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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 208 to 232 of 299. Go back in thread:
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:58:59
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man!, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 12:27:23
Yes, quickly, catch a fast one that looks like it can run and out to the borders of Lumptonia please ride. Fast as the west Texas wind!
Now, I am writing as fast as I can in the Official Archives, ...ivory handed...fox hunting...whip. Whip? (A side of the CPE I'm sure none but her WH knew existed!) I will be contacting you later for more detailed information on the various uses of your whip. I assume it's a long one so you can flick it from your couch and get someone's attention.
Have you knee-high boots as well? Leather vest? Leather dog collar with spikes? It seems so unlikely......
The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> Dear HC,
>
> I volunteer! I even have the appropriate whip!It's a gorgeous, ivory-handed fox-hunting whip and it can be effective in capturing the fleeing HM without having to leave my saddle . . .ehh...couch... COUCH!!!!
>
> CPE Couch Person Equestrian
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 13:08:44
In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:46:40
Esteemed Labassator,
I hate to beat a dead horse (so to speak), but must I remind you once again that you need to be ready to salute the single Lumptonian females on demand? Should you insist upon relieving yourself of this responsibility (so to speak) you might find yourself in the midst of an uprising, or in midst of an angry group if no uprising occurs. Ssssiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I am amazed how often I must remind you of your responsibility, and still you take things into your own hands!
To the Doghouse!
The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> > As Prime Ministress, but more importantly, National Choreographer, we're considering whether our esteemed Ambassador needs a Spell Checker (a position needing to be filled), or needs to simply pantomime his thoughts and words. Being politically astute, the Prime Ministress is finding it more and more difficult to believe that our esteemed Ambassador would inadvertently transpose words.
> > We may be asking for a recount.
> >
>
> Dearest Prime Ministeress Emmanuela,
>
> The Ambassador's eyeballs stared in horror and disbelief at the implication of the confused sentence which his new fingers wrote. His eyeballs then glared at his new fingers, but the fingers only pointed back accusingly. Concerned with these strange manifestations the Ambassador contacted The Personal Medical Council To The Ambassador.
>
> The three council members quickly diagnosed the problem which, as it turns out, emanates from two of the lower regions of the Ambassador's private area. They assured the Ambassador that the condition was easily remediable, but preferred he take the matter in his own hands. By doing so they believe his condition and it's associated discoloration will soon disappear.
>
> On a positive note they all agreed that particular shade of blue matches the Ambassador's eyes very well.
>
> Your loving Labrassator,
>
> B
Posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 13:29:18
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man! » coral, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:58:59
Secondly, this was posted with a new subjectline, and thus stuck far far away from our Circle of Lumptoniasticists.
Choreographic Blessings
Upon Noa - Having slimed my way to the computer, the Official Stance exaggerated so that the loose limbed
useless arms were hanging even lower, being unable to fight (what a silly anti-Lumptoniastic concept!) off the
crawling anxiety and depression, noa's Voting in Butterflies brought a loud guffaw to my normally demure
demeanor. Blessings on you noa. Thank you.
Your National Choreographer.Firstly, And this for all the Citizenry: I am at this very moment Choreographing a Re-entry Shuffle for Greg. There has been a Recount, and lo! and behold, Greg is deeply esteemed and deeply wanted and deeply out of the doo-doo in which he was mistakenly placed. If Greg continues in this vein of leaving, I shall need to (just the thought of it makes a nap imperative now) choreograph yet another dance in which Shar, Coral, Labadassador, noa, and S.Howard will need to learn the movements to a 'Come Hither' Dance. Would you actually put us all through this? We beg you, stand up and make your Acceptance Speech and come back to The Fold - we need you. It is simply too hard of a burden for the Ambassador to bear the nether shades of blue all by Himself. We shall provide succor and even ice cream to the hurting heart of our Havenmaster.
Being the Prime Ministress, you'll need to do what I say, or be, and we ain't just whistling Dixie, truly Politically Incorrect.Respectfully as always, your Prima Ministrette and Knashunul Koreogrupher (and tell me, really, you can be honest, do I look fat in this tutu?)
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 13:36:06
In reply to Re: Treatise for the Ladies of Lumptonia » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 12:46:40
Calmer now, the Ambassador is VERY encouraged by the results of his first self-administered treatment as was suggested by his physicians and as we speak, issuhh beguhinn-ning his s-second wunn.
Heeee uh, w-w-wooooooehhhhld like to ummmmmmmmmmmmhhfff ...thank the good people uuuuhhhhvvvvv ...Lumptonzia for theirt5 sssshhhheeeeewwwwweeeeeee!!!! p[ati8ent under bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh! ...st6andingb and ho-o-o-o-opes-s-s-sooooooon to beeeeeeoooOOOOWWWWHH!...hisssssssshit! o;ldx selfffffffffffffh azgain.
Guh-guh-guuuhotttttaaa go0p-[=.
Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 14:05:37
In reply to New Citizen of Lumptonia » Hannah, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 12:15:35
Yes I do wish to encourage everyone to hate misogyny and abuse or rather to encourage respect and tolerance. If that makes me unwelcome, I'm sorry.
> Hello, Hannah.
>
> As the Herstorical Curator of Lumptonia and High Priestess of Research, I would like to welcome you to this thread which is about Lumps, Lumptonians, Blobs, Sticky Brown Lips, the Official Walk, and all other humorous things Lumptonian. This thread consists of people playing and having fun; I'm sure you know how rare that is for us (insert diagnosis). I hope you will be able to join us.
>
> I will warn you that not every word written here is politically or otherwise correct, The Herstorical Curator being one of the worst offenders. I can assure you, though, that every word I've read has been written in the spirit of fun, lightheartedness, playfulness, humor, and a lack of malintent, and a lack of attacks on others. I hope you can join us in this endeavor toward keeping Lumptonia safe for everyone.
>
> Should you not be able to join us, I hope you will be able to state your negative feelings elsewhere. (The Herstorical Curator is confused about why you have insisted on continuing to post here since you have made your point in your first post.)
>
> You've said what you needed or wanted to say about your opinion of the Havenmaster's post, and received an apology. Is there more of particular import that you wish to add? Is there anything different that you wish to say? The Herstorical Curator is confused about what should go into the Official Archives; repetition of the same position will make the archives far too voluminous.
>
> And, the Herstorical Curator reiterates that she does not see the abuse in the post in question. Ism's don't necessarily equal abuse, in the HC's esteemed opinion. "Ism" means that one group is treated in a distinctly separate way from another, usually to their detriment. Here in Lumptonia, when writing with humor, I venture to say that the particular ism (sexism) to which you refer was barely even that. A parody of relationships, yes; but a serious denigration or discrimination against women? The HC would need to make a lonnnggg stretch to get to that point.
>
> If you wish to stay in Lumptonia, you are welcome. If you wish to draw the HC (and perhaps others who share the HC's position) into your reality and experience, and into the hatred of misogyny and abuse, that is not as welcome.
>
> However, the HC realizes by your insistence in posting on this thread, you may not care about what impact you are having on the others here, since you continue to post here. The HC would not expect that to change in the future, but desperately hopes that, having stated your position fully and in more than one post here, you can join us in fun or leave us to our fun.
>
> The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
>
>
>
>
> > HI Shar If you're a feminist you'll probably recognize me as one of those uppity women who doesn't know her place :o)
> >
> > I think it's important to confront abuse in the place where it is happening. It's not something to sweep under the rug (or onto another thread).
> >
> > I don't have any distaste or offense against Greg as a person. It was against the things he posted. I admire his sensitivity for recognizing that he was offending someone and hurting someone and taking responsibility for it.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > > I agree this should stay a separate thread, and let us ignernt other females/ladies/women/xx's have a little fun in Lumptonia.
> > >
> > > When I read Greg's post, it never occurred to me that he was being insulting, because these are some of the things that have happened in relationships of mine. Ie, the PMS thing, the grey hair, not so much the misunderstanding.
> > >
> > > Having been in a verbally and psychologically abusive relationship for too many years (divorced about 4 years ago and haven't dated since) I know what hurts me, I know the grinding hatred that the true misogynist uses whether in jest or while being serious. I know the shame associated with trying to live up to impossible "standards" that change in case you meet them. I know what it's like to hate myself because of the constant daily battering of verbal abuse.
> > >
> > > I believe Greg is a Good Guy, he has become a good friend (one of the only males I've ever felt safe with). If all or part of what he says offends you, you are certainly entitled to your feelings and opinions, and I hope you will discuss them in this thread instead of bringing your distaste and offense for Greg into a thread where people are actually playing. Very rare for (insert diagnosis) to do; having fun.
> > >
> > > BTW, I have been a Raging Feminist since the 70's and I take no prisoners, shoot straight, with no bull. Over the years, I've mellowed some, but will not stand for openly misogynistic statements here or anywhere else in my life.
> > >
> > > Shar
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > I guess I should just be a good little lump (hey maybe a coal lump?) and get myself off this thread and cease being uppity and stop complaining and start myself a separate but equal thread. But I think it's important to speak up and support people who are hurt by this kind of thing. Abuse of women includes verbal abuse and being couched in humor doesn't change that. I don't think you have to hurt other people to cheer yourself up. I don't think respecting other people is political correctness, I think it's treating people the way you would want to be treated.
> >
Posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 14:09:31
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man!, posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 13:29:18
How could the Politically Correct Prime Ministress overlook putting racer's name in the 'Come Hither' Dance being choreographed? Deep apologies - I think perhaps the speed conjured up by the name was just too much for the P.M. to contemplate.
Posted by Hannah on November 9, 2000, at 14:14:37
In reply to Re: To Greg, posted by S. Howard on November 9, 2000, at 12:05:28
In case you didn't see my earlier post I reposted it-note especially " minimizing things that are important to another"
If you don't agree with me, I respect that. Greg apologized. I accepted. Why isn't this over? Is there some reason to make fun of me? I don't want a hug just to be respected.
> This is a good link. Although it is specifically written for emotional/verbal abuse of a partner I think it could be generalized to any human relationship.
> http://www.cawc.org/a_verbal.html
>
> I am copying part of it below. I wouldn't have had the courage to object if alice hadn't spoken up. But it did indeed make me feel many of the feelings described. (But feeling like I should be a "good sport" and not object.) And having it minimized or told that I "shouldn't" object didn't help. I'm not crazy or irrational or unreasonable.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> VERBAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE
>
> Some definitions: Verbal assaults, manipulative and or controlling behaviors toward a partner which cause that person to feel afraid, confused, overwhelmed, threatened, powerless, crazy, inadequate, frustrated, or rejected.
>
> The purpose of the verbal assaults and manipulations is to gain and maintain power over the partner. Forms of verbal and emotional abuse include, but are not limited to:
>
>
> • name-calling
> • making jokes at other's expense X
> • yelling
> • accusing
> • blaming
> • criticizing
> • threatening
> • refusing to talk
> • making degrading remarks X
> • arguing
> • put-downs X
> • judging X
> • demanding
> • ordering a person to do something
> • minimizing things that are important to the other X
> • denying previous abusive words and behaviors X
>
> I Xed some of the more applicable.
> > > how offensive this is to intelligent, thinking women. (NOT LADIES)
> >
> > I agree. It is very offensive. I hope you reconsider posting this sort of "humor". I don't think I can change your mind but could you just respect those of us who are offended by not posting it? Perhaps you could use private e-mail for this sort of thing?
> **************************************************
> Sounds like somebody needs a hug!!
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 14:33:56
In reply to Ladies of Lumptonia » B Day, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 13:08:44
> Esteemed Labassator,
>
> I hate to beat a dead horse (so to speak), but must I remind you once again that you need to be ready to salute the single Lumptonian females on demand? Should you insist upon relieving yourself of this responsibility (so to speak) you might find yourself in the midst of an uprising, or in midst of an angry group if no uprising occurs. Ssssiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
>
> I am amazed how often I must remind you of your responsibility, and still you take things into your own hands!
>
> To the Doghouse!
>
> The Right Honorable Herstorical Curator and High Priestess of Research
>-------------------------------------------------
...since ONCE AGAIN it appears I am going to be here for awhile.
I would like to thank the HC&HPR for also once again reminding the Ambassador of his firm responsiblity.
Perhaps the single Lumpettes can suggest ways the Ambassador might best bone-up for the open challenges facing him so he may embrace them with more diverse and meaningful input.
The Ambassador will refrain from bringing up the subject again and will eagerly look forward to seeing it raised in the capable hands of our "intelligent and thinking", SINGLE women.
Licking his Sticky Brown Lips and feeeeeeelin' deeelicious,
Your Labrassador ...woooof Woooof!
Posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 14:39:45
In reply to Treatment Update: A Note To The People, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 13:36:06
Esteamed Lamrador - though your people are rejoicing that you have taken your business into your own hands, as Prime Ministress I would caution you to perhaps be more circumspect (but how could I know that?) in allowing them to know more than they ever wanted to know about the Ambassador's Business. And another word of caution re: overdoing prescribed medical treatment: the Ladies of the Kingdom without a WH must never have the feeling that there is any risk to them of any feeling of even the contemplation of deprivation.
As always, your Prime Ministress is pleased to know that you are holding yourself in high regard.
P.M.
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 14:56:12
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man!, posted by Emmanuela on November 9, 2000, at 13:29:18
That's "Guffawing Out Loud", in response to your "firstly" comments.
I understand why you are the PM supreme, truly a gifted wit.
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 15:11:34
In reply to Re: HC yells: Arrest that man!--GOL!!!, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 14:56:12
I am beginning to think we need to establish a new cabinet position, namely Czar of the Innuendo Enforcement Agency, as it appears that innuendo has proliferated increasingly, and high government officials might even be trafficking in innuendo right under the people's noses!
That our dear beloved Lump homeland might be under the control of Innuendo Kingpins is a frightening prospect that must be addressed host paste!
If the proliferation of innuendo escalates, this citizen feels compelled to bring charges of impeachment on the grounds that higher officials of the land, in trafficking in innuendo, are beginning to show signs of----gasp----hypomania. And it is know far and wide in the land that hypomania is like a cancer upon the Lumps, and threatens the very being of our lumpness.
Posted by jules on November 9, 2000, at 15:46:29
In reply to Re: New Cabinet position required, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 15:11:34
I was wondering when someone would get around to saying this...way to go Noa!
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 16:01:18
In reply to Re: New Cabinet position required, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 15:11:34
A MOST Excellent suggestion Astute Noa! The Ambassador hopes you will be the one to assume the very position you speak of and is fully willing to put the full weight of his support behind you!
The Ambassdor will be looking hard for innuendo everywhere. If he comes across any, he will see it's sent to your attention.
Your Innuendo-sniffing Ambassador,
Mr. B
-------------------------------
> I am beginning to think we need to establish a new cabinet position, namely Czar of the Innuendo Enforcement Agency, as it appears that innuendo has proliferated increasingly, and high government officials might even be trafficking in innuendo right under the people's noses!
>
> That our dear beloved Lump homeland might be under the control of Innuendo Kingpins is a frightening prospect that must be addressed host paste!
>
> If the proliferation of innuendo escalates, this citizen feels compelled to bring charges of impeachment on the grounds that higher officials of the land, in trafficking in innuendo, are beginning to show signs of----gasp----hypomania. And it is know far and wide in the land that hypomania is like a cancer upon the Lumps, and threatens the very being of our lumpness.
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 16:48:30
In reply to Re: New Cabinet position required » noa, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 16:01:18
Nice try, Mr. Ambassador, but please, sniff no further, Your Excellency, and you should be able to detect some of the stuff close by, I fear.
This is an intervention, sire. Your closest allies have gathered to confront you about your innuendo habit, because we fear it is undermining your ability to carry out your official duties as most honorable ambassador of our dear land.
But you are not the only dear nobleperson who needs such an intervention. Perhaps you can redeem and reclaim your honor by intervening with other lumps led astray by the lure of innuendo.
Posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 17:09:58
In reply to Re: New Cabinet position required, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 15:09:41
As Historical Curator, I have tried as subtly as possible to ensure that the single females of Lumptonia be happy and fulfilled citizens. If, in my trying, I used Innuendo, it was only an effort to be as inoffensive as possible. However, I shall stop anent and know that as a single female citizen of Lumptonia, I will need to go beyond its shores and borders at times, risking life and limb, and hoping to have the energy to return safely to the couch. Of course, females with WH's will have no such worries.
I believe you will be an excellent Czar, and as befits the will of some of the People, I will Innuendo No More!
The Right Honorable Historical Curator and High Priestess of Research
> I am beginning to think we need to establish a new cabinet position, namely Czar of the Innuendo Enforcement Agency, as it appears that innuendo has proliferated increasingly, and high government officials might even be trafficking in innuendo right under the people's noses!
>
> That our dear beloved Lump homeland might be under the control of Innuendo Kingpins is a frightening prospect that must be addressed host paste!
>
> If the proliferation of innuendo escalates, this citizen feels compelled to bring charges of impeachment on the grounds that higher officials of the land, in trafficking in innuendo, are beginning to show signs of----gasp----hypomania. And it is know far and wide in the land that hypomania is like a cancer upon the Lumps, and threatens the very being of our lumpness.
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 18:26:23
In reply to New Cabinet position: Czar Noa, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 17:09:58
Thank you for your prompt and honorable response to my call to action.
I dare not tread on your personal needs, but do appreciate your appreciation of the delicacy of this matter. Your favorable response will no doubt ensure the honor of the proceedings of our fair land, and will protect the comfort of all of our respected citizens who choose to partake of these proceedings. Let the public forum and chronicles of Lump be forever G-rated!
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 18:49:59
In reply to New Cabinet position: Czar Noa, posted by shar on November 9, 2000, at 17:09:58
Dear Herstorical Curator, moderator of murky mysteries and mediator sublime, what the hell is an "anent" and how do you stop it??? As the keeper of the archives, language is your specialty but I am highly intelligent, well educated and can speak and write using more than one syllable per word .... except when in my purest Lump form. Does an "anent" have any connection to the innuendoes that are flying around? (Is flying allowed by Lumps???)
Is the rumor true that ole Puppy Paws has been digging up a bone?CPE (confused person extraordaire) Ain't acronyms great? They can mean sooooooo many things!!!!
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:00:13
In reply to Re: to Shar - huh?????, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 18:49:59
Anent--great crossword puzzle word, crossword puzzles being one of the more ambitious pastime activities of us Lumps--perhaps our favorite form of vigourous exercise!
But that does not mean that this Lump remembers what anent means. So, I defer to the chronicler to define.
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:08:37
In reply to Treatment Update: A Note To The People, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 13:36:06
To all dear Lumptonians,
My WH insisted that I confess to spending the entire, complete and whole afternoon out of Lumptonia and actually working with a client. Imagine my surprise when, upon returning home, I immediately dropped my "normal" clothing, donned the Lumptonian uniform of sweats, using the approved Lumptonian gait to retreat to my couch, sacred pillow and banky, and confessed only to find that my fellow and sister Lumptonians have been just a little bit more active than one would expect of Lumptonians.
Our Herstorical Curator is stopping anents, Noa's become Czar and guffawing, Emmanuella is choreographing a new step, everyone's chasing innuendoes and butterflies, the esteemed Labrassador has wired the dog house with cable and only the Goddess knows what the Messiahian's been doing!
WELL!!!Looks like I'm not the ONLY one who should be heading for the confessional!!!!!
CPE
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:11:27
In reply to Re: to Shar - huh?????, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:00:13
> Anent--great crossword puzzle word, crossword puzzles being one of the more ambitious pastime activities of us Lumps--perhaps our favorite form of vigourous exercise!
>
> But that does not mean that this Lump remembers what anent means. So, I defer to the chronicler to define.SHOW OFF!!!! Get THEE to a confessional, you butterfly chaser, you!
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:21:57
In reply to Re: confession, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:08:37
Help. Distress abounds because there has been an eruption of hurt feelings and misunderstood intentions flying this way and that, and due to this, the Havenmaster is scarce. We fear he is badly wounded and we cannot coax him to respond to posts or emails.
Perhaps CPE can help?
Posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 19:24:14
In reply to Re: to Shar - huh?????, posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 18:49:59
...forward to G rating, back to Lumping!
The intervention has worked and the Ambassador is thrilled to announce that a miracle has occurred. He is cured!
This is not a trick!
The Ambassador regrets he had to take the sordid discussion so far in order to get you guys to stop talking about all that stuff.
The Ambassador was kidding just then!
...but the Ambassador was not funny, was he?
Once again your Ambassodor will attempt to stand partially upright on his hind legs and shuffle along using the nationally approved form of Lumptonian bipedal locomotion.
Additionally, the Ambassador has decided to lay off of health food for a while in that he suspects it may have contributed to his recent chemical imbalance.
Long Live Lumptonia and Praise Be To Her!
His Ol' Self,
Ambassador B
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:31:05
In reply to Re: CPE's help needed--serious matter at hand, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:21:57
Dear Czar Noa,
I will do anything within my power to bring our beloved and adored HavenMaster back to Lumptonia. In my opinion, as I have stated in other posts, I found NOTHING offensive in his words, actions or deeds. Furthermore, I sincerely believe in giving the benefit of the doubt which was not accorded to the HavenMaster. His wit, kindness, willingness to play, and generosity of spirit are very important to Lumptonians. I will use whatever means I have at my disposal to encourage his prompt and MUCH desired return to us.
Thank you for asking... I am honored.
CPE
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:38:10
In reply to Down with innuendos UP with metaphors!, posted by B Day on November 9, 2000, at 19:24:14
Guffawing Out Loud, of course.
Posted by coral on November 9, 2000, at 19:49:01
In reply to Re: Down with innuendos UP with metaphors!GOL » B Day, posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 19:38:10
Hey, Puppy Paws,
Jus' who you tryin' to fool, sweetie?
CPE (Sterling)
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