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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kid_A on February 1, 2002, at 14:06:03
In my ever expanding quest to somehow provide entertainment and (perchance, if only!) true love to the readers of PSB I've collected a random sampling of personal ads from the Orlando Weekly birdcage liner... no wait scratch that, I meant NEWSPAPER... For your pleasure and enjoyment... Am I being redundant? Can you be pleased at something unenjoyable... Perhaps when a brick falls on someone you don't like... without miring ourselves in too much semantics, lets just procede with the personals... Plus points are given for craftiness, honesty, or just plain sheer DESPERATION.... Ready? Here we go:==WOMEN SEEKING MEN==
a)HONEST GIRL - Fun-loving, outgoing, scincere blond SWF, 35, enjoys the outdoors and watching the sunset. Seeking honest caring SM, 30 to 40, for friendship first, possible LTR.*** Editors note: outgoing? is there any personal ad that ISNT outgoing? who wants to put that they are lethargic in their personal ad!?!?? come on people...
b)SOFISTICATED ITALIAN - Romantic, affectionate, charming, sincere (ed: whoo lotsa sincerity going around), honest SWF 44 5'6 100lbs, dark hair/eyes N/S N/D (ed: i have NO idea what that stands for), seeks handosme, romantic sophisticated drug free, SWM 50-58 for LTR (ed: well f**k me running, on all counts thats my out...)
c)CARPE DIEM... Adventurous, blue-eyed blonde, tan, shapely, pretty (ed: who would say they were ugly!!?), happy, creative, energetic, ...still turning heads at 53! I enjoy hiking, SCUBA diivng, rollerball, tennis, golf. Seeking SM for friendship first.
==MEN SEEKING WOMEN==
a)JUST A REGULAR GUY - Single white male, 31, coledge-educated, non-smoker, in search of an interesting lady, 18-35, for relationship. I enjoy movies, concerts, and just hanging out.Ed note: this guy should have titled his ad JOHN DOE
b)LONELY TEDDY BEAR - DWM 33, 5'8", N/S (ed: wtf? ohh.... must be non smoker/ N/D = non drug... wow, you can learn a lot from reading personal ads!), dark blond/blue, likes snuggling, (ed: awwwwwh), photography, stock car racing, football, In search of S/DWF, 30-45 with same interests.
c)ISLAND PRINCE - Loving, humorous, intelligent, easygoing Jamaican, 47, smoker (ed: yeah! we know what you're smokin' Jah Rastafari!), seeks attractive, intelligent, easygoing (ed: sorry, me again, who in the world would seek someone stupid uptight and ugly!!!??), down-to-earth SF 36-46 for LTR.
...
...Okay, I'm sorry to all that I skipped the alternative lifestyle sections, I'm at work and my wrists are funking into a serious case of carpal tunnel syndrome and I just don't wanna write anymore... feel free to add your own if you want... In stead, I suggest just imagining that the person is lookiing for someone of the similar sex, these ads are all pretty much the same anyways...
Enjoy! And have a sexy day!
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on February 1, 2002, at 17:54:32
In reply to YNot rate a random selection of personal ads? , posted by kid_A on February 1, 2002, at 14:06:03
> ==WOMEN SEEKING MEN==
> a)LONESOME GIRL - Fungal-infested, agrophobic, bleached blond , 55, enjoys the indoors and watching the pidgeons. Seeking honest daring , 30 to 40, for sex first, possible friendship.>
> b)INTOXICATED ITALIAN - Romantically challenged, seasonal affective disordered, harmful, sincere well endowed 44 5'6 , dark hair, seeks wasted, sophisticated druggy,
>
> c)CARPET CLEANER... Adventurous, red-eyed blonde, shapely- pretty large really, well ok HUGE, miserable, dull, lazy, ...still turning stomaches at 48! I enjoy self abuse, SCUBA diving, rollerblinds , tennis, God. Seeking rich mistress for feather fetish.
>
>
> ==MEN SEEKING WOMEN==
> a)JUST A REGULAR GUY WITH FRIES- Single white male, 31, recently colic irrigated ,chain-smoker, in search of an interesting lady, 18-35, for relationship. I enjoy moments, seconds, just hanging out for hours.
>
>
> b)LONELY HAIRY STUD- 33, 5'8 ohh.... must be non smoker dark blond/blue, likes snuggling, (ed: awwwwwh), photography, racing, football, In search 30-45 with NO interests but broad thighs.
>
This is the end of the thread.
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