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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by poppet on August 17, 2009, at 9:19:52
Hi, im a newbie so hello -
I wanted to know if anyone can relate - I have trouble with getting angry at my therapist - i can't tolerate the feelings, they're completely 'split' i think is the right term - when I do get angry or upset -i only feel negative, very bad emotions that feel like the whole world is bad. I think my mother had trouble tolerating them, and thus couldn't give love back, and was not able assimilate both emotions in myself, and in her as an object. As for my therapist, I can't even get that far, in that I can't bring myself to get angry at her. My angry feelings were obviously once, and still are, and can't see a way around that since they won't even show themselves to my therapist who is the person who could help me!
Anyone relate?
Posted by obsidian on August 17, 2009, at 20:08:22
In reply to anger, posted by poppet on August 17, 2009, at 9:19:52
> Hi, im a newbie so hello -
> I wanted to know if anyone can relate - I have trouble with getting angry at my therapist - i can't tolerate the feelings, they're completely 'split' i think is the right term - when I do get angry or upset -i only feel negative, very bad emotions that feel like the whole world is bad. I think my mother had trouble tolerating them, and thus couldn't give love back, and was not able assimilate both emotions in myself, and in her as an object. As for my therapist, I can't even get that far, in that I can't bring myself to get angry at her. My angry feelings were obviously once, and still are, and can't see a way around that since they won't even show themselves to my therapist who is the person who could help me!
> Anyone relate?Well, anger is a tough thing for me to handle. My mother could never handle me being angry, it meant I was a horrible person.... and since anger was unacceptable, my perception of reality often got warped.
I guess the question is...what might happen if you got angry at your therapist? what kind of things might you get angry at your therapist for?
Posted by fleeting flutterby on August 17, 2009, at 20:47:24
In reply to anger, posted by poppet on August 17, 2009, at 9:19:52
> Hi, im a newbie so hello -<<
---flutterby: Hi and Welcome.
> I wanted to know if anyone can relate - I have trouble with getting angry at my therapist - i can't tolerate the feelings, they're completely 'split' i think is the right term - when I do get angry or upset -i only feel negative, very bad emotions that feel like the whole world is bad.<<---flutterby: Yea, I feel the world is bad or Im very bad..... when I'm supposed to feel angry.(so I've been told)
>>I think my mother had trouble tolerating them, and thus couldn't give love back, and was not able assimilate both emotions in myself, and in her as an object. As for my therapist, I can't even get that far, in that I can't bring myself to get angry at her. My angry feelings were obviously once, and still are, and can't see a way around that since they won't even show themselves to my therapist who is the person who could help me!
> Anyone relate?
>---flutterby: My mother didn't show love unless she knew she woould get some reward back-- like giving love to a neighbor child or something..... and(as a child) I saw that anger creates severe emotional pain and physical injury and so I have, most of my life, feared anger. It's not a safe emotion-- in my view.
I hope you can get to the point where you can feel OK enough to show your therapist your anger. (wow-- I don't think I could ever be angry at the therapist I see......)
best to you,flutterby-mandy
Posted by sassyfrancesca on August 18, 2009, at 15:38:30
In reply to Re: anger » poppet, posted by fleeting flutterby on August 17, 2009, at 20:47:24
I've been angry many times and I tell him; sometimes in writing.
Anger isn't bad, it is necessary to let us know there is something wrong that needs attention, or needs to be fixed.
As children we had no choice or voice in what happened to us. Trying to ignore those old tapes (lies) told to us by our parent(s) is difficult.
Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just ARE, and should be recognized, honored and dealt with.
Start with little baby steps......I felt.......when you..........see where that goes....especially with a therapist who should know how to handle ALL of your feelings.
"I" messages so someone doesn't feel attacked...I feel....I felt.....I was confused.....I....I
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