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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by orchid on September 23, 2005, at 15:40:20
Something that has always been a problem for me, is that, I can't talk without some thing to discuss or some substance in the talk. I can't just talk usual chit chats.. I am getting better these days, but still, I have lot of difficulty in talking when there is nothing to talk about.
I do strike up converstaions, and have friends, and am generally perceived as quite friendly and even moderately talkative, but it is very hard to talk in the phone or chat for me.
How do you just talk about nothing at all?
Posted by orchid on September 23, 2005, at 15:40:21
In reply to How do you chit chat without any subject?, posted by orchid on September 18, 2005, at 21:27:12
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 23, 2005, at 15:40:21
In reply to How do you chit chat without any subject?, posted by orchid on September 18, 2005, at 21:27:12
Hi Orchid! Good to see you posting again. I must say that I am pretty good at chit chat, although I loathe it. (I strongly prefer deep conversation). But when I know that I need to make chit chat (like on a 1st date, departmental party, etc.), I think of topics ahead of time. Good TV shows I've seen lately, a movie I've been to or rented recently, cute things my pets did. I also read news stories (especially entertainment news) on yahoo.com. Typically a good source of light banter. And I also make sure to ask the other person LOTS of ?'s abt him/herself: Really, what did you see on your vacation? What did you do? Oh, had you ever been snorkling before? Why did you decide to go there? Do you have any pictures? And so on...
And a last thought that may or may not apply to you...I know that when I am in a particularly depressed phase I dread chit chat. It is less painful when I am feeling better. Does that happen to you?
Best,
EE
Posted by TexasChic on September 23, 2005, at 16:25:48
In reply to Re: How do you chit chat without any subject? » orchid, posted by Emily Elizabeth on September 18, 2005, at 21:58:44
I'm not exactly an expert, I usually need a few drinks in me before I can chit chat comfortably, which just says I have problems with it too. But I'm getting better at doing it sober. Like Emily said, you need some subjects thought up ahead of time. You never really know what subject is going to work, so you may have to try a few. If by then the person still isn't talking, I would move on to someone else. The other person has to do their part for it to work. Once you get better at it you won't have to think up subjects, you just say whatever comes to you. I'm just now getting into that phase a little bit. I've said some pretty stupid things that way, but it just seems to make people laugh. And so far they still like me later, so I don't worry about it. I think that's really the key, learning to let go of those insecurities. Recently I've had the challange of trying to chit chat with an extremely shy cute guy at work. Now that's hard!
Posted by JenStar on September 23, 2005, at 18:38:53
In reply to How do you chit chat without any subject?, posted by orchid on September 18, 2005, at 21:27:12
I usually start with some random and typical observation (wow, it's so hot today!) or something. I smile and make eye contact. If they respond, I just keep the ball rolling, so to speak.
I think it helps to ask people open ended questions instead of yes/no questions. Instead of, "Do you like this restaurant?" maybe "what are some of your favorite dishes here?" If you find another "talker" they can wring conversational juice out of the most measely comment, but most people require a jump start, I think! :)
Sometimes I even think in advance of a few things to talk about with certain friends. For example, I'll ask about their kids, what they did on the weekend, how their new recipe turned out, whether they're doing any trips lately, what they think about the Katrina response, etc.
You seem very friendly from your postings here!
How did your move go? I'm so eager to hear about your new home and how things are going. Please write more when you get a chance!JenStar
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