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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 7:35:37
It seems like the crying always starts on the drive home, I get overwhelmed and finaly can let out the tears.... I watched on my way home for places to run off the road... They have put guard rails around the posts of the bridges over the expressway. I thought that would be a good idea... 75 mph hitting a concret wall... what is the percentage of people who live through that?
WEll I finally got home a mess and watched some tv, and finally went to bed, tears and all. I am just so depressed and can not even think straight. I was about to fall asleep when my cell phone rang in the other room at about 12:00am... I decided to see who it was and it rang again.................... my heart dropped it was him. I just could not answer it, I was a mess and I know that he just was calling to tell me to stop calling him and leave him alone. It was your decision to leave me and all I have seen since is the bad side of you... I have heard it all before.
But no voice mail, and now I was upset again, and not sleeping. Did not get much sleep last night... it was just too painful. He was more than likely drinking and decided to call to tell me off. I don't want to be here... not at work.. not at home.. no where
I am so tired of being depressed and mental...
Posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 9:34:39
In reply to Why can't I let go?, posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 7:35:37
What a hard time.
I'm glad you didn't answer the phone. That is so hard to do. You deserve peace and happiness.
When I'm feeling as you do, if I can get myself to do one of my favorite things it really does help. My favorite things are: eating ice cream, swinging on swings, ice skating, blowing bubbles. There is a great book called "The Woman's Comfort Book" that has wonderful ideas of things to do.
Please take care of yourself.
Posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 11:45:44
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go? » giget, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 9:34:39
I just hope this feeling of worthlessness goes away soon. I do not want to live any more months with it. Thanks for your words. Hey and I am not tearing up right now... that is a nice change.
I so want to call him back and asked why he called. I know a terrible thing to do, but at least I know now that he will talk to me.
And that was also the respect issue, someone calls you call them back.
I should not do it, it will only cause more pain, but how do I not pick up and call him? Half the time I call, I only realize after I have called, and don't remember what I said. It seems like my heart just takes over my whole body and shuts down my brain.....
How do I not call him?
> What a hard time.
>
> I'm glad you didn't answer the phone. That is so hard to do. You deserve peace and happiness.
>
> When I'm feeling as you do, if I can get myself to do one of my favorite things it really does help. My favorite things are: eating ice cream, swinging on swings, ice skating, blowing bubbles. There is a great book called "The Woman's Comfort Book" that has wonderful ideas of things to do.
>
> Please take care of yourself.
Posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 12:38:30
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go? » fallsfall, posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 11:45:44
Get out of the house and go to a movie. I saw Legally Blond the other day. What a silly movie. But it had no violence and no sex - imagine a movie without those. It really was funny. I also saw Finding Nemo. That was a really cute movie (though I thought it dragged a little in the middle - get popcorn then). Again, really mindless.
Pretend you have $500 to spend and go to the mall to decide what you will spend it on (Do NOT do this if you have a shopping addiction). Don't really buy the stuff... But looking and choosing should take some concentration.
Go to the library, choose a good book (on whatever you like - or try Juvenile fiction, my favorite - try "Frindle" or "101 Ways to Bug Your Parents"), sit there in the peace of the library and read.
Buy one of those balsa airplanes and find a beach or a meadow or a parking lot. Buy bubbles at the same time (if you find a park with kids, they will chase them. My dog likes to jump up and eat them).
You want to call because you think that calling will make you feel better (even temporarily). You need to find something else that will make you feel better because you know that calling will make it worse in the long run. I think that the key is to be away from your phone (leave your cell phone behind, too) and do something that is unusual or silly that will occupy your thoughts for a little while.
Go to a bookstore, buy a copy of "The Woman's Comfort Book" and find a peaceful place to read it.
You can do this. Be good to yourself.
Posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 12:46:14
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go? » giget, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 12:38:30
Thanks for the suggestions...
I will have to skip on the shopping one though, I have recently bought anything I can get my hands on... so I don't think so.
I have been going to the library once a day for the past week, and that helps.
I just look at how it was from the outside, we both seemed so happy and loving with eachother in front of others.
I truthfully do not have anything that makes me feel as good as that. I might have fun with something, but that is just putting off the feelings until I am done.
Why can't I just let go? I have had 2 years so far to figure out how to let go and I still have no clue.
I did howevery color my hair last night. I bought the boxes a month ago, just never did it. I am one who is constantly coloring my hair, so it was not something radical or anything, just the normal color.
Posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 12:50:53
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go? » giget, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 12:38:30
Oh.. yeah.. I forgot to tell you.
I had a wonderful experience at my parents house helping them pack. The first room was fine and quick...
Then she told me to pack away all her pictures. I am closing everything up and under a box is all of the pictures of me and him. I sat and just cryed.
I asked her later, if she had hid something and she said no... I said the pictures and her jaw dropped. She had put them there so I would not find them and did not realize when she asked me to pack the pictures. She also took alot of the pictures and put them in another room with my name on them, so I would not find them.
5 years is a long time to go from utterly in love and fullfilled to this....
I just want my old life back, to be happy for just a moment. To feel that security of a hug or a glance that tells you, you are not alone.......
Posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 15:00:39
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go?, posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 12:50:53
I could be wrong, but I think that you are still hoping that you *can* return to that life. It sounds to me like that isn't going to happen. I'm sorry, but that is what I hear. I think that you are going to stay in that pain until you decide that that part of your life is over, but you HAVE a life in the future. I think that the key to your happiness is focusing on the future, not the past. You have a future, and you can make it what you want it to be. Choose something great!
Posted by giget on July 18, 2003, at 15:05:34
In reply to Re: Why can't I let go? » giget, posted by fallsfall on July 18, 2003, at 15:00:39
Thanks for the posts fallsfall, I guess sometimes we need someone to tell us straight out what is going on. That is why I come here, you do not know my life or the things that go on, only what I tell you. You are an outside person... Which is nice.
Well I best get going... I am heading home to get some, hopefully, rest!
Have a good weekend!
> I could be wrong, but I think that you are still hoping that you *can* return to that life. It sounds to me like that isn't going to happen. I'm sorry, but that is what I hear. I think that you are going to stay in that pain until you decide that that part of your life is over, but you HAVE a life in the future. I think that the key to your happiness is focusing on the future, not the past. You have a future, and you can make it what you want it to be. Choose something great!
This is the end of the thread.
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