![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on September 29, 2003, at 18:43:03
OK, it's week 8 of the career sabbatical-- and I've officially got too much time on my hands.
I'm feeling strong impulse to fall back on my old coping mechanisms-- drinking and trying to whip up romantic/sexual intrigue where there's little chance of payoff.
I'm just bored and lonely. My time-off plan doesn't have enough fun stuff in it. I can't do this house puttering cleanup cleanout fixup stuff all day long and all evening. I have regular activities 3 times a week but it isn't enough. Doesn't fill enough time.
How do I have fun? Without adequate companionship. Without spending a bundle. Without self-destructive activities. Nothing sounds appealing but the bad stuff.
Probably should do that phone session with the therapist. Crud.
Posted by octopusprime on September 29, 2003, at 22:30:29
In reply to Too Much Time!, posted by Tabitha on September 29, 2003, at 18:43:03
Tabitha:
I took a nine-month "sabbatical" once. (um, yeah, let's just call it a sabbatical.) And a two month "sabbatical" later on.
Here are some of the things I did for fun:
* Walk in the park, walk on nearby trails, etc. This works better in a temperate climate. I would also suggest the beach, but I don't know if you have one.
* Went to the library, read in the magazine room.
* Cooking! I know cooking for one does not sound appealing. But bake your own bread (I especially like banana bread), make small stir-fries or pasta dishes for dinner, invite friends over for dinner parties so you can trot out the more complex recipes, freeze sauces and leftovers, etc. This has the added bonus of being cheaper than prepared food.
* Swimming. I got some lengths in at the noon swim at the local pool.
* Cheap movie matinees. There is a movie theatre here that costs $5 for the afternoon matinee. Nicer than renting a video, and about the same price as renting a new release.
* Investigate local museums/galleries/etc. Many museums and galleries have a cheap or free evening once a week. Visit then.
* Cable TV and/or the internet - great for those unmotivated days. I think I watched the entire LA Law, Law & Order, and Simpsons series.
* Used book stores for those days you want to splurge and shop.
* Complex body care rituals. I would make a steaming hot bowl of mint tea, put my face over the bowl, and then put a towel over my head to give myself a facial. Showers? No way! 1/2 hour + long daily baths. A friend of mine was also on "sabbatical", we taught each other some massage techniques with the help of a book from the friendly local library.
* Can't flog the library enough. It's free.
* Babysit your neighbour's kids. You get to play with all their toys. Works best if neighbourhood children are of the co-operative, non-screaming, non-bratty variety.
* Bargain shopping. This is how you can really kill some time. Find the best produce store, deli, fish market, general grocery store, cheap clothing outlets, vintage clothing stores, etc. Buy a small number of items in each store, but visit many places and research any purchasing decision thoroughly.I suppose artsy things like painting or crafts might be too expensive - although you can get a satisfactory set of oil paints to start with for $100 (in Canada) and then paint on canvasses that cost about $5/each. Journaling is also good. A creative outlet is a big plus when you're on sabbatical.
I found the big thing with my "sabbatical" was having something to show for my day every day. I felt much more accomplished on a day that I cooked a big meal, went on a long hike, or did something else that required some effort on my part.
whew! With all those options, I don't know how people manage to work! Somedays I miss my sabbatical. (Other days I know I was miserable and spent the whole day in my PJs watching TV and surfing the net).
I hope you got some good ideas. I left out the ones I didn't do personally, like volunteer or take swing dance lessons or take up yoga or meditate, but you could try those too.
Posted by Dinah on September 30, 2003, at 7:32:18
In reply to Too Much Time!, posted by Tabitha on September 29, 2003, at 18:43:03
Posted by Penny on September 30, 2003, at 8:30:11
In reply to Re: Too Much Time!, posted by octopusprime on September 29, 2003, at 22:30:29
Oh man...now I wish *I* was on a sabbatical!!! During my time off last summer, I spent part of the time in a group therapy day program at the local hospital (was very helpful), was still nannying part of the time so I didn't have tons of free time then, but then I moved and had lots of free time but essentially just got depressed and spent most of my time in bed. :-(
Your ideas sound like much more fun.
P
Posted by HS on September 30, 2003, at 9:13:42
In reply to Re: Too Much Time! » octopusprime, posted by Penny on September 30, 2003, at 8:30:11
Hi Tabitha et al
The whole "sabatical" thing is extremely difficult. I have recently been so ill that I contemplated stopping work, but decided that being home alone was worse than turning up and at least seeing people. I did tell my boss what was going on, because obviously my work has been suffering. Luckily he's been extremely supportive.
What does definitely help, and has been a huge support to me in the past, is cooking, as suggested by Octopusprime - there's something about being creative that is hugely gratifying at a time when nothing else is. It's also an excuse to invite people over (I find that spending time with caring and supportive friends over good food is something that really helps).
Taking exercise is probably the thing I find most difficult now and in the past - I know it's good for me, but the effort is just too great. Walking is the thing I've always got the most benefit from - being outside, even if it's only for a gentle 20 minute stroll around the park, even helps me with severe anxiety.
Going away also helps me - it doesn't have to be a luxury hotel, staying with friends somewhere different, particularly out in the country away from the city often helps me get out of a misery-rut.
For me, the worst thing is to have "activities" that I feel I have to do - they stop being a pleasure and become something that makes me more anxious and more depressed, but that could be me.
Funnily enough, the thing I enjoy most at the moment is having a leisurely breakfast using proper china and a teapot rather than a scruffy mug and a teabag. I think that even little things that feel like you're spoiling yourself (special meals not junk food, painting your toenails, going for a good haircut) can have huge benefits and don't have to cost a lot of money.
I really hope that things pick up for you - the problem always is that self-motivation is at rock bottom at a time when we really need it most!
Hang on in there!
Hetty
Posted by jay on September 30, 2003, at 23:31:56
In reply to Re: Trying to imagine. :( (nm) » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on September 30, 2003, at 7:32:18
Me too!! Man, I so baddddly wish I had the organization and even slightest inkling of desire to care about cleaning and fixing things. (Tabitha..I am not trying to minimize your distress.....I am just talking about that horrific sense of indifference that also plagues many of us.) It's like I really just don't care about things much anymore. I am still anxious, but intense anxiety makes me even more avoidant.
Oyyyyy...
Jay
Posted by noa on October 9, 2003, at 4:03:05
In reply to Too Much Time!, posted by Tabitha on September 29, 2003, at 18:43:03
I think that this is one of those confounding things about life. We usually are desperate for more open time, but then when we have plenty of it it's hard to deal with it because it's too unstructured.
Have you ever read "Finding Flow" by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi? He writes about how people spend their time and in which types of activities do people feel 'happy' and which type produce a feeling of "flow" which is maybe not 'happiness' but a good feeling of when our skills are challenged at just the right level so we feel good about ourselves.
One idea I can think of is maybe doing some kind of very part time volunteer work--something that you'd enjoy that you'd not have the time to do if you were working.
Good luck.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.