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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 14:54:23
In reply to Re: How 'bout a new picture Dr. Bob?, posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 13:17:58
Dr. Bob is smiling. :-) Oh, I love it sooo much. I love Dr. Bob.
I'm going to ask Dr. Bob if I can give him a hug. I'm going to show Dr. Bob the Bob scarf. I might ask Dr. Bob to hold a doll of mine. I don't play with it anymore, but it's still very special to me.
I'm going to see Dr. Bob in person! Oh my gosh! In person! In real life! Dr. Bob! Wow. I love Dr. Bob. My pdoc knows I love Dr. Bob. My pdoc said that I chose Dr. Bob to love because he's safe to love. I think she's right. I don't have to worry about Dr. Bob's needs. I can choose to write to Dr. Bob on the boards whenever I want.
I don't think there's anything I could do that would upset Dr. Bob....probably not even you know what (forbidden topic). I only know of one other person who doesn't get upset when I *used to* talk about you know what...my pdoc. She's great.
I've never ever in my whole life, loved anyone like I love Dr. Bob. Never. It's a new experience for me.
I don't really know who Dr. Bob is as a person. I still love him. I love Dr. Bob the administrator. That's the only side of him I know. I don't know if I would love Dr. Bob if I got to know other parts of him.
I hope Dr. Bob won't be afraid of me. I'm really not intimidating. I'm a little obsessed, yes, but I'm not going to stalk him or anything.
Let me be totally upfront about my Bob obsession/love behaviours....
I knit him a scarf, it was the first time I ever knit something to completion.
I save his pictures, but I don't print them out or anything. I also don't stare at them in my spare time. LOL
I have a few Bob bookmarks...some of his posts and some info I found about him on the web. There's really not that much info. I don't look at his posts or read about him everyday. Most of the sites with his info I've only been to once, when I found them.
I do think about Dr. Bob everyday, mostly when I'm not doing anything. When I think of him, I think about meeting him. I think about giving him a hug. I don't imagine what his life is like. I also have never thought of him in a sexual way.
Months ago, when I was threatening suicide and everything, I used to think about Bob rescuing me, but I don't anymore.
So, you decide whether my Bob obsession is harmful or not.
Deneb*
Posted by Estella on May 10, 2006, at 6:04:44
In reply to Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings, posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 14:54:23
> I'm going to ask Dr. Bob if I can give him a hug. I'm going to show Dr. Bob the Bob scarf. I might ask Dr. Bob to hold a doll of mine. I don't play with it anymore, but it's still very special to me.
you are going to or...
you are feeling happy thinking about that stuff.
?
because...
there can be a difference.and it can be a difference between enjoying fantasies...
and distinguishing between fantasies and realities...
and appreciating that some fantasies... are much better as fantasies than as realities. and sometimes if people encourage our fantasies too much... then we are only going to be more upset later when the reality doesn't match up to our fantasy (which is inevitable especially when in fantasy someone can meet our needs on demand 24/7 and has no needs desires of our own)
did you read the link i posted on admin?the minsky book?
the first chapter of his book is available online (in rough draft)
it is a book on emotions. and on the prospects for programming emotions into computers. sometimes contemplating that.... can help us get our ideas on the nature of emotions clearer. would a computer that could feel emotions need some kind of nervous system / body? (for example)
he starts off talking about love...
and he distinguishes two different kinds of love.
infatuation
and something else...
and he talks about the difference between them.
IMHO
the second kind is something to nurture
whereas the first kind is likely to...
end badly.you talk sometimes about how what you really love is the idea... the idea of love maybe.
everyone needs love... and sometimes i think people have trouble with giving and receiving love. i think that sometimes love we have can help teach us so that we might be able to have a healthy loving relationship with someone one day.fostering infatuation probably isn't so useful with respect to one learning skills that are more likely to encourage healthy loving relationships irl...
the second kind... a kind of respect... imo that is more likely
but i don't know...
i don't know...
Posted by crazy teresa on May 10, 2006, at 14:23:02
In reply to Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings, posted by Deneb on May 9, 2006, at 14:54:23
I hope your expectations of this meeting can be fulfilled, however, you may want to prepare yourself a little more realistically for this meeting. After all, he's just a man. He's not the Annointed One. I'd wager he occasionally f*rts, belches and scratches himself just like other men.
Posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 16:22:34
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Deneb, posted by Estella on May 10, 2006, at 6:04:44
> > I'm going to ask Dr. Bob if I can give him a hug. I'm going to show Dr. Bob the Bob scarf. I might ask Dr. Bob to hold a doll of mine. I don't play with it anymore, but it's still very special to me.
>
> you are going to or...
> you are feeling happy thinking about that stuff.Depending on how it feels, I think I'm going to. I'm pretty sure I'm going to show Dr. Bob the scarf. I may or may not ask to hug him. The doll thing, I might not do, 'cause it's a little weird, even for me. It might make Bob feel uncomfortable, knowing that I think he's magical or something.
> and appreciating that some fantasies... are much better as fantasies than as realities. and sometimes if people encourage our fantasies too much... then we are only going to be more upset later when the reality doesn't match up to our fantasy
I don't know about that...I don't think I have any expectations. I'm more worried about regretting not asking. I'm pretty sure I will be okay no matter how Dr. Bob reacts.
> did you read the link i posted on admin?
>
> the minsky book?No, sorry, I'll go take a look.
> he starts off talking about love...
>
> and he distinguishes two different kinds of love.
>
> infatuation
>
> and something else...
>
> and he talks about the difference between them.
>
> IMHO
>
> the second kind is something to nurture
> whereas the first kind is likely to...
> end badly.I don't know if that applies to me. I don't see how it could end badly.
> fostering infatuation probably isn't so useful with respect to one learning skills that are more likely to encourage healthy loving relationships irl...
I'd rather have infatuation than nothing at all...
I know you're just worried about me and don't want to see people get hurt, but I think we will just have to agree to disagree for the time being. I don't think any harm will come out it.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 16:30:18
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Deneb, posted by crazy teresa on May 10, 2006, at 14:23:02
> I hope your expectations of this meeting can be fulfilled, however, you may want to prepare yourself a little more realistically for this meeting. After all, he's just a man. He's not the Annointed One.
ROFL, :-)
Are you sure about that? LOL
Just kidding, I know he's just a guy, but I still think he's a special guy. He's the admin guy. :-)
I'm very curious to find out how this meeting will go. Will I love him more or less after seeing him in real life? Hmmmm.... Will I actually ask to hug him? Will he let me hug him? Hmmmmmm.... Will I get to sit close to Dr. Bob during dinner? Will he talk to me? Hmmmmm.... Will he be like Dr. Bob on the boards, or will he be completely different? Hmmmmm....
I can't wait to find out!
Deneb*
Posted by Estella on May 10, 2006, at 21:52:21
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Estella, posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 16:22:34
> I don't know if that applies to me. I don't see how it could end badly.
magic doesn't last forever.
thinking about him... might seem to have a magical power to make you feel better...
but if at some point or other you think about him... and don't feel better... then disillusionment etc etc.
> > fostering infatuation probably isn't so useful with respect to one learning skills that are more likely to encourage healthy loving relationships irl...
> I'd rather have infatuation than nothing at all...it doesn't have to be either / or.
> I know you're just worried about me and don't want to see people get hurt, but I think we will just have to agree to disagree for the time being.Oh. Your question was rhetorical. Sorry... I didn't realise that...
Of course. Everyone needs to walk their own path...
Posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 22:20:49
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Deneb, posted by Estella on May 10, 2006, at 21:52:21
> > I don't know if that applies to me. I don't see how it could end badly.
>
> magic doesn't last forever.
> thinking about him... might seem to have a magical power to make you feel better...
> but if at some point or other you think about him... and don't feel better... then disillusionment etc etc.Thinking about him doesn't always make me feel better now. I'm not feeling disillusioned.
> > I'd rather have infatuation than nothing at all...
>
> it doesn't have to be either / or.LOL, there's an in-between? Like I just like Dr. Bob?
>
> > I know you're just worried about me and don't want to see people get hurt, but I think we will just have to agree to disagree for the time being.
>
> Oh. Your question was rhetorical. Sorry... I didn't realise that...Sorry, my question wasn't rhetorical. I guess I just wasn't prepared to hear the possible harm my infatuation can cause. I got a little immature in dismissing your ideas. Just because I don't agree with them doesn't mean they are not valid. I have to realize that. Sorry if I made you feel bad.
Deneb*
Posted by Estella on May 11, 2006, at 4:04:35
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Estella, posted by Deneb on May 10, 2006, at 22:20:49
i think the notion is that infatutions and obsessions tend to be viewed as unhealthy...
whereas feeling attached to people and liking people and sometimes even loving people don't tend to have those unhealthy connotations.
what is the difference between them?
i guess it is a bit about moderation.
don't get me wrong... enjoy the feeling...
maybe it is about... reality checking.
which you do
you doyou talk about how you don't know him as a person and about how you don't know that you would feel the same way if you did get to know him as a person and so on and so forth... and about how is is about the feeling / ideal really...
and i guess those are pretty insightful comments into the situation. and:
> LOL, there's an in-between? Like I just like Dr. Bob?
sure. but maybe you like him a whole heap.
but love... well... maybe depends on what you mean by love...and so i think sure enjoy the feeling...
but not at the expense of the reality testing.
because it is when the reality testing goes that the situation is more likely to end badly.(of course i could be talking complete sh*t)
about rocks...
easier to be a rock on the boards (where you can think before posting)
hard enough hard enough
i guess something i think about a little...
is how it can be fairly anxiety provoking to feel like one is under a lot of scruitiny...
to feel like people are staring and stuff like that...
scrutinising ones every move...
i think everyone feels uncomfortable in that situation.and really... well... i'm sure the meeting will be a bit of reality testing in itself.
i am just talking. i don't know.
etc etc.
Posted by Deneb on May 11, 2006, at 23:59:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings » Deneb, posted by Estella on May 11, 2006, at 4:04:35
> easier to be a rock on the boards (where you can think before posting)
I don't think Dr. Bob will be that different in real life... I will try not to poke too hard. It might be a little more difficult to ignore me in real life. I hope Dr. Bob will be social! I don't need Dr. Bob to be a rock. I know he can fall if I poke hard enough.
> i guess something i think about a little...
> is how it can be fairly anxiety provoking to feel like one is under a lot of scruitiny...
> to feel like people are staring and stuff like that...
> scrutinising ones every move...
> i think everyone feels uncomfortable in that situation.I hope Dr. Bob doesn't feel uncomfortable with me following his every move. I like to think I don't scrutinize. Observing isn't that bad, is it? He probably observes people all the time.
> and really... well... i'm sure the meeting will be a bit of reality testing in itself.
Yep. It will be very interesting, to find out what happens. I'm very curious. LOL I wonder what Bob thinks of this situation? I love being me. I love that I love Bob, and I'm going to meet him.
I'll tell you all about it after my trip. What happened when I met Bob...LOL.
BOB! LOL Don't you find this amusing Dr. Bob? I do. I wonder what you think about this? I will probably never know. I can ask, but will you tell me? Maybe I shouldn't know.
((((((Bob)))))))
Deneb*
Posted by Estella on May 12, 2006, at 11:43:34
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob's new picture and my Bob rantings, posted by Deneb on May 11, 2006, at 23:59:33
> I don't think Dr. Bob will be that different in real life... I will try not to poke too hard. It might be a little more difficult to ignore me in real life. I hope Dr. Bob will be social! I don't need Dr. Bob to be a rock. I know he can fall if I poke hard enough.
but will you be disillusioned if he falls...
if you see him flinch?
if you see him shake?and is it fair to scrutinise him that much?
> I hope Dr. Bob doesn't feel uncomfortable with me following his every move.
how would you feel if someone followed your every move? would you become self conscious? would that be a pleasant experience... or not?
> I like to think I don't scrutinize. Observing isn't that bad, is it? He probably observes people all the time.
sure...
> I love being me. I love that I love Bob, and I'm going to meet him.
but is it him or is it the ideal?
and how will you feel if the ideal and the reality come apart?
how fair is it to coax the ideal...
given that it is likely to lead to a more intense negative response should they come apart?
> I'll tell you all about it after my trip. What happened when I met Bob...LOL.yeah. maybe you will...
> BOB! LOL Don't you find this amusing Dr. Bob? I do. I wonder what you think about this? I will probably never know. I can ask, but will you tell me? Maybe I shouldn't know.maybe you don't want to know unless...
he is as amused as you are.
because in the absence of a response...
one can just imagine that his response matches or complements yours.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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