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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:36:21
I was wondering if anyone was able to get better without confronting their "issues"? I have an extreme trust problem with therapists (in my case a psychiatrist) and I seem to be unable to talk about anything. I think my meds have definitely calmed me down, but I'm just frozen in my sessions. And this is a nice person. I think I am incapable of discussing my baggage, I've pushed too much down and don't even remember everything. I feel like if I continue to go (3 days a week now), I'll just relapse with cutting or something worse. Do you think it would be a good idea to stay away for a while? Thanks.
Posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 17:53:13
In reply to I guess a psychology question?, posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:36:21
IMHO --
Have you said exactly this to your therapist? If not, this is where you should start. If you've already said it, this is the issue you and your therapist should focus on for now. You should not leave out the part about thinking about cutting.
Typically the therapist represents the mother or father (depending on sex), and authority figures in general. If you had early experiences that taught you not to trust (abuse, etc.) or that trusting authority figures was dangerous, it makes sense you would not be comfortable.
However, Judy, remember how awful it was a short while back. You are on your feet enough now to do some work on your issues, so you can move forward. It is very hard, I know, and I want to be encouraging you to be even more courageous than you've already been, and stick with it.
Good luck!
Shar
> I was wondering if anyone was able to get better without confronting their "issues"? I have an extreme trust problem with therapists (in my case a psychiatrist) and I seem to be unable to talk about anything. I think my meds have definitely calmed me down, but I'm just frozen in my sessions. And this is a nice person. I think I am incapable of discussing my baggage, I've pushed too much down and don't even remember everything. I feel like if I continue to go (3 days a week now), I'll just relapse with cutting or something worse. Do you think it would be a good idea to stay away for a while? Thanks.
Posted by Lexie on November 8, 2000, at 18:02:44
In reply to I guess a psychology question?, posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:36:21
The best advise I can give to you is DO NOT STAY AWAY!! I would go so far and then call and cancel my appointments. I was seeing a doctor and psychiatrist in the same office. My doctor told me we can't help you unless you are completly honest with us about how you are feeling, you have two people that really want to help you. My therapist told me it was important to tell him if we started to talk about anything that was to painful or if we went to fast, he wanted me to feel safe. I told him that I felt like I was trapped inside a "Onion" I was trying to get out we would peel away the layers but every now and then we would hit a layer that would feel like rock, I would be screaming to get out, nobody could hear me, I would get scared and call and cancel my appointments. I have been going once a week for a while now it's not alway's easy. But we are getting closer to the center of that "Onion". Good luck to you. I really hope you wont make the mistake I did and cancel any appointments. I wish you all the best. Lexie
Posted by Janice1 on November 8, 2000, at 21:14:02
In reply to I guess a psychology question?, posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:36:21
long time, no communication. I'm very sorry about your miscarriage and that you are in a depressive phase of your illness right now. I'll just share with you my experience with "my issues". Essentially, all my issues seemed to naturally melt away while finding the right combination of medications, pretty much effortlessly. What manic person has "issues"? Or maybe better said, how does a chronic cycling, manic depressive ever really know what their issues are, or the true degree or seriousness of their issues. "my issues" mostly existed when I was depressed.
If you experience bipolar like me, you will feel TOO much, FAR TOO much. I've spent my life generally failing at trying to stuff my emotions down. Although I'm doing wonderfully on my medications, I find I still must occassionally stuff my emotions down. When a friend suggested I try acting in a local theatre group, the fear I felt at the mere possibility of all those untamed, free, very dangerous feeling bipolar emotions scared the crap out of me.
I hope I've made some sense. I'm probably saying the opposite of what everyone else will tell you. I hope the very best for you. I would talk to other bipolar people about this.
Your friend, Janice
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 7:00:34
In reply to Hello Judy..., posted by Janice1 on November 8, 2000, at 21:14:02
I think it is important to have a healthy respect for your feelings of discomfort and fear about talking about issues. Forcing yourself to "open up" won't be helpful. The fact that you are having trust issues is probably what you should focus on, not the issues that you feel unable to discuss.
Forced exposure of issues can leave you too vulnerable. It makes sense that you are not wanting to talk about difficult stuff, because this stuff stimulates such intense feelings, and you have difficulty tolerating such intense feelings, which may be part of the reason for cutting.
The important thing is to discuss the trust issue, and to work with your therapist on how to make the therapy feel safe, and figure out how you can be in control of the boundaries of what you talk about.
Posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:16:22
In reply to Re: I guess a psychology question? » judy1, posted by shar on November 8, 2000, at 17:53:13
Dear Shar,
No, I haven't told him but you're right I probably should find the courage to. I think I'm the only person who takes a year to trust a therapist, and since the average length of time I see one in the last year has been about a month, this causes problems. Thanks for the input- Judy
Posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:22:07
In reply to Re: I guess a psychology question?, posted by Lexie on November 8, 2000, at 18:02:44
Dear Lexie,
I'm glad I'm not the only one- cancelling is definitely a pattern for me too. When I balked at making another appointment Monday, he asked if I was firing him. I felt awful so I made another appointment, but I really can't go. Maybe next week. Thanks, Judy
Posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:33:11
In reply to Hello Judy..., posted by Janice1 on November 8, 2000, at 21:14:02
Hi Janice,
I am really happy that you are doing well- what meds are you on now? You are absolutely right that when I am manic I have no issues. And I remember my old psychiatrist who knew me better than anyone, pretty much saying what you did. But this (the cutting and dissociation) is a different pattern for me- at least since I was in my 20's. It probably is happening because I'm depressed, and I wish a manic episode would appear and make this stop. I don't think it will though, and I swear I've hit every med (except lithium and I can't) Well, I was glad to hear from you and thank you- Judy
Posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:38:18
In reply to Re: Hello Judy..., posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 7:00:34
Hi Noa,
Yes, the big issue is trust- it always is. I think this is psychiatrist #8 or 9, and no matter how good some of them are (quite a few were awful), I can't allow myself to trust. And if I can't do that, I'm not going to get anywhere. Sorry, not real hopeful today. Take care, Judy
Posted by noa on November 9, 2000, at 14:44:59
In reply to Re: Hello Judy... » noa, posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:38:18
Well, if you don't feel you have control of how much you reveal, how fast, and when, etc. or that the therapist will help you from getting overwhelmed, it makes sense that you keep leaving therapy. If therapy is going to work, you need to at least let your therapist know that you are so uncomfortable you have been thinking of quitting therapy, because of the trust issue.
Hopefully, your therapist and you can discuss how to help you feel safer, and not rush you to reveal more than you feel safe doing.
How about writing a letter about this to the therapist? Sometimes it is easier in writing.
Posted by Janice1 on November 9, 2000, at 19:23:55
In reply to Re: Hello Judy... » Janice1, posted by judy1 on November 9, 2000, at 13:33:11
> Hi Janice,
> I am really happy that you are doing well- what meds are you on now? You are absolutely right that when I am manic I have no issues. And I remember my old psychiatrist who knew me better than anyone, pretty much saying what you did. But this (the cutting and dissociation) is a different pattern for me- at least since I was in my 20's. It probably is happening because I'm depressed, and I wish a manic episode would appear and make this stop. I don't think it will though, and I swear I've hit every med (except lithium and I can't) Well, I was glad to hear from you and thank you- Judy
Hi Judy,I'm on Lithium, Topamax, Wellbutrin and the birth control pill for my symptoms. I have done some self injurous behaviour (trichotillomania and eating disorders) but i don't believe I dissociate Judy. Noa gave some good advice about establishing boundaries around what to talk about. Have you ever heard of EMDR therapy? I had just started it before I got my bipolar under control - 2 sessions, but supposidly it can really help process traumatic painful memories. I'm not certain if it could help, but it may be worth looking into.
I don't blame you for not wanting to talk. I have always disliked talking intensely. Of course now that I feel better I think whatever talking I did do was a waste of time...but I know this isn't the case for everyone.
Wishing the best for you Judy,
Janice
Posted by shar on November 13, 2000, at 8:17:01
In reply to I guess a psychology question?, posted by judy1 on November 8, 2000, at 12:36:21
Judy1,
How are you doing, medwise and therapy-wise, and otherwise? Are things better for you?Shar
> I was wondering if anyone was able to get better without confronting their "issues"? I have an extreme trust problem with therapists (in my case a psychiatrist) and I seem to be unable to talk about anything. I think my meds have definitely calmed me down, but I'm just frozen in my sessions. And this is a nice person. I think I am incapable of discussing my baggage, I've pushed too much down and don't even remember everything. I feel like if I continue to go (3 days a week now), I'll just relapse with cutting or something worse. Do you think it would be a good idea to stay away for a while? Thanks.
Posted by judy1 on November 14, 2000, at 14:45:02
In reply to Re: I guess a psychology question?---Judy1 ??, posted by shar on November 13, 2000, at 8:17:01
Thank you for asking, I went back to my old psychiatrist who is 100 miles away. I would rather drive 2 hours each way and have someone who understands what I'm going through. He is an extremely compassionate man. I felt like I was getting worse seeing the local psych. I have just started a new med- topamax- so I don't know where I am yet. Feeling pretty numb. I hope you are well- Judy
Posted by shar on November 14, 2000, at 20:23:05
In reply to Shar, posted by judy1 on November 14, 2000, at 14:45:02
I agree with you 100% that if you have a good rapport with your psychiatrist, the drive is worth it. I really hope you start getting some relief soon, it's been a long time and a lot of pain for you.
Please keep in touch.
Shar
> Thank you for asking, I went back to my old psychiatrist who is 100 miles away. I would rather drive 2 hours each way and have someone who understands what I'm going through. He is an extremely compassionate man. I felt like I was getting worse seeing the local psych. I have just started a new med- topamax- so I don't know where I am yet. Feeling pretty numb. I hope you are well- Judy
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