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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:38:19
With the talk of transference/countertransference and various other topics on the board, a question comes to mind...
If you have big problems with self-image, particularly appearance, do you think it's helpful for therapists to be truthful in their opinions of how you look?
My former T told me once that she thought I was very pretty, but that it didn't matter what she thought b/c I wouldn't believe her until I allowed myself to. And she was right. I still don't.
I mean, I don't have three heads (no offense to any of you who DO happen to have three heads), people don't run away from me in fear, and children don't hide their faces and cry when they see me. So I assume that I look 'normal' - whatever that is. But I have such a HUGE problem with feeling attractive - even when I try to dress up, I just feel frumpy.
But I'm so afraid to *ask*. Because, really, I don't know what good it would do. I guess my pdoc's opinion, as a man, would matter most to me, but I'm afraid of what he would say. Because if he told me I was attractive, I wouldn't believe him, but if he told me otherwise, I would feel even worse, even though he would've just validated what I already believed about myself (or perhaps *because* he would have validated those beliefs).
I guess it's a catch-22. I know that some of you talk about your T's being very honest with you in the area of attractiveness and what you might do to appear more attractive, but I'm wondering if you think this is helpful.
And please don't get me wrong - I'm not saying that looks are everything or are even that important. But I do know that I expect OTHER people to place a great deal of emphasis on appearance, at least when first meeting someone, so I let my 'unattractiveness' prevent me from doing things - like flirting. Or dating. or whatever...
P
Posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:42:02
In reply to therapists/pdocs and honest opinions..., posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:38:19
Whoops.
Dr. Bob - can you fix?
thanks.
P
Posted by Dinah on January 30, 2004, at 11:06:04
In reply to Re: intended this for babble-psychology..., posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:42:02
And here's a link
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307260.html
Posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 11:08:01
In reply to Re: Fixed :) » Penny, posted by Dinah on January 30, 2004, at 11:06:04
This is the end of the thread.
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