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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
At the moment, several of my friends are ignoring me and I don't know why. How do I cope with this?
One of my friends says that he wants to be left alone. I feel very sad, I don't know what to do.
Ed.
Posted by Spriggy on April 8, 2005, at 17:19:56
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
have you asked them (each one) what is going on? That's what I would suggest.It could be they have valid reasons (life, busyness, sickness, etc.). So give them a chance to explain before you let it hurt you.
As far as the friend who wants to be "left alone" maybe he's just at a tough place in his own life right now; depression, anxiety, or just difficulty and wants time to reflect. It may not be directly related to you at all.
You are an intelligent guy with so much helpful information- you've answered my questions lots of time which shows you have compassion.
Maybe right now, sit down and write out a list of 5 wonderful things about yourself; things that make you who you are, and focus on that during this time without these friends.(((HUGS)))
Posted by jay on April 8, 2005, at 17:26:58
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
> At the moment, several of my friends are ignoring me and I don't know why. How do I cope with this?
>
> One of my friends says that he wants to be left alone. I feel very sad, I don't know what to do.
>
> Ed.Hi Ed...well I doubt this will help but I wouldn't/am not ignoring you. I do very know what it is like, though.
Last X-mas, I *had* a friend who said I was "..too depressing to be around.." and "..stressed him out.." so he didn't want to bother with me after 15 years. Mind you, he really was a bit of a selfish dork, and really cared-a-less about me. And then there is another one who thinks he is too, ummm, "cool" to hang around with me (because he has a 23 year old girlfriend and he is 35, but I got him in the end..because he has a "Dilbert" brain-less type of job...hahahaaa!..)
Anyhow, with this lovely mental illness, it may be a good time to look for new relationships, ones that are meaningful. Don't waste it on those tacky people who get cheap thrills...go the high road, into the range of light.(That last phrase thanks to a book I am reading, called "Traveling Music" )
Best to you bud..and don't let the bastards grind you down! (Dr. Bob, I don't see how bastard could be a swear word, so please forgive me.)
Jay
Posted by henrietta on April 8, 2005, at 20:13:48
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
Thank you for bringing this up. I'm always on the other end of this, though I am incapable of being direct enough to say "leave me alone". I simply am unable to deal with people much of the time. Old friends, new friends. People I love, people I care deeply about. Doesn't matter. I can't talk to them, can't answer the door if they drop by. Hide upstairs trying not to creak any floorboards while they call my name downstairs, bringing me flowers, bringing me wonderful baked goods....
I always wish I could explain to them, on my good days, that it has nothing to do with them, that it's only my own weirdness, and that I feel very bad about being such a crummy friend. About missing group gatherings ("We missed you! Why weren't you there?").
I'm sorry you're sad. And I'm sorry to think I may make my friends sad in that way, too. Just know that even when they say "leave me alone", they love you.
Posted by Jai Narayan on April 9, 2005, at 8:31:25
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
how are you doing?
I have always liked you...
appreciated what you had to say.when in the same situation I have often projected my fears into the situation.
I know my fears are not their reasons but it seems when there is a void...
I fill it.I imagine you are lonesome for some company.
what do you want to chat about?
let's have a go at it.
Jai
Posted by trucker on April 10, 2005, at 16:11:57
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
ED
i am sorry that we all experience this from time to time. i just went thru the same thing here on the thread a couple months back. it hurt. and i been reading not posting. i still care ED. and will write if ya e-mail me. hey did ya hear that i am adopting minitures bhaaaaaaaaaaa i mean goats, nigerian, sweet heart. they are only 18 inches tall full grown and the sweetest pets.take care and know that all who are on this thread are here for suport cause we have problems. and we get rubbed the wrong way easily. then we get the ignore button.
take care
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> At the moment, several of my friends are ignoring me and I don't know why. How do I cope with this?
>
> One of my friends says that he wants to be left alone. I feel very sad, I don't know what to do.
>
> Ed.
Posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2005, at 17:38:18
In reply to Re: Being ignored, posted by trucker on April 10, 2005, at 16:11:57
You know he is sick and it's not your fault. Again you demonstrate your caring and tenderness for others. I feel the same way. The first thing I do each day is look at my E-mail. I really don't have any friends in real life. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by trucker on April 10, 2005, at 21:07:32
In reply to Re: Being ignored, posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2005, at 17:38:18
you shouldn't say things here that can hurt or offend people. he is a nice person carring a full load with school and eveerything. be nice to ed.
trucker////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> You know he is sick and it's not your fault. Again you demonstrate your caring and tenderness for others. I feel the same way. The first thing I do each day is look at my E-mail. I really don't have any friends in real life. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2005, at 21:41:17
In reply to Re: Being ignored, posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2005, at 17:38:18
I love Ed. He is my "Buddy". Ed is not sick, he's doing the work of a million people to help others. In no way would I ever insinuate that Ed was not well. That would be a breach of confidentiality. I hope no one else took my post the wrong way. If you did I retract it. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by KaraS on April 11, 2005, at 1:22:21
In reply to Being ignored, posted by ed_uk on April 8, 2005, at 16:53:03
> At the moment, several of my friends are ignoring me and I don't know why. How do I cope with this?
>
> One of my friends says that he wants to be left alone. I feel very sad, I don't know what to do.
>
> Ed.
((((((Ed))))))You deserve to know why. Have you asked them outright what the reason is? Maybe they are not comfortable telling you the reason because they don't know how you'll react if they level with you. Do all of these friends hang out together or are they individual friends? If it's the former then it could be a snobby clique kind of thing but if it's individuals, then you may be doing something that is driving them away.
I feel so sad that you are going through this. This kind of thing hurts so much. I only hope that it's something you can learn from and eventually get your friends back - if they're the kind of friends who are worth it.
We all care you about you very much at PB and are here to support you!
Kara
xxxxxx
Posted by trucker on April 11, 2005, at 7:57:47
In reply to Re: Being ignored » ed_uk, posted by KaraS on April 11, 2005, at 1:22:21
well if it is a true friend, not a steping stone, they will stand by you thru thick and thin, they won't hurt you unless constructively, they won't forget about you just cause they have a new date.they will let you know they will be busy at such and such a time. and they will give you explainations of why they haven't been available.etc... i went thru this and it hurts. but i guess they weren't friends after all. i was just a stepping stone for them till they found someone else who suited them and their needs.
(((((ED)))))
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////
>
> I feel so sad that you are going through this. This kind of thing hurts so much. I only hope that it's something you can learn from and eventually get your friends back - if they're the kind of friends who are worth it.
>
> We all care you about you very much at PB and are here to support you!
>
> Kara
> xxxxxx
>
>
>
>
Posted by ed_uk on April 11, 2005, at 14:51:22
In reply to are you feeling better? I hope so :), posted by Jai Narayan on April 9, 2005, at 8:31:25
Hi Everyone!
Thank you all for your kind messages :-) I am feeling a bit better now. I think I am sometimes too demanding of my friends, sometimes people need some space and time to think, especially when they are ill. I will try not to be so demanding, perhaps my friends will want to speak to me again soon.
Ed xxxxxxxxx
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