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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
I know that "leaving"/"taking a break" posts are sometimes perceived as classic attention getting "ploys" by some. I do not feel I am particularly, or at all, popular here, although that has never been my reason for posting here. My reason was mostly to learn and hopefully grow and start to heal. I also had another reason for starting posting here which I cannot reveal for privacy reasons. I hesitate even to post that much :( I can say with 100 percent honesty though, that it has NOTHING to do with ANYONE here, and it never did.
I don't like feeling that I may be encroaching on someone's safe space. But I am not sure that it is positive to put someone elses possible feelings above my own..... unless they are a close or trusted friend. I have done that before in my life, and when I did that, I was usually rejected anyway, probably because I was not being true to myself and maybe seemed inauthentic (?) I do not know. That is a complete guess.
I am thinking of taking a break as I stated in the title. Maybe for two days, maybe for two months. Whatever.
I am not looking for replies begging me to stay. I would appreciate one or two replies, though, to show I am not perceived as a complete outcast here.
My sincere good thoughts to all,
rainbutterfly
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 14:31:23
In reply to maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
I know this is a pattern of mine, feeling the need to withdraw when feeling very scared/threatened. I have in the past reacted in the opposite way, with 2 different people, and I soon learnt that was more destructive and hurtful, to both sides. Several people have behaved in that or a very similar way to me. My tolerance towards this behaviour has depended on a lot of issues. Mostly my perception of their intent. Only once though did I fall out with the person completely and permanently. There were a lot of other issues in play there which is not surprising.....
These patterns of mine as stated above only occur online. Maybe I need to think about why.
I feel very exposed and vulnerable posting this. Perhaps this is an occasion where my "cocoon" is necessary :(
Posted by karen_kay on October 14, 2006, at 14:50:13
In reply to maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
sorry if you feel the need to run. sometimes those old defense mechanisms work the best for us.
when (if?) your break is over i'll drop you a few lines. take care
Posted by fayeroe on October 14, 2006, at 15:25:54
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break, posted by karen_kay on October 14, 2006, at 14:50:13
maybe taking a "cave" break would help you now. i hate seeing you retreat, but you know best. pat
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 14, 2006, at 15:39:20
In reply to maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
Hi Rainbutterfly,
I've enjoyed getting to know you better. You've been very supportive of me, and I think you're a great person.Take care on your break, and I hope you come back and say Hi to me :)
Posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 19:24:57
In reply to maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
Isn't pretty much everything we post an attempt to get attention? I know when I have a problem and post about it, I'm looking for attention (feedback) from others. I think its kind of the whole point of a chatroom.
And I think we all feel like 'outcasts'. That's why we're here! But I don't think there are outcasts within babble. No matter how out of line anyone gets around here, there always seems to be SOMEONE who will try to communicate (constructively) with that person. And believe me, you Rainy are not even close to being an outcast. I'd tell you to read a specific few other's posts, but that wouldn't be civil.
Not that you shouldn't take a break if you need it, we all do from time to time. Just don't think anyone wants you to leave, okay?
-T
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 14, 2006, at 19:42:22
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » rainbutterfly, posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 19:24:57
Hi Tex,
great to see you again, back from YOUR break :)I hope life treats you well and that you successfully transitioned from being a trainee to being master of the universe. I hope they don't steal your lunch from the fridge either. I HATE that!!
Welcome back ;o)
-Li
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 19:45:54
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » rainbutterfly, posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 19:24:57
aww thanks Tex, you put that really well. My whiny alter ego (?) just posted on Self Esteem. I do wish there was a delete function here. Ugh.
Thanks to everyone else who replied. I really thought no one would reply. And part of me thought that is what I deserve :( Old tapes. Yank them out. If only gr!
I really try not to stamp on peoples paws/antennae. Sometimes I do get triggered and post "stuff" though. Isn't that partly why we are here? If I never got triggered, sad, consumed by rage...... I would probably never have made one post. I suppose some people just won't like me whatever I do. I don't mind that, just some things really scare me :( Oh well :( At least I own that. I am the one who is scared. Well at this moment I do. I do blame people who keep hurting me. Is that part of being human?
Isn't owning our stuff a huge part of healing. I know it is.
Feel bad about confused post, here it is anyway/
Posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 20:09:37
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » TexasChic, posted by Lindenblüte on October 14, 2006, at 19:42:22
Ha, ha! Thanks! I still believe that was a mistake and the person was just too embarrased to bring my lunch back. It was one of about 15 in a plastic grocery bag in the fridge.
As for work, everything is going great. I managed the first hurdle, now I'm just trying to soak up as much as I can from the people who seemed to have deemed me worthy of their knowledge. I really never thought I'd be here. It just goes to show you should never stop trying for bigger and better things. And to think, 2 years ago I was working at the job from hell (after getting fired from the job right next to hell) and for exactly half of what I'm making now!
-T
P.S. I was recently reading about my benefits for my new job, and to show how something worked, they gave an example of a yearly income. It was more that double my salary! And I'm making more than I ever have in my life! I have no idea what point I'm trying to make here, I was just blown away by the fact that people can be so rich beyond my imagining. Of course then there's all the people who are so poor beyond my imagining. I wish we were in the Star Trek future where money didn't mean anything anymore.
Posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 20:13:24
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » Lindenblüte, posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 20:09:37
I just realized its 8pm on a Saturday night and I'm posting in a chatroom about Star Trek. I think that speaks for itself.
-T :-0
Posted by TexasChic on October 14, 2006, at 20:22:16
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 19:45:54
> aww thanks Tex, you put that really well. My whiny alter ego (?) just posted on Self Esteem. I do wish there was a delete function here. Ugh.
Believe me, I do too! I've posted some REALLY embarrassing things here.
>I suppose some people just won't like me whatever I do.Yep! You're absolutely right! Why is that such a hard lesson for some of us (me) to learn?
>I do blame people who keep hurting me. Is that part of being human?
One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that I DO have to right to get mad when people treat me badly, rather than thinking I must have done something to deserve it! Why is it so hard to believe we're good people who deserve good stuff???? Of course how to deal with those people in a positive, mature manner is a whole other lesson that I'm still in the process of learning.
> Feel bad about confused post, here it is anyway/
Don't worry. We're all confused.-T
Posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 20:25:56
In reply to maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 13:45:31
Hey. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling appreciated here :-( Sometimes I find that my feelings of Babble connection vary a bit. Sometimes I don't really feel appreciated here, and then someone will post something nice to me and I've got tears streaming down my face. Other times I feel really connected. It varies a bit...
I don't think you are perceived as an outcast.
((((rainbutterfly))))
Take care.
Posted by Phillipa on October 14, 2006, at 22:47:09
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » rainbutterfly, posted by alexandra_k on October 14, 2006, at 20:25:56
Rainbutterfly. I'm sorry to see you take a break just getting to know you. do you think psychology might be better now for you? I've just started posting there myself. Love Phillipa
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 15, 2006, at 11:46:12
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break, posted by rainbutterfly on October 14, 2006, at 19:45:54
Thank you all, I really appreciate your kindness (it made me cry)
I might stick around, but lay low. Who knows. I change my mind every half hour sometimes :(
The psychology board sounds like a good suggestion, thanks Phillipa. I have hardly read anything over there yet.
xo butterfly
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 13:06:27
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break, posted by fayeroe on October 14, 2006, at 15:25:54
"but you *ie me, butterfly* know best"
YES!!!!!!
Thank you for your vote of confidence :) :) :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx rainbutterfly (mwah)
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 15:04:14
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » fayeroe, posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 13:06:27
Ugh. Yes. I didn't care for that message either. It was sarcastic.
The message with the xoxoxxx I mean. I only use them when I am feeling positive towards someone. I probably misunderstood your message, fayeroe. If so... my .... sigh..... apologies. I just was confused as to why you mentioned "cave break" as I had already said I had privacy issues here.
Zipper lipped.
butterfly
Posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2006, at 19:16:26
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » rainbutterfly, posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 15:04:14
I think it was just a figure of speech. Meaning that you felt the need to be alone. If I'm wrong fayroe will correct me I'm sure. Love Phillipa
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 16, 2006, at 19:18:03
In reply to Re: maybe taking a break » rainbutterfly, posted by Phillipa on October 16, 2006, at 19:16:26
Yeah. I was being too sensitive again. It's all good :)
This is the end of the thread.
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