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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 111 to 135 of 135. Go back in thread:
Posted by susan47 on April 29, 2007, at 10:42:28
In reply to Re: Less Pain » susan47, posted by Dinah on April 28, 2007, at 22:53:48
I am still very sensitive about the whole issue.
Posted by Tarzan on August 22, 2007, at 12:20:49
In reply to Re: M. Scott Peck?? Is this an exorcism BBS?, posted by Crackers on September 11, 2006, at 2:11:24
I have benefited greatly from his books. Particularly The road less traveled and Further along the road less traveled. Please don't be turned off by Scott Peck if all you know about him is what you have read in this topic. He defines evil, laziness and other things very diferently than what you may be use to. I suggest reading the first few pages of the road less traveled. It should give you a good idea of weather you should or should not read the rest of the book. We are all on different journeys, but for me, Scott Peck jumpstarted my personal never ending growth towards maturity. It may be worth your time to read the first few pages of the road less traveled and then go from there.
Posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 19:47:51
In reply to Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:15:16
Whoops. I haven't been at all good about keeping this thread current.
But I really do have a question. I've devoured all my psychology books of the type I like best. Interesting case studies. Things like:
"The Mummy at the Dining Room Table"
"The Love Bug and Other Tales of Psychotherapy"
"The Man with the Beautiful Voice"
"The Taboo Scarf and Other Tales of Therapy"
"The Luckiest Girl in the World"
and of course
"Every Day Gets a Little Closer"
"Momma and the Meaning of Life"
I've just finished "Delivering Doctor Amelia" which wasn't a collection so much as an entire book about one case. I didn't have strong feelings about it one way or another.
Posted by Daisym on May 16, 2008, at 21:39:24
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 19:47:51
I loved that book! I've read it three times - but it speaks to me pretty directly on a lot of levels.
If you haven't read "Attachment in Psychotherapy" - I think you might like it. It has many case examples and talks a lot about why it works best when a client is attached and how all that looks like.
I just went to a presentation today on a psychological approach to Colic - it was really interesting.
Posted by twinleaf on May 16, 2008, at 22:32:54
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Daisym on May 16, 2008, at 21:39:24
This has been a long-running thread with a lot of excellent book recommendations. I've read several- all very good, and just ordered the book on attachment which Daisy recommended. Thank you both!
Posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 23:06:34
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Daisym on May 16, 2008, at 21:39:24
"Delivering Doctor Amelia" is the one you're speaking of?
I might try rereading it. It was the first book I read on my Kindle and getting used to the format might have distracted me. What was it that spoke to you?
I think maybe the psychologist didn't remind me very much of my own. Or maybe his mixed feelings towards his client made me feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for the recommendation. I really need some more books. I've read the others so often. And attachment is one of my favorite topics.
Posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 23:12:02
In reply to Useful books- Dinah and Daisy, posted by twinleaf on May 16, 2008, at 22:32:54
It was a thread I really enjoyed.
Also the thread where we read "In Session: The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists" as a group. We never did finish that book... Well, not as a group anyway.
Posted by twinleaf on May 16, 2008, at 23:28:12
In reply to Re: Useful books- Dinah and Daisy » twinleaf, posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 23:12:02
No, we never did. But it was still extremely interesting.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 22, 2008, at 10:35:32
In reply to Re: double double quotes » TofuEmmy, posted by Dr. Bob on January 5, 2005, at 23:50:36
by Peter Rutter
I believe this is a book which should be read by EVERY mental health are provider.
My situation is that my t has "sexualized" our relationship; of course I know I should leave, but not ready for that.
This stuff is a HUGE problem, but no one talks about it too much. When the book was written, according to the author (10 years ago or more); there was NOTHING on the subject of erotic feelings, a t sexualizing a relationship, not to mention having sex with a client.
The silence is still deafening as to what goes on behind closed doors.
Posted by 10derHeart on May 22, 2008, at 17:45:59
In reply to Re: 'Sex in the Forbidden Zone', posted by sassyfrancesca on May 22, 2008, at 10:35:32
Posted by susan47 on May 23, 2008, at 0:02:58
In reply to Re: 'Sex in the Forbidden Zone', posted by sassyfrancesca on May 22, 2008, at 10:35:32
How did your T sexualize your relationship?
I wish you healing.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 23, 2008, at 7:37:36
In reply to Re: 'Sex in the Forbidden Zone' » sassyfrancesca, posted by susan47 on May 23, 2008, at 0:02:58
Hi, Susan: Well, it is an excruciatingly loooong story. I have been with him for 5 years.
It is sexual innuendo, and also touching (no sex)......I could write a book on what he has said and done.
We both attended he same American Counseling Associations' conference in Hawaii a few months ago; he saw me 5 times, but didn't say anything (silly rules),BUT he attended the Opening Dance party, and spent a half an hour looking for me (said he would have danced with me!)...I was shocked he told me that.
A few of the things he has said: "If I were not married, I would probably go for it." You are in my heart and in my head" I am a fantastic kisser; I can go all night long." There are 100's of sexual innuendo/comments.
The miracle is NOT that I haven't acted on my feelings, but I haven't in SPITE of what he has said and done...to lead me on.
He is in a terrible struggle with himself, and has dragged me into it. He is supposed to do his "work" invisibly, etc.
Sassy
Posted by Dinah on June 3, 2008, at 13:37:57
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on May 16, 2008, at 19:47:51
"The Therapeutic Use of Self" by Val Wosket.
In some ways, the book mildly annoys me. I think some of her interpretations of what's going on with her clients could stand some counterpoints.
For example, she used a feedback form and discovered that clients often come in and not discuss what they really needed to talk about. Instead they bring up superficial issues in order to avoid talking about what's bothering them. Her solution was to ask whether this was something they needed to talk to her about today, or if they thought they could handle this themselves. She thinks that the frequent answers that they can handle it themselves means that this is a good strategy. I'm thinking it more likely deflates the clients and makes them think this isn't something they should bring to therapy. Or at least that's how I would feel. And there are other things like that, where her interpretations seem rather convenient.
But I am loving this book because it really captures what it is that I'm asking from my therapist. It really captures the essence of being present in the moment. I've bookmarked several passages.
So this seems like the right book for the right time for me at this moment.
Posted by Daisym on June 4, 2008, at 1:19:10
In reply to Right now I'm reading, posted by Dinah on June 3, 2008, at 13:37:57
I just finished "Love and death in Psychotherapy." -- I pretty much hated it. It was a required reading book but I'm going to suggest that they replace it with "A General Theory of Love."
I think what I objected to the most was the author's use of "false" love and "real" love - both on the part of the client and the therapist. He really has a problem with any bending of the theraputic frame - definitely NOT attachment theory and technique. He thinks it is seductive to allow a client to make a schedule change due to that client's need. To be fair, he holds the therapist to the same standard.
His writing is thick and hard to wade through. The back cover cracked me up - something about "clear and concise" and for anyone who wanted new ideas to deal with this "most distressing" event (love that is). Even his statistics show that he goes against what most therapist believe.
The one piece that was interesting was the discussion of death anxiety and how it rarely gets talked about but is often a layer in discussions.
I wouldn't recommend the book though. One piece was not enough...
Posted by Dinah on June 4, 2008, at 9:11:15
In reply to Re: Right now I'm reading, posted by Daisym on June 4, 2008, at 1:19:10
Ugh. I'm pretty sure I'd hate that one too. I can't believe it's required reading. I can't even imagine thinking schedule changes are seductive.
I don't particularly care for my Friday time. I think part of the reason my therapist and I run into problems is that it's too late in the day and he's tired - especially on a Friday. When he's relaxed and in a good humor it can be great. But when he's not, it really shows by two on Fridays.
But I accept it with no more than the occasional request that he let me know if a more congenial time opens up on a consistent basis.
During the summer, my schedule changes due to summer vacation from my son's school. I just can't do two on Fridays. I couldn't even imagine a therapist who thought temporarily adjusting times for the summer was seductive.
That's just odd.
I have "A General Theory of Love" on my Kindle. I'm hoping I'll have an easier time reading it when I try again. Maybe I should skip the first chapter?
Posted by Nadezda on June 4, 2008, at 10:11:34
In reply to Re: Right now I'm reading » Daisym, posted by Dinah on June 4, 2008, at 9:11:15
I didn't like it at all-- for one thing, it wasn't interesting. It was written, as I recall, in this kind of overly simple style, as if to make it really really easy-- a style I never like.
And then it didn't say much. As for false love, and the therapeutic frame--- I don't agree with that-- so I would have liked it less if I'd gotten that far.
I read a few chapters way back when we were all going to read it. Anyone remember that plan?
Anyone want to read something? preferably that we want to read? that's really informative, or engaging-- or both?
I would--
Nadezda
Posted by Daisym on June 5, 2008, at 0:34:32
In reply to Re: Right now I'm reading, posted by Nadezda on June 4, 2008, at 10:11:34
I was wondering if we wanted to attempt a journaling book together. I'm just starting to read, "Writing Cures" and it is a very modern discussion of all kinds of writing for counseling. It has a section about online writing - both counseling done completely online and text messages/emails between therapist and clients. It might be interesting to see if we agree since online and writing, is "our" speciality...if I can be so bold to say.
Otherwise, I'll just post about the book a bit.
I'm glad you've revived the book thread. :)
Posted by Nadezda on June 5, 2008, at 10:40:37
In reply to Re: Right now I'm reading » Nadezda, posted by Daisym on June 5, 2008, at 0:34:32
That sounds great. I've order the book. The idea of journaling sounds perfect for me right now, because I'm rethinking a lot of things; a place to keep my thoughts on a lot of things my T and other people are saying, that I'd like to think about, would help me remember the most important idea that come up.
The book should come in a few days. I'm glad you'll be writing online too.
Nadezda
Posted by llurpsienoodle on June 6, 2008, at 10:21:56
In reply to Re: Right now I'm reading, posted by Nadezda on June 5, 2008, at 10:40:37
Hi Daisym, Nadezda,
I've been working my way through the book by Julia Cameron "Walking in this World". She has a number of practical exercises for developing and nurturing our creative selves.
At the heart of the book is the method of "morning pages" 3 uncensored, unfiltered, stream-of-consciousness pages of whatever drivel comes to mind at 6am or whenever normal people get up.
Sadly, Cameron comments on the nature of psychotherapy, and displays her naive understanding of the psychotherapeutic process. She places her method and the psychotherapeutic method at opposite ends of the spectrum for healing oneself.
Still though, the exercise has helped me get energy to take on more tasks and to play with my beads, starting my own little business. That much I give her credit for. I didn't even tell my T about the jewelry business until this week!
I'll take a peek at the book you recommended, Daisy. Thanks much!
-Ll
Posted by DAisym on June 6, 2008, at 19:27:10
In reply to Walking in This World- journalling, posted by llurpsienoodle on June 6, 2008, at 10:21:56
I'll look at the book - I'm always looking for other perspectives.
I do wonder, though, if some of these writers have either had a bad experience or no experience with therapy, or if it is a marketing "thing" to place their technique or theory away from psychotherapy. Almost like a "you can heal yourself - don't spend any money except on this!" kind of a banner. I don't know.
What I also have been thinking about is how everyone who writes - who truly falls in love with writing and sees writing as essential, writes about writing. I do it - I write...and then I write about writing. And there are a million books and articles about the value, joy and healing of writing. A book I read a long time ago was "Writers on Therapy" - which a very interesting exercise to read and then try to dublicate.
Like I don't have enough other things to do. :)
Posted by Dinah on April 17, 2009, at 12:56:46
In reply to Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:15:16
I've let this thread get lost in the archives. :(
It's not strictly a psychology book, but I've been listening to a bunch of Stephen White books lately. The protagonist is a psychotherapist, and he talks a bit about his feelings about his fictional patients, and how he thinks about therapy.
I find it more than a bit unsettling, and my therapist will probably get a bit of suspiciousness fallout from it.
Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 7:46:26
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on April 17, 2009, at 12:56:46
"Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?"
It was purely coincidence. I had purchased it on impulse a while back without really figuring out what it was about. One of those last minute, "It's on sale, why not?" purchases that I try not to make.
But it's pure serendipity. In amongst the other stuff is information on what I'm struggling with now. Not that I want to attract anyone of course. But the underlying principles are the same.
It's really really interesting, even if it weren't so timely.
Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 12:34:37
In reply to Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes?, posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 7:46:26
It's also extremely interesting to hear them describe what behavior causes women to choose men. It lines up perfectly with therapist behavior. Long periods of time gazing at the other person, murmured encouragement to continue speaking. It was like therapy was designed for seduction.
I was telling my therapist about it, and he was laughing.
Hmmm... I also went into a long explanation about why I would never see him for therapy if he looked like Dr. Drew. It was ostensibly because the book also talks about how women who had good experiences with their fathers might be attracted to those who show the same general pattern of looks. And I was only attracted to the polar opposites, so did that mean I didn't have a good relationship with my father? My father was tall, with dark hair and big brown eyes. While I am attracted to blonde haired guys with crinkly blue eyes, not overly tall, and not in the teeniest bit intense like my father. With blonde arm hair that curls over their watchbands. (Sexiest part of a guy's anatomy.)
My husband laughs and quotes Sam from Cheers. "You've just described yourself. Congratulations. I hope you'll be very happy together."
But... Maybe it was in part to get back at him for the comment about the "Extreme Makeover" show he made last session?
Posted by 10derHeart on May 5, 2009, at 14:11:56
In reply to I nearly forgot... Hmmmm......, posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 12:34:37
Maybe I missed a post below, but....what on earth did he say last session? (I'm almost afraid to ask/know...eek!)
I'm assuming you were *not* talking about Extreme Makeover - Home Edition, but the other one...
[I keep picturing if my T. ever even brought up that show, *even* if I started the topic - as I don't play fair - I might start announcing: "Danger! Will Robinson! Danger! - to get him OFF such a topic...lol]
My point being you are so, so brave...
Posted by Dinah on May 5, 2009, at 17:23:52
In reply to Re: I nearly forgot... Hmmmm...... » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on May 5, 2009, at 14:11:56
Yeah, the other one.
It was just a joke. I'd said that sooner or later I guess I'd have to sort out what things about me I can't change, what I can change, and what I shouldn't change. He said like "Yeah, we can send you to Extreme Makeover." I must have looked.... Anyway, he went on to explain what the show did, I responded that I doubted that would fix all my problems, he acknowledged that it wouldn't, and said he was just kidding.
I know he was. But it stung a bit. I laughed about it with my husband. And I can live with it.
But I can see myself having some ulterior motives in mentioning what I did about blonde arm hair. And seeing him reflexively check to see how his own arm hair curled around his watch. :))
I still need to work on that lovingkindness I suppose.
It really is a cool book though. It came into our conversation because I was laughing my head off at the section on penis size when he came to get me, and he asked why I was laughing.
I'd have probably mentioned it anyway, given the appropriateness to what we've been discussing.
As the book goes on I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with the similarities between courtship and therapy.
This is the end of the thread.
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