these responses are exactly what I need when I'm upset.
Thanks everyone. You're all helping me a lot with your support. I feel much better knowing people still like me and care about me.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on December 28, 2006, at 21:53:16
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Phillipa, posted by Deneb on December 28, 2006, at 19:28:21
Posted by Phillipa on December 28, 2006, at 22:12:34
In reply to Oops, above for everyone (nm), posted by Deneb on December 28, 2006, at 21:53:16
Deneb are you okay? Or are you thanking people? Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on December 29, 2006, at 18:56:53
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Phillipa, posted by Deneb on December 28, 2006, at 19:28:21
> Thanks (((((TexasChic)))))). You're always there for me. It means a great deal to me.
Right back at you girlfriend! I hope I get to meet you in person someday! Maybe at the San Francisco babble party, although the one person I know there that I planned to stay with is the guy who totally insulted me and said he was sick of my high school drama. So maybe we can share a room?
-T
Posted by Deneb on December 29, 2006, at 23:20:42
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on December 29, 2006, at 18:56:53
> > Thanks (((((TexasChic)))))). You're always there for me. It means a great deal to me.
>
> Right back at you girlfriend! I hope I get to meet you in person someday! Maybe at the San Francisco babble party, although the one person I know there that I planned to stay with is the guy who totally insulted me and said he was sick of my high school drama. So maybe we can share a room?
>
> -TI would love to share a room! :-)
I would so totally go to San Francisco! I lived there before.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on December 29, 2006, at 23:23:29
In reply to Re: I feel upset » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on December 29, 2006, at 18:56:53
I feel a lot of love right now. People still care about me and post things to me to try to make me feel better. I love you for that. I love you for caring.
(((((((((((Everyone))))))))))))
I love you as much as I love Bob.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on December 30, 2006, at 0:26:47
In reply to I love you, posted by Deneb on December 29, 2006, at 23:23:29
I just read more posts.
I don't have an anti-social personality disorder. :-(
My pdoc says I have a borderline personality. My pdoc knows me very well. I've seen her for close to 5 years. She knows about my suicide threats and OD's. I've even mini OD'd before seeing her. She knows everything about me. She knows about me threatening to kill myself when I was blocked. She knows everything. She's an expert. She doesn't think I have an anti-social personality. I *know* I don't have an anti-social personality. I know for sure I have a conscience. She thinks I have a borderline personality and so do I.
I'm working on it, but I still make mistakes. I feel bad that people get hurt. I get upset when others get upset with me.
I'm just not improving fast enough for people. :-(
I just wish everything were back to normal and nobody is upset.
Deneb*
Posted by Dinah on December 30, 2006, at 8:43:21
In reply to Upset again, posted by Deneb on December 30, 2006, at 0:26:47
If you want to Babblemail me, I'm around today. Stuck at the computer tied to work. But around.
Posted by TexasChic on December 30, 2006, at 13:35:54
In reply to Upset again, posted by Deneb on December 30, 2006, at 0:26:47
I'm sorry someone upset you. You've got to stop letting these people get to you! I know, easier said than done. Believe me, I know. But you're giving them way too much power! They don't know you and shouldn't have that kind of power over you. Just because somebody else says something doesn't mean its true. I can see in you a trait I see in myself and that's thinking everybody else is better than you. That makes you think their comments must have some validity. But its just not true. I could say you have blonde hair but that wouldn't change your hair color. Try to think of their comments the same way. Trust your own opinion and allow yourself to think good thoughts about yourself (and l'll try to do the same).
-T
Posted by madeline on December 30, 2006, at 15:10:35
In reply to Upset again, posted by Deneb on December 30, 2006, at 0:26:47
I don't put much stock in psychiatric diagnosis. I don't think any of us are as simple as a collected list of "symptoms".
What I do think is important now is where we go from here and how we act and react with each other.
And, about that, I have nothing but faith that things can and will get better for us all.
Maddie
Posted by Declan on January 1, 2007, at 13:36:24
In reply to Re: Upset again » Deneb, posted by madeline on December 30, 2006, at 15:10:35
These diagnoses like narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder are easily imagined to be more real than they are.
I mean these syndromes were decided by committees (of US academics?).
There is no 'alpha male syndrome', homosexuality is no longer an illness (by virtue of the zeitgeist).
You imagine if they ran astronomy like this.
Posted by Deneb on January 3, 2007, at 23:57:41
In reply to Diagnoses, posted by Declan on January 1, 2007, at 13:36:24
I just discovered some people posted not so nice comments on my blog. I feel attacked. I feel unsafe. What should I do? Two people basically told me to leave Babble. :-(
I'm never leaving Babble, as long as Bob and my Babbler friends are here. NEVER.
What should I do?
I don't think I'm going to visit my blog anymore.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 6:17:40
In reply to Upset yet again, posted by Deneb on January 3, 2007, at 23:57:41
I'm going to accept that there will always be people who don't like me. I'm just not going to let this upset me.
I'm also going to slowly change for the better. Maybe one of those years those people will like me.
Deneb*
Posted by Farkus on January 4, 2007, at 7:40:46
In reply to Upset yet again, posted by Deneb on January 3, 2007, at 23:57:41
It is difficult to not separate a behavior from “us” as who we are. I believe another CAN accept us without being fond of some of our behaviors. Thus, I don’t feel rejected or unliked as a person when another says they won’t tolerate a certain behavior from me. It’s complicated and maybe it only makes sense to me.
Not to belabor the point or plow an already gone over field, bottom line, TO ME: the recent events appeared to me to be about a behavior and accountibity and yes, people were very angry.
Perhaps as time goes by things will resolve and the level of upsetness will decrease.
Posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 11:10:14
In reply to Re: Upset yet again, posted by Farkus on January 4, 2007, at 7:40:46
What about Dr. Bob's rule: Two wrongs don't make a right?
:-(
I feel attacked.
Deneb*
Posted by Farkus on January 4, 2007, at 11:28:57
In reply to Re: Upset yet again » Farkus, posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 11:10:14
> What about Dr. Bob's rule: Two wrongs don't make a right?
>
> :-(
>>> I agree with that and I also agree with the idea that NONE of us are free to voice all our opinions or thoughts or feelings even if they are as true to us as the day is long.
I am also sorry you feel attacked. I don't defend that at all. I do think some of it may have to do with things building to an "explosion" - that doesn't make it right it my eyes. I like to think, even if it's only in my own mind, that I have empathitic (I know that's not spelled right --) feelings for alot of the feelings voiced and yours are included in that.
Posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2007, at 11:40:25
In reply to Upset yet again, posted by Deneb on January 3, 2007, at 23:57:41
> I just discovered some people posted not so nice comments on my blog. I feel attacked. I feel unsafe. What should I do? Two people basically told me to leave Babble. :-(
>
> I'm never leaving Babble, as long as Bob and my Babbler friends are here. NEVER.
>
> What should I do?
>
> I don't think I'm going to visit my blog anymore.
>
> Deneb*Whaaaa??? I think this alone would cause me to take down my blog and revert to writing in a diary with a lock on the front. Much safer.
(((Deneb))) no one should have to experience this.ClearSkies
Posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 12:44:19
In reply to Re: Upset yet again » Deneb, posted by Farkus on January 4, 2007, at 11:28:57
(((((((((Farkus)))))))))))
I'm glad you're able to separate the behaviour from the person, but not everyone is able to do that.
Right now my consolation is knowing that others have issues. That's what my pdoc told me. Other people have issues that can make them post not so nice things sometimes. Just as I'm flawed, others are too.
I know in my heart I'm a good person and if there is a God, he/she knows that too.
I also have to remind myself that Babble is not the world for me. I have a loving family and friends. They all know I'm a good person too. My pdoc knows all my flaws and she thinks I'm a good person.
I'm just going to be a civil, supportive Babbler and hope for the best. I'll probably make more mistakes in the future, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a good person.
I'm slowly learning from my mistakes and that's all I can really do. I can't change overnight.
Deneb*
Posted by Kath on January 4, 2007, at 12:55:33
In reply to Re: Upset yet again » Farkus, posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 12:44:19
Wow Deneb - I wonder if you have any idea how healthy & mature this sounds!!??
Your pdoc sounds great & good for YOU, as to realizing about your friends & family, etc.
I'm impressed.
luv, Kath
Posted by Farkus on January 4, 2007, at 14:36:48
In reply to Re: Upset yet again » Farkus, posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 12:44:19
WOW!!!
Deneb, I am very pleased to read your post!! I really really liked what you said.
I think you are a good person and I think alot of folks care about you here.
I know I do.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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