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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lamdage22 on February 24, 2021, at 11:55:18
Think I am gaining some self confidence. I often perceive myself to be weird or unfriendly due to anxiety. But even if that is true? So freakin what? I will survive awkward moments and orhers will, as well. The less I care, the less they will.
This may be the psychotherapy! Unfortunately the therapist is gone until next week, but I wrote that stuff down. Thank goodness! Maybe I am on the way towards more self acceptance!
There are weird people! So what? As long as they dont hurt anyone, its perfectly fine!
Posted by Lamdage22 on February 24, 2021, at 11:56:56
In reply to The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by Lamdage22 on February 24, 2021, at 11:55:18
I had an awkward moment just now. And I realized that something in my perception changed!
Posted by alexandra_k on March 20, 2021, at 4:22:02
In reply to Re: The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by Lamdage22 on February 24, 2021, at 11:56:56
Indeed they do!!
I think most people are insecure, really. When they see people like them (in some sense) it helps them feel accepted and part of things and so on.
I had this experience today... Just walking along the street... A group of ladies... Wearing dresses. Nice hair. They probably thought they were regular, nice, normal. I don't know.
I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in my shorts and t-shirt. But, it's okay. People are allowed to be different. They looked nice. It's okay. Whatever.
Then, when I stopped at the lights one of them is making a comment about bag and haircuts and cities. And I understand my bag is faded and my hair is untidy and... They are likely people from the country who made an effort to look nice for their trip into the city...
...
And then later these girls... Who I would naturally feel more comfortable with... 10 or maybe 20 or even 25 years ago... I would be one of them. With their jeans (loose leg is back) and so on... Sweaters in the sunshine for whatever reason... I don't know.
And at the lights one of them yells 'ladies you are going to hell!!!'
And I don't quite know what things are about...
But 'judge not least ye be judged yourself'.
People just want to feel accepted and like they are okay.
And people have insecurities for whatever reason.
And sometimes when you feel afraid that people are judging you and not accepting you... They are actually afraid that you are judging them and are not accepting them. Sometimes (always, most likely) their judgements reflect their own insecurities...
There is a bit of a pathology / stereotype about how... I don't know... Mass murderers and terrorist bombers... Keep to themselves. Certain age and so on. The demographic. But in this day and age it's a stereotype is all it is. We have information that we need to see what they are up to. If they are ordering explosives on the internet or google searching how to build a concrete slave chamber under their house or if they are harmless... So it's just a stereotype to pathologise is all...
People are usually 'weird' or 'unfriendly' for their own reasons.
Yeah.
Glad you are here.
Posted by Lamdage22 on March 20, 2021, at 5:08:43
In reply to Re: The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by alexandra_k on March 20, 2021, at 4:22:02
Thanks:) Unfortunately, this is something that many parents teach. You have to be a certain way in order to be accepted and loved by them. I think I had that in a pretty extreme way. Its what they call conditional love. And conditional love usually makes as more weird, not less. People who don't let things and themselves be how they are, are the weirdest. But you have to accept that weirdness in order to become less weird, IF you want that. We have to give to ourselves what our parents didn't give to us, which is unconditional love and acceptance. Therapists can help alot with that.
Posted by Lamdage22 on March 20, 2021, at 5:10:08
In reply to Re: The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by Lamdage22 on March 20, 2021, at 5:08:43
But yeah, its not a crime to be a weirdo!
Posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2021, at 2:41:14
In reply to Re: The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by Lamdage22 on March 20, 2021, at 5:10:08
Yeah, parents come with all their own baggage and crap, that's for sure.
Parents often do put expectations on their kids. Parents often want to live vicariously through their kids. Parents often force or become very very invested in living a life that their parents wanted for themselves...
Only...
It's not certain...
Everybody wants their kid to become a doctor...
I'm not sure that those parents would actually choose to do the work themselves, rather than trying to con their kids into doing the work lol.
And ditto for engineering...
And sports...
And all the things.
And then other parents are determined not to do that to their kids so they sort of go too hands off and the kids grow up sort of aimless...
Hmm.
Fit is important.
Posted by Lamdage22 on April 9, 2021, at 2:09:17
In reply to Re: The Weird or unfriendly still have right to exist!, posted by alexandra_k on March 23, 2021, at 2:41:14
Say YES to your weirdness!
This guy is awesome
This is the end of the thread.
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