![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sar on March 6, 2002, at 17:34:07
dear Mair,
you are a badass. i just wanted to thank you for being so attentive to me, along with contributing so much to the board.
you never did tell me which Bobby/Janis/Doors songs you like(d)...
love,
sar
Posted by Mair on March 7, 2002, at 22:21:49
In reply to Mair, posted by sar on March 6, 2002, at 17:34:07
Sar - that was really nice of you to think of me. I dragged myself into work this morning really depressed because I had this very angry telephone conversation last night with my aged father who's always, consciously or unconsciously, been able to push all of the wrong buttons with me. He was calling to tell me how unbelievably pissed he was at me for not keeping him more up to date with stuff going on with my kids. The real deal is that he's absolutely right. I'm very uncomfortable around him and, consciously or unconsciously, keep contacts to a minimum. It's pretty unfair to be as neglectful as I am - he's old and while we may not have been the best father-daughter fit, unlike you, I have no awful stories of abuse to tell. It makes me feel like the poster child for how not to treat parents, and a pretty miserable role model for my teenage children who surely heard my end of this awful conversation.
Anyway, your post gave me a real lift.
Mair
Posted by sar on March 8, 2002, at 10:21:08
In reply to Thank you Sar, posted by Mair on March 7, 2002, at 22:21:49
dear Mair,
dads...aarrrgggh! i think the roles reverse as people age, like the child crying for candy, throwing the parent into a whirl of frustration...and later on it's the parent crying for attention, spinning the adult child down a vortex of guilt.
i don't think it matters that you don't have stories of abuse to tell. that's a different issue. just because he didn't hit you or call you names, it *sounds* to me like he did something that obviously makes you hesitant to maintain contact.
a friend told me a couple of years ago to treat everyone with compassion and equanimity...i had to look that second one up in the dictionary...he told me this after i'd accidentally hurt a few people...anyway, i've been meditating on that one for about 2 years now. i think he got it from some Buddhist reading he'd been doing.
can you make your telephone calls in private, where your kids can't hear?
anyway--i hope you can feel grateful in some small way that he cares about your kids. seems like it's a sign that he cares about you...
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.